EZH #5: Hope Tuason [ON GOING]

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

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"Kailan pa?" Mahina kong tanong. Hope's already soft gaze soften even more. Hindi ko alam kung paano niya iyon nagagawa.

How could he look at me like I didn't cause him pain for as long as after he caught feelings for me?

Hope shrugged, na para bang hindi na iyon importante pa.

"I wasn't counting," he sheepishly answered. "Important ba 'yun?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. The silence stretched on. I was too lost in my own mental breakdown about everything. Kung kailan pakiramdam ko ay handa na akong umahon sa lungkot na dala ng pagiging engaged ni Tim ay tsaka naman ako nilulunod ng guilt para sa nagawa ko kay Hope.

"I'm sorry," bulong ko. Mabilis na napatingin sa akin si Hope. Kumunot ang kanyang noo.

"Why?"

"For...," I gulped. "For hurting you."

"You didn't do it on purpose," mabilis na sagot ni Hope. He was really sure about what he was telling me. Hindi marunong magsinungaling si Hope at kapag ginagawa niya iyon ay halatang halata siya. Tumungo siya at kinutkot ang himulmol sa tuhod na parte ng suot niyang ripped jeans. "If anything, I should be the one apologizing for making you feel like you need to apologize."

"Gosh, Hope," ungot ko. isinubsob ko ang mukha sa throw pillow na nasa gitna namin. "Why are you so damn nice?"

He was not making it easier to not feel guilty anymore!

Hindi na nakasagot si Hope dahil tumunog na naman iyong cellphone niya. It was the third time already. He put his phone on silent earlier and it seemed that he couldn't ignore the call anymore.

"Sagutin mo muna," I told him. Mukhang importante kasi iyong tawag considering na private ang line nila at may proseso pa bago magkaroon ng contact sa kanila. Napabuntong hininga si Hope bago siya tumango. He stood up and went outside to take his call.

Habang nasa labas si Hope ay nag-isip ako. I bit my nails as I tried to think how I should approach Hope's feelings for me. I couldn't just... I couldn't just ignore it like I did with the others who confessed to me. Kaibigan ko si Hope at mahalaga siya sa akin.

I couldn't just cut him off my life.

Pero anong gagawin ko? I couldn't let myself hurt him further, too.

Naputol ang pag-iisip ko nang bumalik na si Hope.

"I need to go home," he announced. He was frowning a little.

"Okay," huminga ako nang malalim at lumabas din. "Hatid kita sa gate."

Lumakad kaming dalawa papunta sa gate. Binuksan ko iyon at lumabas si Hope. Sa labas nakaparada ang kotse niya dahil dalawang sasakyan lang ang kasya sa garahe namin. Occupied iyon ng kotse ng Mommy at Daddy ko. Iniiwan nila ang mga iyon when they travel. Wala naman kaming drive way.

"Ivana," hinawakan ni Hope ang kamay ko. Napatingin ako sa kanya. He smiled at me. "Please don't overthink this okay? You don't have to decide now," Hope's thumb caressed the back of my hand. "Just... I don't know," he shrugged. "Just enjoy my company for a while before you decide if you like me back or not. No pressure."

Huminga ulit ako nang malalim, wondering if I was capable of doing that.

Kaya ko ba na hayaan na lang? How could I not overthink things?

"I will try," tipid ang ngiti na sagot ko.

"And that's enough for me," Hope squeezed my hand. "See you tomorrow?"