It's been a whole year now, the story of my trauma. Of an ex-lover who didn't deserve the love I gave. So I gave all that love to myself, but said no to the only one who I truly cared for. He still talks to me yeah, just not the way it should've been a year ago. I can't help but find myself still having feelings for him. when he confessed he loved me a year ago after my trauma, and yet I reject the thought. The thought of loving you even though I know I did. You deserve better than me but I can't help but crave you. You did everything for me in that moment and I was oblivious. I wished I loved you sooner, I wish I noticed. I wish you loved me now. Right now in this given moment. I wish we could go back to the flirting and the giggles and your funny jokes. I wish you knew i still care. I always will. Even if I did decline you. I wouldn't say it's love now, but there is still a spark there. You still set a flame in my heart. The only shine I ever needed. My best friend and the guy I will always care for. You are him; he is you. I just want to hear you feel the same, you still care for me as I do for you. It doesn't even have to be love, just a care in the world. Just know at least one person in this world has feelings for you, feelings they know they shouldn't have. But can't help feeling for someone with such an amazing heart. I hope you're doing well and I hope you know I will always care. Can you be my lover boy or is this a waste of a breath? -Ms♡︎
