The essence of a sketch (engl. version)

prologue

  Focus, Isabella, keep your focus.
 The wooden brush in her hand was gliding gently over the canvas in front of her, the crimson dye coming out of its bristles filling in the traces of the sketch she had made, carefully so that no smudging error would occur. The painting process was somewhat difficult for her, as her hands were often shaking — anxiety always caught her off guard. However, even though it was something that required so much concentration, she loved to paint to chase away the bad thoughts and ghosts her past. She stopped handling her brush and stared at the canvas: a dark-haired young woman was staring at her and a broken mask lay in her hand along with a few splatters of blood - it wasn't an extraordinary impressionist painting, but it was something that showed what she felt. And what exactly did she feel? A total farce, she always hid herself behind masks and walls that she build. Hence, she was tired of it, tired of being what people want, what people expect her to be. She didn't even know what she was anymore, she molded herself so much to the expectations and desires of others that it made her bleed. All of this was because she didn't want to let anyone down. Altruism was one of the words that could describe her, as she always thought of the well-being of others even if she had to sacrifice something. While people were being individualistic, here she was - sacrificing her essence because she cared so much about others. The more she acted the way others wished against her will, the more she felt her essence was breaking down. And, in fact, that was what was happening. The flurry of her mind was silenced after she heard her cell phone beep, she dropped her brush into the glass of water that was on top of her mini desk, and took it in her hands. It was a message from Jackson, her boyfriend.

           How about going to the movies today?

She was thoughtful and didn't know if she would be willing to leave at that moment. Sometimes Jackson was a pain in the ass and made her sad, but he was always wanting her attention. She knew what her boyfriend was like: controller, jealous and addicted to games. Unlike him, she was romantic, liked movies clichés, flowers and serenades. She knew every woman was romantic inside, well at least she was, but she pretended not to be because she never got anything that met her expectations. She felt trapped in that relationship, she felt love – that's what she told herself. Was she deceiving herself? She didn't know that. The only thing she really knew was that she didn't understand what it was to really love, nor what love itself was.
   She was thinking for a little time and sent a message accepting the invitation, he read it and sent another message: We can choose when we get there. I'm going to your house now. Bye
As soon as she finished reading the message, she quickly got up to get ready. She looked for an outfit in her wardrobe and decided to wear jeans, an all star, a black blouse and a dark jacket. She looked at the mess in her room and thought about tidying it up, but her boyfriend was going to complain so much in her ear for the delay, so she decided to take a quick shower.After getting out of the shower, she changed into her clothes and lightly applied makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes. She looked at herself in the mirror and was pleased with the result. I'm not a standard girl, but I can afford it. She gave a light laugh. She was a little glad that she was going to go out with him, have a little fun and forget about her problems – but deep down, she knew that one of her biggest problems was him. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her black bag with silver details and put away her documents. She tried quickly to tide her bed, but she heard the doorbell ring.
   — I'm coming! – She yelled at one point so he could hear her. She closed the door to her room and quickly descended the stairs.
   When she opened the door, she found her boyfriend all awkwardly looking for something in his pocket. She was thoughtfully trying to guess what it was, but soon her doubt was over: he took a pair of rings and pressed one into her hand.
   — Here, I bought both of us a dating ring. I hope you like it — He smirked and placed the ring on her finger. Isabella was completely surprised that he showed that he cares about their relationship.Finally, he's being romantic.
   — Let's just say I'm surprised —She studied the ring and adjusted it on her finger, but it didn't quite fit — I think we have a problem here – She laughed trying to leave the ring still on her finger. He got a little embarrassed and looked up.
   — I'll buy another one later, let's go soon so we won't be late — He walked away and she snorted, a little indignant at his indifference. Yeah, it was too good to be true!
   She texted her mother who was going to a movie and called a taxi right away. She looked at the trees in the street and noticed that everything was wet, the weather was completely cloudy and a little chilly – something that was pleasing her that day, at least. As he faced her boyfriend, his black eyes were fixed on her, his expression was a bit spiteful, but she didn't know why.
   — What is bothering you this time? – She asked looking back at him.He raised his eyebrows and looked at the floor.
   — It's just that your clothes are too tight, I think you should change them. It's defining your curves a lot. She rolled her eyes and felt immense fury. How long will he be acting like this?
   — Don't you dare to start with that kind of attitude. You promised you would change – She said sharply. 
   — But you know I'm right. Look at this outfit, Isabella! – He exclaimed.
    As soon as she started talking, the taxi appeared and he quickly got into the car. I can't believe I like an idiot like that! He didn't even wait and closed the car door. She opened the other door and entered. The cold air coming out of the car's interior made her shiver with cold.
   — Good night, follow this address I'm going to tell you. – He said with the calmest voice in the world. It didn't even look like he was a few minutes ago yelling at her in the middle of the street.




