Today is the day of my coronation...after the five years of journey I will be recognised as a doctor but I am not really very happy with it... before five years I entered the Nagpur Medical College to become a doctor... mostly people get into this field either they wish for it or they are forced to become so...I fall in that group of people who are forced....I am not telling that doctor is bad or the profession is bad...I am just telling I did not wanted to become a doctor but aaj kismat ka khel dekho...mein aaj doctor ban gayi...well leave all this..my chain of thoughts were broken by the voice of the host of the programme...he called out my name Dr. Purvi Holkar...I just wish how much I want to bash that host's face...why does he have to insert that abbreviation of doctor before my name...but(I sighed) I cannot change that...truth is truth...I cannot change my name...now everyone will call me Dr. Purvi Holkar...I never wanted to become a doctor...I was forced by my parents...they forced me to such an extent that I had to take counseling sessions provided by our school...I was so stressed that whenever I talked with my counselor I cried...I did not wanted to but I could not control myself...I question that why I am deprived of choosing what I want to become...I feel so lonely and depressed...my teachers helped me a lot...they have tried to made my parents understand but they were too stubborn to understand it...I told them to leave...I still remember I was in class 9 when our half yearly report cards were issued...I was really happy that I scored a really good percentile of marks but parents being parents...I am not telling they were not happy with it but aadat se majboor log....I don't know why they liked to compare my marks with others...and then make me under confident....I was sitting in my balcony when my mother came to me...she from nowhere started blabbering something...in that chaos only one thing I Heard carefully or what touched my heart or what made me emotional was this line.... your dad wanted to become a doctor but due to some reasons he could not....I so very wished if you could fulfill his dream...I was awestruck by it....I loved my father a lot and so everyone does....when I heard that he wanted to become a doctor and could not...this made me Emotional and hurt...I somewhere questioned myself that am I so incompetent that I cannot fulfill my father's dream...my superhero's dream...yes he was my superhero...he fulfilled my wish even before I wished for...I still wonder how he came to know about it...so I call him my superhero...maybe he possesses some superpowers...he fought for me... took a stand for me...saved me from mom's scolding and even from teacher's....we quietly went eat icecream at 2:00a.m. without mom knowing it...it was so fun...then next day we used to get cold and lie on bed with thermometers pushed into our mouths and temperature coming above 101°C, mom knowing it and scolding both of us...I still remember how he used to hug me tight in that high fever and fight with mom...I still can feel his shivering body....he had high fever but still did not care about it....what he only cared was me....Purvi...where is Purvi, how is she, has she eaten anything, has she returned from school, does she wants to eat something and so on...that day itself I decided whatever happens whatever comes in my way but I will fulfill my father's dream...he will live his dreams....I still remember whenever I used to lack confidence I used to remind myself only this line.... Purvi dad's dream was of becoming a doctor and you have to live his dream... you have to become a doctor...not only to make him happy but make him smile...aaj tak unhone tujhe bahut kuch diya hai ab teri baari hai unke chehre par muskaan laane ki... this made me super motivated and I again used to start studying... there were many obstacles in my path... during the starting phase I could not cope with the thousands of intelligent students...but again my dad....I don't know from where he came and gave me confidence...I studied I studied really hard only for him...my superhero...I failed I did fail many a times but then I got up and started again...only...only for him...I am one of those students who are not intelligent but they try try and try...they work hard.... and not telling that they become successful always but they don't fail always either...and see here I am Dr. Purvi Holkar.... people usually feel proud of becoming a doctor but today I am feeling disheartened and suffocated...this abbreviation of doctor is making me feel suffocated.....I don't disrespect doctor neither I am telling it is bad but I am telling that I am not a successful doctor...I will not be able to save lives....I may not love my job as this is not my dream job...I never wanted to become a doctor...I wanted to become a CID OFFICER....yes you heard that right CID OFFICER...I even expressed my desire to them but they were like no you cannot become a CID OFFICER... if asked for reasons they did not had any so ended up answering some nonsense which had no sense no logic nothing.... coming back to reality....I go towards the podium and stand infront of the Mike...my heart beat being as fast a a rajdhani express and sweat continuously coming infront of my eyes blocking my way or rather I should say eyesight...I tried to remove it but my eyes stuck at the hunderd thousand people with their pair of eyes gaping at me as if I was a television... never mind...I ignored them and slided my hand into my pocket took out a white handkerchief and kept with on my forehead....with one swipe I removed all the sweat drops... maybe no I did this for two to three times..."husshh" I sighed and then again put the handkerchief back into the pocket...I adjusted my tie sorry invisible tie...I wasn't wearing any...never mind...I still did it....took a deep breath tried to lower down my heartbeat and then started of with my long speech of 5 mins...5 mins just five mins no not just five mins...maybe five mins be a short span of time but giving your speech for continuously five mins was not an easy task...I was strictly ordered not to move here and there while giving speech....so naturally my legs strained and it started paining... they cried to me Purvi we are tired it's paining, please sit down but how do I explain that I have no place to sit at the whole podium and I was strictly ordered I had to abide by it...well well well after completing my speech I told a thank you... and stepped back...as soon as I perished from the eyesight of audience I rushed to the backstage to find a place to sit....As soon as I got one I seated myself there..."ahh" came out from my mouth... what a relief...I never felt such a relief after sitting.... maybe be not only my legs my heart was also paining...It clinched...I was only thinking one thing how can I end up becoming something I don't desire...but I did I don't know how but I did...I am not happy about it...I remembered that 3 idiots line apne passion ko follow karo...woh karo joh tumhe pasand ho...phir kaam kaam nahi khel lagega...maza aayega karne mein...that line was in the film and remained confined in the dream...I sighed...it did not make any difference in my life...I am astonished by the fact...my life my dreams my job my passion but I don't have the right to choose... society or family has the right to choose...I question myself why...why is it so...I always wanted to work as a CID OFFICER in the CID bureau but now I will not be able to do that...I crushed my dreams I killed my dreams and if a person's dream is killed the person itself dies...I regret...I wished if I could say to my mother that "mom I want to become a CID OFFICER and I will become that"....but I did not...I lacked the courage at that time...I regret in this...my father was there in the audience clapping for me with a smiling face...but but but he would be more happy if I was happy...he would be more happy if I had become what I desired too...oh I forgot to tell I could see my love my love of my life Kavin sitting in the audience clapping for me...he too was very happy...I too expressed my condition to him but he told that "you should become what your father desire"...I am not blaming him or I am telling that I hate him for that...he too was a victim of circumstances and society...I still love him... loving does not mean that our each and every opinion will match it means that atleast we should understand each other what I and Kavin do...he also understood my condition and tried to help me and I appreciate him for that I do...I am regretting on the fact ki kaash agar meine uss din kaha hota ki nahi mein wahi banungi jo mujhe banna hai toh aaj mein iss condition mein na hoti...mein aaj apne parents ko blame nahi karti mere sapno ka gala ghotne ke liye...yes I am telling this because they did...they forced me....they forced me to the level of extremes...I am not happy I am not happy... parents tell ki unki khushi baccho ki khushi mein chupi hoti hai toh agar aaj mein khush nahi hu toh aaj woh kaise kush hai...tell me how...there are people in this world who wants to do job not because to earn money because they love to work...paisa nahi kaam karna hota hai unhe...I know parents want us to be successful but successful does not mean to earn a lot of money...it means to be happy and satisfied...what will happen if I earn less money than others...what will happen if I earn half of what my friends earn...what will happen if I have a small bunglow, a small car... atleast I would do wholeheartedly not with force...With all this i press my eyelids to stop my tears...
