boredom of a teenage girl

fuck. She's perfect. The perfect friends, perfect family, perfect body, perfect act, perfect sense of humor. I want it. My sister Anita was born in 2004 making her 3 years older than me, she's 16. My parents both work in huge company's making filthy money, so i rarely see them. Especially after the divorce. Ugh that almost killed me. When my mum is on work trips which tends to happen once or twice a week my sister takes it as her invitation to throw huge house parties, completely ignoring the fact this is my house too! Her friends are even louder than her and the boys make inappropriate jokes that boom around the cloudy white walls. One day i wish to be like her, going out every night, not giving two fucks what people and society want of me, and sticking my middle finger up at the world.

SEPTEMBER 12TH

ahh yes my favorite day of the year. Anita's birthday. It just so happens to fall on the Friday my mum and dad are out of town.
'Diana, you promise me you won't say anything to mum or dad, i haven't had a fun night and i really need this,' she whispers in my ear.
she's lying. She went out on Wednesday, and the day before and the day before and Saturday. I wonder what she gets up to if going out for 5 days in a row isn't her idea of 'fun'. Sure is mine.
'yes, okay.' I hesitantly reply.
i fiddle with the ring on my right ring finger that i got in Turkey as i walk upstairs staring at the floor.
Suddenly i get jolted back into real time when the door knocks and henry walks through the door with no sense of personal awareness. How do i know his name? Good question! That's Anitas boyfriend.
I had to have dinner with him last month, i hope they never break up, i'm dreading having to do that again.
Slowly more and more arrive until it's like a night club. Screaming, shouting and drinks spilling. They're already drunk.

i slowly sit on my bed and indulge in the orange and beige colour on my LED lights. I feel empty. My current school doesn't like me, i'm an A* student but it's not where i'm meant to be, they all know that. I'm supposed to be at an independent and advanced grammer school, but instead i'm finding myself at an mixed mediocre secondary school. The few people i know outside of my petite school say that my school, Nottingham Oaks high is the school for people with no other option. It makes me feel dark inside and it is slowly eating me up. I want success in life, but no one thinks what i think. Snap out of it Diana. Almost like how it happens in the movies my phone chimes and the sound leaves an ear screeching ding echoing around my small room.
ALICE @notinghamoakschat: anyone free to call?
this group chat at my school drives me insane. I slam my phone back on the bed until i realise there's nothing but my empty soul in my room. It can't hurt to have another voice here, can it?
I don't really know Alice, i know she's friends with someone i used to be friends with, and she's fairly intelligent. I'm in top set with her.
YOU: sure, i'll call you.
i tap on her profile and press the call button, my finger hesitates over the green light hovering below my finger for a few seconds.
Ringing Alice Brimback...
i point my phone towards the ceiling in case she thinks it's too much to show my face on our first call.
Alice picks up to the call and greets me, she seems kind, although it's so fucking awkward.
'So uhm... What are you doing this weekend?' she finally approaches me with a question and it calms down the tension.
'Uhh nothing i don't think haha, well i have cheerleading but that's on Sunday so... uhh...'
She seems impressed by the fact i do cheerleading, but i get that a lot considering some people can't get it into there head that pom dance and cheer are two different sports.
We have a light conversation about our hobbies when she takes a breath and opens her mouth again.
'Well there's a party on Saturday, basically everyone's going, wanna come? You can invite someone if you'd like!' She says.
WTF. Party? Yes! but am i ready. I mean i still basically cry over the fact i don't go to parties but does that have something to say about my ability to go to one? I say yes and follow along with saying i need to go. I don't, but i sure do need to get an outfit.

SATURDAY 13TH

what the fuck is that noise? Oh. Right. Anitas friends.
I slowly approach the stairs in nothing but a short t-shirt, silk shorts and a brown zip up jacket. I peek into the living room door, where all her friends stayed over and find my self looking at a shirtless boy lying on the top of the sofa holding a beer. I don't even want to know what i slept through.
'Hey Dee.' My sister walks straight out and i follow her at the speed of light.
'How late where you? The boy on the sofa looks broken.' I reply.
Anita is still wearing her dress from last night but no bra, something isn't quite adding up...
'I don't know Dee, like four at the late-' She suddenly got interrupted.
'So this is your hot cheerleader sister. I'm Josh.'
What the actual hell is going on. Josh had brown hair with a slight wave and tinted yellow teeth that stood out against his white grubby t-shirt.
'Seriously Josh? Go back to bed dumbass.' My sister replies not quite realizing the look of anger on my face.
I explained to her about how the stereotype of cheerleaders doesn't match up and it's all a load of bullshit but she didn't get that bit.
'Cmon Dee, he's just drunk for fuck sake.'

right, drunk.