✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

14. One Friday Morning

Tess woke up and stretched, slowly getting used to the lack of daylight in the mornings. For the first time she didn't have a moment of wondering where she was on seeing the shocking festival of pinks around her. She still didn't really like the decor, but it was starting to feel like home. She glanced across at her clock, and saw that it wasn't quite as late as she might have expected. Her alarm hadn't even started yet, so she wondered what might have woken her. It took a half second for her to become fully aware of her surroundings before she leapt out of bed and gave an involuntary yell.

"Hell no!"

But there was no time for denial now. For the first time this week, she felt refreshed like she'd had a good night's sleep. No waking up in the middle of the night and dragging herself half-conscious to the bathroom out of some irrational paranoia, just an uninterrupted cruise in dreamland. And for the second time since she'd moved, she was waking up lying in her own pee. This time she was desperate to prevent her cousin from finding out; Gabby had said several times that if she acted like a baby she would be treated like a baby, and Tess had even said it herself once or twice, reinforcing her demand to be treated like a responsible adult while she acted like one. She had no doubt that if Gabby found out she'd wet the bed again, she would see it as a reason to laugh at her. Or even to drag her to see a doctor, or tell her parents.

Tess didn't need that. It was just a fluke, maybe brought on by her constant worrying about it through the week. There was no way that humiliation in front of others would help her, and she was determined to sort this out herself.

She threw her pyjamas onto the bed and bundled them up inside the soaked sheets. Then she added all of her dirty clothes from the week, which had been stacked up in the corner. She didn't clean herself up yet, instead trying to focus on the chores that could make Gabby suspicious.

She threw on clean pyjamas and ran downstairs, pushing the bundle of laundry into the machine. This time it wouldn't be suspicious to see it running, as she'd already said that she intended to make a habit of washing her clothes weekly. It might be a bit weird to change her sheets twice in a week, but she figured Gabby might overlook that one detail if she didn't see Tess loading the machine. She made sure that the bedclothes were the first things into the machine anyway, and the graphic T-shirts she'd been wearing in the evenings were at the front, in case Gabby glanced at the stuff through the machine's door. Waking up early probably meant she would have time to get a shower before breakfast, and maybe even be able to take the clothes out of the machine before she went to school if she understood the settings correctly. It was a long shot, but possible.

Then she started trying to make sense of what had happened. She'd drunk wine again last night, sure. But she was practically an adult, one glass shouldn't have so much effect on her. And it had been only one glass; after what happened the time before, she'd promised herself never to drink too much again. Spike had offered a suggestion as well; a glass of dilute ice tea before bed, to avoid dehydration and make sure that she didn't feel too bad in the morning. It worked for his dad, he had said. He'd meant for a hangover, but Tess figured that it was good advice to follow.

The first time she'd drunk wine with Gabby, she knew she'd had way too much. She'd had a headache in the morning, and the whole world had felt like it was grating on her nerves; she would probably have been moaning about the discomfort, if she hadn't been busy trying to forget about a much more humiliating problem. So since then, she'd been making up a flask of tea each day, and tried to make a habit of drinking it before bed. If it was a daily ritual, she reasoned, then she wasn't likely to forget on the few days when she did touch alcohol.

On Thursday night she'd had a glass of wine with dinner, which Gabby had topped up again when it was half empty. One and a half glasses of low-alcohol wine, which would be equivalent to less than a single glass of the regular kind. There was no way that would make her feel bad, but she had heard by now that students drinking to excess often underestimated how much they had consumed. So she'd declined another glass and fixed herself a hot chocolate while she finished off her homework, before her usual flask of chilled tea before bed. She thought she would have used the bathroom between finishing her drink and bed; that would be the usual routine, and she would have needed to brush her teeth as well. But she couldn't remember now. She had a vague memory of feeling completely drained, so tired that she'd been fighting to keep her eyes open as she typed a 'good night' message to the friends she'd been chatting with, and that was all she remembered.

She needed to fix her sleep cycle then, if that could be what was causing this. She'd been too tired, perhaps because she hadn't slept properly. Now that she knew, she was determined that it wouldn't happen again. She nodded, regaining her confidence, and decided that now was the best time to take her shower. If she stuck to the plan without distractions, then Gabby would have no reason to see her as anything but a conscientious near-adult taking care of her chores.

"You're up early," Gabby's voice startled her so much that she almost yelled again. She'd got carried away with her introspection, trying to analyse every fragment of memory from the day before, while standing around in the kitchen.

Tess mumbled something about wanting to get her chores done before she went to school. Responsible, that was the keyword. That was the face she had to show.

"They don't need me at work until nine," Gabby said with a disinterested shrug. Tess already knew that she worked flexible hours, but Gabby seemed to repeat herself quite often. "...didn't want to be holding you up if the baby girl is in a hurry."

"Hey!" Tess yelled, but she was already accepting that she had failed. Gabby knew exactly what happened; she could see the distinctive print of the duvet cover spinning around in the machine. There could have been all kinds of legitimate reasons she was washing it after only a few days of use, but Gabby didn't ask. She just listened to Tess's verbal explosion, and waited patiently for her turn to respond.

"You said I could call you a baby," Gabby reminded her. Tess already knew; they'd said several times through the week that she would be treated according to how she acted, and she'd always been thinking that was a good thing. She'd even promised that she wouldn't object to being called a baby if she ever wet the bed again. It was the kind of promise that was easy to make when she'd been sure it wouldn't happen, but a lot harder to stick to.

She couldn't think of any valid arguments. She tried to make excuses, to claim that it hadn't happened, but she couldn't even form a sentence that sounded believable. Everything she tried to say, the words turned to ashes in her mouth. She had no excuses, so she just yelled instead. She was practically incoherent, and she knew that as soon as she calmed down she would see just how much she was acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum. But for a few minutes she couldn't stop herself.

Gabby didn't argue. She didn't even call her a baby again, just set about fixing breakfast. She knew that Tess was upset, perhaps, and wasn't sure how to deal with that. Tess promised herself that she would be better in future. Next time she wouldn't take her frustrations out on a cousin who'd only tried to help her. But of course, there wouldn't be a next time. She was sure of that.

She enjoyed breakfast, anyway. And then she had time to take a quick shower before putting on her school uniform. And Gabby dropped her off at the bus stop, just in time to catch her bus to school. Gabby's last words to her were "baby girl", which made her heart sink. But she knew there was no malice there; she'd let the word become some kind of joke between them. And if she could just go back to behaving like an adult, she would never need to hear that joke again.