   — We've arrived - The voice of the driver made her jump out of her thoughts. She grabbed her wallet right away, but her boyfriend was already handing the money into his hands.He came out the other side and she did the same.
    The smell of buttery popcorn that came from the cinema made Isabella's stomach growl, hunger began to take over her and she placed a hand on her stomach in an attempt to make her stop making noises. Her boyfriend looked at her sideways showing that he heard her.
 — Did you eat something today, Isabella? – He asked in a somewhat aggressive tone. She shrugs and shrugs a little.
   — Yes, I'm just like that because the smell of popcorn pleases me – She lied, taking her focus off him and looking at the cashier. He just nodded and kept silent. The queue was growing longer and longer along with the noise of the voices that echoed in the place. She was getting agitated, as she didn't like crowds or noise – her mind was enough. She decided to watch the man beside her and noticed that he was looking at his cell phone with an expression of joy. When he saw her watching him, his expression hardened. At this gesture, as simple as it was, it hurt his heart. She didn't see the spark in his eyes and didn't feel the love radiate through them. It reminded her of a quote by Edgar Allan Poe "The eyes are the windows to the soul." And at that moment, what she saw in his eyes was just an emptiness, a chalice without its essence, a ghost. Or maybe she was the ghost in his own eyes? The essence that is missing from your chalice that will only be used to be discarded later? Too many questions popped into her mind that made her take her concentration off the world around her.
   — Isabella, the cashier — His voice snapped her out of her own world and she blinked her eyes back together. She excused herself and hurried her steps to the cashier with him. A laugh left his lips and he shook his head.
   —My girlfriend is very slow – He said as he finished laughing. The woman at the cashier laughed along with him. She looked down and felt her cheeks burn – she was embarrassed in her own way. Once they had finished paying, he took her hand and they went to the movie theater.
   —You're kind of quiet. Do you wanna eat something? — he asked, putting his hands in his pockets.
  —Yes, I'm a little hungry. I wanted to eat popcorn, I haven't eaten it for a while.
   She rubbed her stomach and laughed. He rolled his eyes.
   — Stay here waiting for me to buy a snack. I will be back in a moment — She nodded and stayed in a corner where it would not interfere with the passage of people.
   She was trying to restrain herself so as not to think about the way her boyfriend had treated her up to that moment, decided to observe the people around her - until then something caught her eye. Two very attractive girls - one with brown hair and the other had a red ones - were excited and screaming with joy as they watched a man high up, who was trying, in a very flawed way, to hide with the hood of his coat. She kept looking at them in a curious mode. Anyway, she wanted to know what was happening in there that was so exciting to cause this euphoria. The mysterious man made a gesture with his hands and the girls shut up. He then positioned himself next to one of the two and the other girl took a picture of the two. A little famous guy in this quiet town? You've got to be kidding me!  Isabella laughed a little louder than she imagined and the three looked at her at the same time. The two girls arched their eyebrows and the man in the hood observed her in a very strange way. She pretended that nothing happened and hid a lock of her hair behind her ear as usual and turned in another direction pretending to be searching for someone. 
   When the girls left, she tried to analyze the man, but by the time she went to face him, he was already staring at her. He frowned as if he knew her, she was unaware, but felt the feeling that she had seen him somewhere. Who was he?  She could stare at him for hours to try to understand such a reaction, but her boyfriend would think she was flirting with someone - even though he knew she would never do that. She looked away and saw that her boyfriend was behind her, she jumped in fright and gave a slight half-bland laugh.
   — What are you looking at? — He asked, trying to understand why the young woman was so entertained.
   — I was just watching people, no big deal.
   — Oh, so you mean I go out for a few minutes and you're flirting with people around? — His voice was a little more exalted, and he held her hand with agression. 
   — Of course not! Why would I do that? — With a trembling voice, she felt her tears beginning to form. She was afraid of the person who was supposed to be her safe harbor. 
   He snoreanded and looked in the direction she was looking at, but saw nothing too much. He stroked his hand and directed it into the room. The place was half full and he started to get the sullen expression. He shook her hand again showing that he was troubled. 
  — Shit, it's getting too crowded. We'd better go — He complained as he stared at her.
  — But what?! We've just arrived here and you want to go? — She exalted herself and looked at the ground, trying to hide her displeasure. What's on his mind?
   Jackson closed his eyes and, trying to calm himself down, he passed his hand on his forehead. He took a deep breath and took her by her hand, heading for the seats.