Fruit Fly

May 30, 2004

        I have no idea on what is happening with everyone now. I don't understand. I don't know what they want to tell me or do with me or what is wrong with them. These past three weeks' been the worst of all. They've been torturing my mind. As I remember last week, Nikki - my co-librarian, went insane. She told me if I have a problem and I could talk to her. I asked her why did she tell me that and she said I have been talking alone. If I have the opportunity to scream at her face, I'd say, "Are you insane!? Maybe you're hallucinating, you are insane, you are crazy, you have problems and you're a pretender! Never a friend!" So for me, we're not friends anymore. Her grammar is bad either. I don't want to befriend people with bad grammar!

        This day, I went to Kate's workplace as I planned last night to talk to her about what happened yesterday with Lara. I brought her, her favourite, take-out food. We haven't got any conversation since last night 'till this time. When I got there, I am sure it's the right building and right room and right address, I found nothing. No people except for a janitor. I asked him where is Kate Perez or if he know her. He answered me in a rude voice tone that there's no Kate working there. Either workers, or work. The building has been abandoned since last year. I asked the janitor why he's here and he told me he was just maintaining the trash as told by the manager for the next occupant.

        I guess Kate has been lying to me since the beginning. She said I can never trust anyone except her. But now? I can't anymore!

        As I was walking quickly to our home, Ben, the one I saw in the restaurant and my former schoolmate, walks toward my direction. He harshly said that I am so haggard and he even asked if I was okay.

        What!? I AM NOT OKAY! YOU SAID I'M HAGGARD! THIS MONTH HAS GONE CRAZY! I HATE NIKKI! THE JANITOR WAS SO RUDE! EVERYBODY HATES ME! BEN IS INSANE! EVERYONE ARE CRAZY! I HATE EVERYONE! KATE IS A LIAR! I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE NOW! I HOPE EVERYONE DIES! DIE EVERYONE, DIE!

        When I got home, I saw Kate writing in my bedroom. She was so silent, full of rage and crying. Then she climbed up to a chair and hanged. I was so shocked because she seemed like she can't see me. I cried and was hysterical. As I read what she write, it says,

"I AM NOT OKAY! YOU SAID I'M HAGGARD! THIS MONTH HAS GONE CRAZY! I HATE NIKKI! THE JANITOR WAS SO RUDE! EVERYBODY HATES ME! BEN IS INSANE! EVERYONE ARE CRAZY! I HATE EVERYONE! KATE IS A LIAR! I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE NOW! I HOPE EVERYONE DIES! DIE EVERYONE, DIE!"

        I feel my neck itchy and I touch it. I feel a rope surrounding it. I look at it. I am hanging.