all of my life

I just finished my painting when the rain was falling. I breathed deeply, knowing that I couldn't pick her up. Last week, not so long after I came here, we had a promise to meet each other if we both have spare time. But, unfortunately.. it's raining. Seems like, the universe didn't let us meet each other, not this time.

She told me the forecast of Jakarta, it said that a downpour will come, but I only laughed at that time. I told her, "I'll bring father's car. You don't need to be worried." But again, unfortunately, father went to his office by car.

I picked my phone and searched for her name. Not so long after that, she picked it up, with her soft voice, saying hello. "Hi.. it's raining."

Before I could say that it was raining, she already said that. I was upset, to myself.

"Hey," i lowered my voice. "I'm sorry. It's downpour here. I.. I guess I couldn't pick you up.. my father drove by car this morning. Sorry.."

She giggled, thus made me confused at her. I scratched my head, with my right hand that was still full of paints. "Why were you laughing? Is there something funny here?"

I wasn't mad at her, of course I won't. I was just confused. And, she didn't answer. "Hey?"

"Hmm?" she said. "I just left my phone, Kev hehe. I took a juice. It's been four days since the last time I drank it. Is it still.. edible?"

The table turned. Now, I was the one who laughed. "Don't drink it. It already had poison in it."

"For real?!" she screamed her lungs out and I kept my phone away from my ears. I actually didn't know if it was edible or not. I was just said it spontaneously.

But then, in just one second, the atmosphere between us changed. I suddenly over think, like the past days. It was always me, one that made a mistake, though I knew it wasn't mine, it was the universe that changed, it was the universe that suddenly made the downpour came.

But.. was it really about the downpour? Or.. was it me and my over thinker mind?

"Did something happen, Kev?" she asked.

I nodded, then shook my head. I breathed deeply again and I knew she heard about that. But, all I could say is, "I'm fine. I just felt really sorry to you, I ruined our promise."

"What? Kev, no.. it wasn't your fault, sweetheart. That's okay, we can go out another time. Okay? Don't worry." she said, again, with her soft and calming voice.

It was always her, one who would hug me when I'm tired, one whose shoulder always ready to be leaned on. She was an angel that greeted me for the first time, when I couldn't even say a word at that time. She's.. everything to me.

"Turn on your camera, Kev, I wanna see your smile," she said. It written "your friend has started a video call" on my phone screen. Ah, I wasn’t ready. It’s just too painful to see her smile at the moment, when I believed that I was the weak one here. I supposed to be her hero, but.. it was always her who comforted me.

"Kevin, it's just a rain. It's not your fault," she said, once again, assuring that it was really not my fault, not at all.

I smiled and nodded my head. "Wait, I'll take my painting. Do you wanna see?"

She nodded this time and waved her tiny hand. "Can you see my face clearly, Kev?"

"Pretty," i said, wholeheartedly. I could see that she blushed and it's cute. "Wait a second, I'm going to take my painting with me."

"Wash your hand first.. it's still full of paint, Kev," she said, while laughing cutely.

I nodded. "I will. But, wait! I— I have so many things to be shown to you, wait wait.. I guess I put it in here.. where was it?!"