The Silence of the Wolf

In that exact moment, the time froze. The chattering nearby, the noise of the people's steps, the sound of the rain pouring outside, all gone. I would never even dare thinking that a single phrase could change my world so much. And yet, I continue to... If we were still friends, your answer would be influenced anyway?

*btzzzz* *btzzzz*
*BUMP*
Reminder for myself, sleep with the window open tonight so I can throw the alarm directly out there. This is "exactly" the best of awakenings, one which lets you start the day greatly, announcing a bright morning and a delightful daytime. Who am I kidding? I have to prepare for the worst. It is even cold today, but this maybe is the only thing that I could actually like. Getting up has become harder (damn the bed sheets for being so comfy), to be with him again sounds both like being in heaven and in hell at the same time. I'm glad that things ended peacefully between us, so quickly that I almost couldn't keep up with my emotions. But certainly that wasn't the ending I was hoping for. The darkness of my house seems less familiar, even in the twilight of my bathroom lighted only by a feeble light. Here the shadows seems blacker than outside... Hey, who's this sleepy beauty here? Who's that black good looking lone wolf there? The usual bastard that has to turn on the fan heater to not catch a cold while getting ready. So, let's see: short messy dark fur? check. Sharp dark green eyes devoided of life? check. Unwanted but typical angry and aggressive resting face? check. Simply, "me". Oh the cloc... SHEESH, I WOKE UP THAT MUCH LATE?!?! NO EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, ONLY GET GOING!

..."class has become so much boring now, don't you think?" this is what I would say, if you responded me properly. Worlds apart between us, but we're still sitting next to each other. I can't comprehend what's on your mind now, you said that our paths would never cross again, and yet you are still here, not with your new best friends but with me. Why are you talking with me? Why are you trying to converse? Chatting almost like before in class and outside you are a completely different person? You are only making me fall deeper and deeper since you rejected our long-lasting friendship, are you trying to make me suffer even more? The embarrassment that I caused you is worth so much payback? Or you can't hide behind your true emotions behind your own pride either? When I see you, I... okay, I don't like males at all but you are different. Your curly fur, big bright green eyes, your silly expression, your slender almost feminine physique, your spots taking my eyes in forbidden places... I can't suffer anymore, I refuse, watching you doing with others everything I dreamt to do with you, spending time together every day, making you smile, outside of this new kind of "attraction" towards you. When we were alone, you and me, just you and me, I felt good like never before. You opened yourself, downed your defenses, I treated you the best I could, but I made a mistake that you didn't forgive me. But I did to me and to you too.
"Hey, can I offer you something at the café?"
"I'm not hungry"
"I insist"
"No"
"Okay, I'll take you a croissant"
"...you don't have to"
"I want to"
"..."
"So... you're coming?"
"..."
"Yeah"

I wouldn't bet a cent that he'd accept any form of invite from me, moreover if it was for spending time only between the two of us, in a lonely place like this. It's unbelievable, at first you either couldn't or didn't want to talk with me, and now we're hanging out together. Absent-minded you often check your phone. Who has taken my place in your life? Who are you waiting to message you? I've seen how you treat others: like you treated me. But you are and continue to learning at your own cost that no one is like me in this world, no one reacts the way I do, no one cares for you like I do. If not now, I can't say when another opportunity might ever happen
"I have to say something to you"
"?"
"...I love you"