Bridgerton - A Girl To Remember

Chapter Twenty - Nine

"what were you thinking?! Entering the competition?! Leaving and coming back at night?! What is wrong with you?!" Anthony starts,

"I never expected it to go this far" I admit,

"well, it did. And I blame you. When did this even start?"

"I do not know, a few weeks ago"

"was this going on before you came here?" he asks as if he just discovered something,

"no, it did not" I reply numb,

"and you're telling me no one knew about this?"

"no" of course I was not going to tell him I did this together with the prince of England,

"well I do not believe you"

"not my problem"

"I beg your pardon?!"

"it is over, Anthony, your hate will not change a single thing"

"oh, so you think I should accept this behavior?"

"behavior? You call this behavior?"

"yes, you broke almost every rule that ever existed"

"that is a lie, and you know it. I showed everyone that women are just as good as men and simply because you disagree does not mean I will stop"

"you only came this far because people wanted to know who was beneath the hat, Olivia, do not flatter yourself"

"no, I came this far because no one knew I was not a man. That is why."

"well I hope it was worth it because not one single man on this planet will ever want you as a wife"

"that is your opinion, Anthony. Simply because you are looking for the perfect wife that never makes a mistake does not mean all other men seek the same"

"what did you just say?"

"it is true Anthony! You can do whatever you want, you can behave like a beast, have several mistresses at the same time and live the life you want to. But I cannot, and neither can Eloise, Francesca, or Hyacinth. Only because we are not male, and if you are fine with that then shame on you."

"my sisters will have a wonderful life, but you will not, because you made yourself a FOOL. That is what this is about"

"well, you are wrong. Because I know there is someone who wants me for who I am, not for the person I pretend to be!" I speak loud and Anthony falls silent for a second,

"I never asked you to pretend"

"you did, the moment you changed my last name"

"It is only a name!"

"yes, and it is not even mine!"

"well, you do not need to pretend anymore, you will have your final ball tomorrow and if you do not have a proposal that night, you will leave our house"

"I should have known.."

"you had the chance of becoming a princess, and one day a queen, but it is all gone. What mustn't the prince think of you..."

"he thinks I made a mistake"

"a mistake?! I think he will never want to come near you after that stunt"

I laugh, "you were right, Anthony, someone did indeed know about my scheme at the competition" I look him in the eyes and he raises his eyebrow, "I met the prince a few weeks ago"

"at the ball"

"in the woods"

"I'm sorry?"

"only he did not know I was... me, and I had no idea it was him"

"How could you not recognize the prince?"

"he was wearing the clothes of a stableboy, Anthony, and he gave me a fake name. as did I"

"what?"

"we spoke for a moment and I accidentally told him I used to dress as a boy and compete. He convinced me to enter the competition and set everything up, he worked at the stables and so it was no problem for him"

"the prince as a stableboy?!"

"yes, he named himself Chris. And so I trained at night and got through the auditions-..."

"you trained at night?!"

"YES, Anthony, I did. But then, at the ball, I saw him and he saw me and..."

"The truth came out"

"exactly, but no one could know, I was still competing"

"so you pretended.."

"Indeed, I went to the semi-finals and finals but there we got a fight. He wanted me to win, and if I unmasked myself before the ceremony I would get disqualified. Only I could not, because I promised Eloise. And so we argued and I left him in anger, we have not seen each other since..."

"of course you have not! And you will never see him again!"

"he will be at the ball as well, Anthony"

"oh no... you do not actually think the prince will want to talk to you, do you? If he only says a word people start to whisper, people are going to know. Trust me on this one Olivia, I am a man as well and if I had to choose between my own reputation and I girl, I would give up on her without thinking twice"

"yes, you would, Anthony, which is EXACTLY why we're here. Because men like you exist. But he is not like you"

"love makes people idiots Olivia, why would you fall for it?"

"he supported me while riding, he wanted me to win! You only want me to lose so you can feel good about yourself!"

"that is not true!"

"no? well then why is everything my fault? Why can I not do a single thing right? I will never be good enough for you..." my eyes start to water,

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

"of course you don't..."

"We leave for the ball at 5, you can wear and do whatever you like, I could not care less"

"you have never cared for anyone..." I shake my head and turn around, I feel someone grabbing my arm,

"I would change your words..." he threatens,

"yes, you are right. You have never cared for anyone... but yourself.." I give him a fake smile and shake my arm out of his grip. I look around and see everyone staring at me with big eyes and open mouths, I am certainly not invisible anymore, and I am afraid I never will be...