Healing Fave

Chapter one

    Tears. I hated them. despised them, they made me look weak and vulnerable. They choked me with a sense of helplessness and made the anger spread over my lungs. I looked up at my father's glazed eyes and replayed him striking me down with the back of his fist while my mother stared with horrified eyes. I tasted the salty, metallic liquid that dripped down the side of my mouth. I didn't need to look down to notice I was bleeding.

  I struggled to shift back, to get away from his angry hands. They found me nevertheless and the back of my head came into contact with the hard wooden floor. I bit my lip to stop the scream. No. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction of seeing me in pain. Not today

   My vision was swirling, my head was spinning and block dots began to appear in my vision. I fought it. I needed to be awake and remain conscious. Mum was going to be next.
 
   I breathed a sigh of relief when my father backed away and began to stagger down the stairs, I still laid across the ground, struggling to breathe, struggling to remain conscious. I heard the car engine swirl to life and it confirmed that my father had driven out. The relief spread through my chest like a pulsating healing balm and then the pain from my head finally kicked in, the tears escaping even when I fought against it.
 
   Mum hurried over to me, struggling to lift me up and burying my face in her chest, her tears falling over my face, body heaving and trembling as she cried. I gave into my sobs as well. 
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   Errita stared at me for a long time over the table, even. As I made such a pathetic effort to lean my head over the table, to hide my swollen eye and my busted lip. She still knew.

" Another door?" She raised an eyebrow, glaring into the head I bent over, silently willing me to return her gaze. I should have been hurt by her sarcasm but I wasn't. I kept taking my fork through the salad that I knew I wasn't going to eat, I reluctantly chewed on a thin strip of cabbage.
 
  " Yes Rii, another door" I coldly replied not bothering to look up at her even though she wanted me to.

" How long are you going to continue like this, how long are you going to keep having accidents with doors!" I clenched my fists and inhaled deeply.

  We both knew we weren't talking about doors and yet I struggled with the tears in my eyes, with the burning sensation in my lungs and the tight feeling that rumbled through my stomach. I finally looked up and her angry expression faded away as she stared painfully at the big bruise that was spreading across my right eye. She sharply inhaled a breath.

" You can't keep going on like this!" She finally bellowed in anger.
I simply shrugged and avoided her gaze again as I chewed on another strip of cabbage. I fought against the nausea and spooned more salad in my mouth. Maybe if I pretended to be engrossed with my lunch, she would drop the conversation. She kept staring, her eyes clouded with emotion. I pretended it didn't hurt me. I fought so hard to fake my emotions these days, at some point, I thought I would almost break.

  "You know I love you right? We love you" her hand covered mine over the table, my hand drifted to the rest of my best friends that were hurrying to join us at the table for lunch.  Kristen shot me a wide smile, Fatima made a funny face in an attempt to make me laugh. I didn't but it did make me smile, the others were simply engaged in conversation. As I was surrounded by my best friends, eating lunch and stealing food from each other plates. I basked in the laughter and clinged unto the little sense of relief that I felt. 

I finally squeezed  Erita's hand back and managed a small smile. Fighting against the tears in my eyes.
" I love you too".