Covenant in the Wilderness

Chapter 14: Be Careful

Nanatiling nakatikom ang sugatan niyang labi, nakatingin lang sa mga mata ko at hindi nagpapakita ng kahit ano man na emosyon. If I were on his shoes, I'll actually do the same. I will keep myself silent thinking that there's nothing to explain, it's just a normal woman asking.

"Alright, you don't need to explain your side. It will never lessen everything," I whispered and just let out a sigh to look away. "I'm not just a person who relies on my instinct and what I see," I added.

Hindi siya ang kalaban ko rito. Yung mga tao na 'yon? Hindi ko rin sila nakikita bilang kalaban. I managed to set my sight on the things I don't see.

"But what does that mean? You're not even eating lunch because of poverty, you got into an incident by just begging for the money to give your mother and your sister's needs," I said. "You don't deserve to be here in this place, to work in dirty rituals like this."

"What... are you trying to say?" He looked at my eyes intensely. "Do you deserve it here? I warned you. Then, why do you keep going to places like this?"

"Because there's a big calling," I answered without any hesitation. "You will not understand it this time, but I was called here. I'm here to save but I'm not the savior."

Mahirap ipaliwanag, alam ko ang dapat gawin, sabihin at dapat isaisip pero ang hirap magpaliwanag. I felt frustrated at first, I wanted to voice out and speak without any hesitation.

I want to shout in the middle of the wilderness that what's happening now isn't right, but that's not the right thing to do. To put them in an instant shame isn't a good way to start. I just want a voice not to shout but to talk calmly.

"So, I'm asking you. Whatever happens, even if you don't know who I really am... trust in me. I'm asking you to put your trust in me."

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako humugot ng lakas ng loob. Mas kilala niya ang mga tao dito at ngayon ay humihingi ako ng tiwala, ako na taong nakilala niya kailan lang. He knows that I have everything against them. Para akong nagtanong sa bagay na alam ko naman na ang sagot.

"Is it hard to trust in you?"

Napaawang ang bibig ko sa sinabi niyang iyon. Napalunok ako at hindi magawang umatras. We remained looking at each other's eyes and it's too breathtaking for someone like me.

He let out a heavy breath. "If I'll ask you to do the same, will you also trust in me?"

"I will," walang alinlangan kong sagot.

I could feel my heart burning because of the fire inside of me. This day, where everything seems frustrating and unexplainable, and the world itself seems like an endless wilderness, we exchanged our trust.

I don't trust people thinking that they're trustworthy or not, I don't trust just to disappoint myself. Kadalasan sa mga tao ay nagbibigay ng tiwala at iniisip iyon na isang malaking sugal sa buhay.

Umatras na ako at tuluyang nag-iwas ng tingin. I came here without carrying anything with me. I don't have the confidence and the will. Talagang hindi ang sarili ko ang inaasahan ko rito.

Napatingin ako sa gawi ng pinto nang marinig ang mahinang pagkatok doon. Akmang ko lalapitan ko na ang pinto nang pigilan ako ni Yandiel. Unti-unti akong napatingin sa kanya dala ng pagtataka at hindi lang siya nagsalita, nakatingin sa direksyon niyon na tila may tinatansya.

"Hmm. What-"

I gasped when he suddenly, but gently pulled my body against the cold wall. My eyes widened and my breathing became irrational, I became nervous for no reason. He swiftly runs his both hands on my waist.