[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[53.] Hunger strikes.

In the next days, Jiang Cheng had to find out that his body was doing whatever it wanted, without taking anything into consideration. He would wake up early in the morning, earlier than Zewu-Jun even, almost howling with unbearable hunger. 

At first he thought that it was energy he needed after the nights of passionate, and long, and exhausting, lovemaking; he tried not to think about whether or not he was with child  –  Wei Wuxian had reminded him of something he had been trying hard to forget ever since Lan Xichen took him for a picnic in the garden and begged him for their first kiss. But now... Now it was all he could think about.

After what turned out to be rather late night (than early morning) breakfasts, the housekeeper got into the habit of leaving some food for him in the kitchen, so that he could go and have a snack no matter what time of the night it was. 

A couple of days ago, he had come to her door, almost fainting with hunger, and she clearly saw that it was not just a whim when he begged her for anything sweet, no matter what, and on his knees at that. All the time, Lan Xichen had been trailing after him, foolishly, totally lost and feeling useless, wondering why he would take a trip to the servants' dorms in the middle of the night without saying a word, and then gaping when he saw him chow down impossible quantities of food, and not without a hearty dinner beforehand either.

And as all this food went down so easily, it came back up again too easily too. After spells of painful hunger, he would spend days in bed, throwing up, unable to bear even the smell of any food at all, losing weight and being too weak to even speak sometimes. 

Lan Huan was going absolutely crazy.

It was an awful rollercoaster, emotionally too, but they were grateful for the good days, although Sandu Shengshou would often feel too dizzy to get out of bed. Zewu-Jun had left the household to his brother, thankful that they had decided to arrive a little earlier than the other guests, and was spending most of his time in the Hánshì  with Jiang Cheng.

- What is happening, Wanyin?  –  he would beg him for an explanation desperately.  –  I cannot bear to see you like this! Please, tell me... Tell me...

- Darling...  -  he would smile at him faintly and caress his face.  –  I wish I knew... My body is not working any more... I am not  having fun either, trust me.

- Should I be calling for a doctor? You haven't been out of bed for days! Should I cancel the stupid celebrations? I regret even starting on those...  -  he frowned, holding his hand and brushing wet strands of hair from his forehead.

- No...no... I promise to get better... There is still time... I promise...  -   Jiang Cheng was promising the improbable, unwilling to make his husband give up even the small joy a celebration might bright him.

- No more birthdays! I swear!  –  Lan Xichen mumbled, kissing his hand gently.  –  It will be just you and me from now on! And now that Wangji is here, he is sulking about stupid things, like politics... and it is not helping!  –  he huffed.

Jiang Wanyin smiled faintly, and mumbled too:

- Ah, my love, it is not since last week that I dislike your brother. He is a stuck-up fool, who is in love with an insane person, and nothing can change my mind.  –  he grinned.

- Oh, kitten!  –  Lan Xichen said gently. – You joke, but I am so worried! You look so thin, A-Cheng, so weak!

- We can fix this easily, Zewu-Jun...  -  Jiang Cheng murmured.  –  Come hold me... It always makes me feel better... Always... -  he said dreamily.

- Wanyin...

Lan Xichen took off his robe quickly and lay in the bed next to his husband. Jiang Cheng cuddled into him immediately, squeezing him mindlessly in a tight embrace. Zewu-Jun smiled, it felt good to be so close to him, always. He gasped when Sandu Shengshou took his hand and placed the warm palm on his belly. He looked down at his face  -  Jiang Cheng's eyelashes were fluttering with pleasure at the touch, and he was smiling too.

- It feels so good... To feel your hands on me... Huan...

- A-Cheng... -  Lan Xichen bit his lip. –  Should I be... preparing... a nursery?

Jiang Cheng blushed deeply, and hid his face in his chest. He could literally hear Zewu-Jun's heart pounding. 

He sighed and murmured softly:

- I think so.  Any pain is worth it  –  for a child of yours, my love... Any risk is worth it... and I will never be sorry... This child is so wanted, so awaited...

- Oh darling...  -  Lan Huan was staring into the large dreamy eyes with love. Lately, Jiang Cheng looked flushed all the time, and his eyes were bright and larger somehow, almost always brimming with easy tears.

Jiang Cheng grabbed his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss. It started slow and tender, but soon they ran out of air again, as they were grabbing each other more and more desperately and the kiss got deeper and faster and more passionate. Lan Xichen vaguely remembered the calendar on the wall of his study.

- No... Wanyin, no...  -  he gasped, trying to escape the firm grip on his body.

- Please... Zewu-Jun... Please husband... We have just a couple more days... please...  -  Jiang Cheng begged.

- Darling, you are still sick... How---

He was interrupted by impatient lips  -  Jiang Cheng had quickly moved on top of him and was kissing him thirstily.

- Get naked... Zewu-Jun... Now.... Please now... Make love to me... I want you, husband... I am so hungry for your touch, Zewu-Jun... Can you feel it? Do you feel it too...?  –  he was whispering hurriedly while his hands were removing Lan Xichen's clothes impatiently.

- Why are you torturing me, Sandu Shengshou... You are driving me crazy, husband... –  Lan Huan was growling.

He was letting himself get undressed, and in turn took all of Jiang Wanyin's clothes off as he was watching him undo his hair, all flushed and craving. By now, Jiang Cheng knew well that there was no better way to get his husband hot and bothered  than letting his hair down  –  he didn't know why, but it worked every time. 

He smiled and stared into his eyes hungrily; both of them were stark naked, panting, yearning for each other. Jiang Cheng's eyes were glazed again, and his voice became lower and thicker with the arousal:

- Do you love me, Zewu-Jun? Do you want me? Will you fuck me...?