Promise: Her story ꨄ

☂︎ ︎Her story ☂︎︎

On March 23rd, a girl was born. Later, she grew taller than the woman who carried her and brought her into this world. Life was difficult. She entered this world with open arms. This was only her beginning. With no walls, she walked. Getting cut from all sides. Her heart shattered. But she loved more than before. She became passionate in everything she did. Became confident in herself. Realized her strength, and pushed past her weaknesses. A month away from the age of 5, a path was chosen. She remembered the lights, and the siren, as she was rushed to the hospital. "Your daughter has type 1 Diabetes." Her parents hearts broke inside their chests. But she brought light. She walked a thin line of life and death times after that. But she fought. Her life in her own hands, every shot she took. Learning to count, little did she know it would be to keep herself standing. Standing tall at the age of 6, she was found venerable. She went through something she couldn't yet understand. Anger built up. She was so young but had such dreams. Those moments she felt stomped on, she clung to her dream. She was so passionate that her feelings became too much. And from 10 to 12, she didn't want to live anymore. "I wish I wasn't born." Life steadily inclined. She didn't know if she could climb any higher. She doubted. She cried. She wanted to give up. She went outside to smell the air. Her feet in the grass. She walked down the prairie and ran up the hill. She didn't walk. She ran. Working hard to get somewhere. She planted, cleaned, cooked, took care of her family, and stood. She made friends. It felt like for the first time in her life wasn't so alone anymore. She knew nothing of how people were. She was used. Talked down. Walked on. She couldn't sleep in her bed. She slept on the couch. Softly crying. "What if i can't be happy... I don't want to be sad... I'm so scared." She wanted to stay. She did. Until enough was enough. She ran away from everyone. 4 months. 4 months and she was back. She laughed. She loved. She gave her best. She went through her first breakup. She gave herself the ability to cry. And she did. Some days were difficult because of her disease. But she kept moving. Heartbreak, after heart break. She came back stronger. When everyone crumbled around her, she stood. She couldn't fall. She hated it. So much. She gave every bit of life she had to the ones she loved. She couldn't help, but she was drained. It wasn't as easy to be okay. "Please. Please let me not be strong. I'm sick of being strong." No matter how much she begged it was no use. She didn't remember what it took to be okay, but eventually she was. And the people around her were too. She expressed how happy she was that they were okay. She would give her life to see them smile. She spent months happy. And then fell back down. She saw how the world was. It was broken. The people were the worst. They said awful things and it wasn't to her. It was to the people she loved more than anything. She got angry. Her anger built up. She was burning herself with her own flame. Nothing helped. She ran. In the snow. In the ice. It was the only thing that could help. She ran so much her foot got injured. She couldn't do the one thing. After time she cooled off. Naturally. But she didn't know how to control herself. Like everyone else, she got angry and lashed out. She hated herself for it. She looked in the mirror and saw someone that made her sick. She could no longer look at herself. Music became her outlet more than anything. She sat. Her fire evaporated her tears. She couldn't cry the same. She hated her image. She didn't eat. She'd drink her hunger away. She was depressed. She was the closest to taking her own life. Just like the world did to her, she cut herself. She became her biggest problem and was stuck. To avoid living with her image, she slept all day. Back up against the door, she listened to music. One day she walked... a few steps closer and she would have taken her life. But a voice. "Keep fighting. It isn't worth it." It wasn't her voice. She felt close to him. She felt safe that she wasn't the only one fighting. And just like that. She felt lighter. In that time she learned to control her fire. She decided, "I'm going to use my strength to help others." In that decision, she met some of the most beautiful people she'd ever seen. She wasn't the only one that did what she did. And all her life she thought she wouldn't find anyone like her. She had hope for everyone. Decided that she wouldn't give up on anyone easily. She finally felt for what happened when she was 6. "How do i deal with this..." Her mind was crumbling. Her heart felt weighed down. Her soul tired. She couldn't help but feel disgusted. One day at work she ran to the bathroom. Her stomach turned. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw. She turned the water on and began scratching the skin on her hands. But she got better. It was easier for her to get inside her mind. She reminded herself she'll be okay. She didn't want to be touched. Or near anyone. She laid in her bed, looking at the ceiling. She replayed a song that felt like it was healing every broken bit, as she pressed play. She's through it. Ninety nine percent. She couldn't have done it without the people she has in her life now. If the feeling i feel daily isn't thankfulness, it's love.
That's my story.

Thank you, mom & dad.
Thank you for the life you gave me.
The strength you started me off with.
The love you showed me.
I'm lucky.

A week later I promised myself to never throw myself away. No matter how hard it get's.

The song is: Butterfly (BTS)
And the voice in my head was Yoongi. ♥︎