SOLO

There was a girl named Santoshi Roy who was going through her teen years. From her childhood she was treated like a princess but in school she was often bullied by mental torcher. One day she had a big crush on her classmate, who was her deskmate in the last session. Having her first lo ve wasn't a sin but falling for him too deeply was actually a fault. She saw all the good things of him asiding the bad thing. The name of her first love was Spirit Tiwari.
Spirit was a Popular guy in school, who was a champion in racing and football. Also, he had many girls on campus crushing over him. He is fair-skinned, for which he is too much obsessed of. Yes, he is a racist. The type of people Santoshi hates the most. But before she could realise about it, she already fell deeply for him blindly. Sometimes he would too buly her calling her    "fatty"   ,  "browny" . While he completely knew about her feelings towards him. She ignored those in the first go, but when the things went from "sometimes" to "on a regular basis" and also from "jokingly to "extreme" .  She would often cry secretly in her room or either in a washroom. Sometimes, she would cry on little things to become light. She would always curse herself for her looks. She hated herself and was declining her mental health day by day while being normal like usual and keeping a smile on her face. But being a gobbet she would never realise what mistake was she doing and continued chasing him. It was like automatic to her. Thinking about him everyday, From childhood, she was really hesitant and always do the things thinking how others will think. Sometimes, she can't even do the things she want. She was taught like that from childhood and it became her habit too. But this time, she didn't thought of anything and chased him. wanting to talk with him or spend a few more seconds with him. But one day, she really spoke out asking why he is acting so rude towards her. He replied her saying she is too much unhygenic and too much unhealthy. To talk about hygiene, it was completely a lie. At that time she didn't understood why he said that. But about healthy and unhealthy it was true that she became too unhealty that even while walking or running she felt weight. That day, she took a challenge that she'll show him, what she can do and what she cannot. She made herself not eat any oily food which is bad for her health and she would run and practice dance. On a span of few months, she really became healthy. Her skin would glow like gold on the same natural brown color. She was healthy but not skinny. Though, she hated herself like that but she had a high level of self-respect that didn't let her change herself even if she hates it. It was more than 2years since she fell for him. But just after their finals, Cov!d 19 also spread in their country and quarintine started. Schools and colleges were closed due to the pandemic. She was quite at peace not getting bullied from her crush nor from the popular girls. But she actually started missing her friends more then her crush. Her friends included her girls as well as guys. But she still hated herself each time she looked in the mirror. In these 2 years nobody got a single idea about what was happening to her nor she was aware of that. But she could understand it few times. 6 more months went by like that. One day, she discovered a speech video by BTS, on the channel UNICEF. All she would know about BTS was that it's a South Korean boyband and she heard their songs and saw a few scenes from their MVs, cause her elder cousin was their fan. She watched the whole speech video and it was really motivating for her. It got her tears in her eyes by getting the comfort she needed in these years. After watching the speech, she went directly in the youtube channel "BTS". She watched their music videos, read the english translated lyrics from google if the subtitles were disabled. She really felt like home in their songs. It was so comfort and motivate to her. She actually started to love herself as the days went. She wanted to know more about them as she went on researching, she got herself dicovered few skills that she never knew she had. She even got inspired that it can also be possible becoming a singer, which was her childhood dream but she left dreaming about it as people used to say that, "Singers should be born with talent for succeeding" but her idols were a live example that they were wrong. 1 year passed by, Quarintine was still going on. It would be a complete lie If I say, she totally forgot about her crush back in school. She would shed tears everytime she woke up after seeing him in her dreams randomly. Not only about these for more then 6 months, she had to go through a nightmare, 2021 was her biggest nightmare. Though, she experienced these on the verge of her gowing up but this time it was too much. At those times, she listened to those comforting songs so much that she could even say the meaning of songs. She went on a trauma during that and upon that she went on thinking she's not enough. Her trauma was so deep that it took more months for her to heal. As time passed by, she healed with the love given by her Sisters, her brother, her closest friend and other family members. To be honest, her 7 angels cured her childhood phobias and another phobia which she dicovered before. And she also moved on from her that guy. While, she became savage who could make stupid people piss of.