lena's pov
Summer's over.
I guess it was time, this summer was so long. The only thing I did was go to the amusement park with Viv and Maia. Speaking of Viv, oh viv, how exited I am to see you.
God, I sound like Joe Goldberg. No, I'm not a crazy stalker.
I'm just exited to see Viv. It's been two weeks since I told her I have feelings for her.
-two weeks ago-
maia🤍
maia🤍: Well girl, life is short. Go ahead and we are all going to die so you will regret it. Maybe if things didn't turn good at the end, at least you have the memories.
lena: I'm scared dude. What if she doesn't feel the same? And things become awkward between us?
maia🤍: Try bish, don't be scared
lena: But... But... idk what to say. Or do.
maia🤍: Ponte los ovarios que tienes y no sea miedosa (put on the ovaries you have and don't be a scaredy cat)
lena: I'm scared of putting something else on her plate, you know everything that's happening.
maia🤍: Solo te digo que(I'll only say that), chances don't stay long. Even if you feel awkward, at least you tried. Y sacaste eso de tu pecho, y se lo contaste, tienes las bolas de buscarla. (and you pour everything out of your chest, and you told her, you have the balls to look for her).
lena: You know what? Fuck it, I'm me. I make bad decisions everyday and impulsive ones, so why not this one?
maia🤍: Go girl.
lena: tf am I supposed to say? can I write her a poem like, "Roses are red. Violets are blue.Guess what? I have a crush on you!" That's cool right?
maia🤍: Tf, bish, you so dumb.
lena: what? why? tf am i supposed to say? its nice and creative.
maia🤍: Not like that bish, bish you dumb. That's like primary. You have the brain of a child. Just be honest, with your feelings.
lena: okok, i will.
viv❣️
lena: heyyy viv
viv❣️:Yupe?
lena: what's up? How's that thing going?
viv❣️: My mom's so stressed, and I don't know how to help her
lena: I'm sure whatever you do, you'll try your best to help her.
viv❣️: yeah, anyway, let's get back to the main point.
lena: what?
viv❣️: you were looking for me for something?
lena: ok, so, umm
so basically, i just wanted to get this off my chest and its probably bad timing but tf do i know about good timing? anyway, since around 9th grade i knew that i had some feelings toward you but i knew it would be a very low chance of anything happening bc at the time you were hung up on Mark and then Elisa. so i just decided to keep quiet and after a while, i got with Luca and we all know how that went. anyway, i honeslty dont know where it came from, i guess it was just always there and recently idk why but recently it's more the usual and i just wanted to get this off my chest.
viv❣️:So... You liked me? Or you like me? Present or past tense?
lena: present tense...
viv❣️: Are you nervous?
lena: What? No
lena: yeah a little.
viv❣️: Wait, I'm brushing my teeth.
viv❣️:Ok, so, being curious, how? Well, I am not that much of a likable person beyond friendship. So I am just curious about how you ended up with feelings?
lena: are you kidding? You're great
viv❣️:Great for friends. Me being in a relationship is a whole other thing, dude. But anyways, out my self-degrading thing cuz I know that shit is bad. You know? I was just watching videos of tik toks related to kinks, and then I checked your messages and left me dumbfounded. You know the straight face I have when I read sexual things and that? You just my straight expression flew away by that. I needed to rush to the bathroom to brush my teeth just to avoid my mom asking me what happened.
viv❣️:Ok, now, the last, and most important question. What do you expect to happen? Like, You want this to go to more, or just stay like that as friends? Cuz right now my hands are shaking as fuck.
lena: Honestly, I think that that's up to you know.
viv❣️: So, you remember when we talked to Rowley and that? And he thinking of us being together? It took me by surprise, but then I thought about it. I would keep quiet just to think about that possibility, but not really mentioning it since, well, we treat each other as buddies and that. But I always thought of that. And, well, I don't know, always thought about that possibility, but turning it down just because you were with Luca? So... In conclusion, I might have kind of attraction towards you, but still needs to be developed. And if you are really down to it, we could start slowly, you know?
lena:ok, hahaha.
viv❣️: Although, I am scared of your mom. "NO LESBIANISM"
lena: hahahah, yeah. don't worry, she's in Guatemala, she won't know anything.
-present-
I honestly can't wait to see you. I just hope things won't be awkward. But I feel like it will be a little bit awkward because you won't know how to act around me. I just want to to act like yourself, and I hope you will.
See you soon Viv.
-August 29-
Holy shit. Tomorrow is finally the day. Viv is in school now, and she'll be catching up with everyone in the dorm. I should have stayed in the dorm, my dad let me, but if the fucking no phone rule.
I wonder who she's talking to. I'm pretty sure she's talking to the Koreans. Wait, the Koreans.
I mean, Tori and Caroline are ok, I guess my main worry is her seeing Elisa.
No, I can't think like this. We aren't even together yet. I can't be jealous, right?
She did have a thing for Elisa and Elisa is Vic's type. But i guess me and Viv have something now, so why would I be worried about her and her feelings towards Elisa.
I just need a good night sleep and all this will go away.
