Lidl and Tescos

Lidl and Tesco were the main characters of everyone's lives. Everyone looked up to them and loved them dearly. There were even rumours of them dating at some point. Yet the two of them always had this tense rivalry going on since the day they first met.

Lidl was obviously a strong contender and was never far behind, especially through the eyes of someone like me. Yet i still envied him for how close he was to Tescos.
i was always so jealous of lidl - he was strong and attractive, had way more friends than me, and had a much higher chance of getting with Tescos then i ever would

Tescos was perfect. He had the perfect life, perfect looks, perfect everything. We met when we were younger, and i think after that i just kind of started following him around. For a while, the thought of dating him never even came across my mind, yet when he met Lidl and i saw how well they got along.. i got so mad ! i've been with him for longer, so surely i should be the one to stay by his side. right ?

I mean honestly, Tescos and I would've never really worked out. i was his lackey, i could've never been more even if i tried.
and compared to Lidl? i was nothing.

I mentioned earlier about some rumours going around about them dating.
And sure enough, they became true ! not at the time the rumours were in the air, but some time in the future afterwards, they were the couple of the century, the talk of the town.

At this point, Tescos had just thrown me to the side to spend time with lidl and i... i should've been furious.
except how could i when they're so perfect together ?

I didn't know what to feel. i was depressed, and stressed and angry and just completely overwhelmed with so many negative emotions. i wanted so bad just to be happy for them but i couldn't. I wanted to be happy for my friend for finding someone to love, but i couldn't help but to wish it were me.
was that so bad ?

Ever since they started dating, Tesco and I started growing further and further apart and i just couldn't take it anymore.

why was I spending all this time sulking over someone i know from the start was never and would never be interested in me ? I felt so stupid. So incredibly stupid.
What could i do anyways ?
How could i go back to Tesco's side ?

"Tesco, i have always loved you ! please let me be by your side"

"of course darl, anything for you."

as if ! It isn't going to happen, not in a million trillion billion years. not ever. it's a nice thought though ig.

Lidl and Tesco were together for years, their love for eachother never faultering. And every single year Tesco and I would get further and further apart, yet i could never let go for good.
I was so hung up on this one person, i was never able to move on. i was so ashamed of who i had become, yet i didn't have the energy to go anything other than fantasise about what my life might have been if only i had realised my feelings sooner.

That was until i got a call from Tescos. This was the first time i had directly heard his voice in years.
But.. he was crying?
All these years of him pushing me aside for him to come back to me because he's upset.
I was mad at him, yet i felt the need to hear him out.

"Lidl isn't going to make it much longer"
i will never forget how broken he sounded when he said this.
he was so sad, yet as i heard this i couldn't help but feel elated.
yes, it sounds really bad, but finally the one person who was in my way, will soon be out of the picture.

Not long after, maybe a few months at most, just like Tescos said, Lidl passed away.
I went to the funeral to pay my respects, as a good person would.
And then a fair few months later, i confessed my feelings to Tescos. As expected they weren't returned, but that was that, and i should've been content with just that.

this was the end, this was as far as this story should've gone.
Yet something still felt off, and i couldn't figure out what.

And no, this isn't some big, extravagant and dramatic ending..
simply a question.

Why do I feel guilty ?