I'd been thinking. Was it the way his hair blew in the wind? Was it the way he giggled and looked down when someone called him handsome? Was it his moderating skills that left Epic Mafia speechlessly appreciative? I had no clue. What I did know was this: I was in love with Jackhammer.
I flopped back vigarously onto my barren bed. I really need to wash my sheets. Is that...chocolate? I licked my bed spread slowly. Tasty.
All of a sudden, someone knocked on my door. I sat up quickly, wiping the remains of chocolately goodness from my mouth. "Who is it?"
The door handle turned slightly. "Hi Matthew!" It was him. Basil. Like the leaf. And man, did he look cute as a button. My jaw dropped. I didn't expect him to be here so early. He was supposed to come next week to visit me. Not now. I wish I brushed my teeth.
"Oh, hey, Jackhammer99! What brings you here so early?" I said quietly. I wished I could brush the bangs from out of his eyes and kiss his basil-scented mouth. I stepped back a bit, knowing my breath probably smelled bad. Maybe I should go freshen up.
"Well...I have something to tell you," he said softly. He stepped towards me, and I took a step back. I was speechless. And afraid. I was afraid that somehow, he'd look into my eyes and knew what I felt for him. I was afraid Epic Mafia user Jackhammer99 would know that...I loved him.
I stuttered slightly and turned to my bookshelf, looking for my copy of A Good Man is Hard to Find by Flannery O' Connor. He wanted to borrow it from me. He said so in our Skype logs. Oh, our Skype logs...
[3/29/15 11:18:18 PM] projectmatt: do u like flannery o' connor?
[3/29/15 11:18:30 PM] passthebasil88: she is god
[3/29/15 11:18:32 PM] projectmatt: me too!! wanna borrow a copy of a good man is hard to find?? its a bit beat up since i spilled mustard on it, buts its still gud
[3/29/15 11:18:39 PM] passthebasil88: shure matt
[3/29/15 11:18:40 PM] projectmatt: I like talking to u
[3/29/15 11:19:04 PM] passthebasil88: i like talking to you too PUNK
I hoped he'd meant "like" as...more than friends. I picked the book up off the shelf and turned to him. And then it happened.
He was inches away from me, his breath on my face. He slowly licked my mouth seductively and I mooed. He purred and pulled my hair. I threw the book on the floor and took my shirt off, throwing it to the side as well. He leaned down and took a wiff. "Smells like balls," he raised his eyebrows. "I like it."
I pushed him away, in shock. "Was that a...a Birdman reference?" I blinked obliviously. Did this man just interrupt our love making session to reference a movie that didn't even deserve to win an Oscar?
Basil coughed. "Yes. I like Birdman. And balls."
"Oh, alright. That makes sense." I pulled myself together and looked at him. "Sorry."
"It's ok, pal." He was smiling, so I continued smooching his face. Smooch, smooch, smooch!
MOOOOOOOOOO
