lost in my mind

The best way to keep your heart from getting broken .... is to pretend you don't have one. I learned that the hard way, I don't belive in love I mean why should I ? I've been skrewed over so many times and im tired of it so I just shut people out, its easier.  

I live alone with my mother, well..... I live alone. she's never around my mother is always at party's and bringing home men and getting drunk. In the short moments that she was sober she was depressed and empty, so at a young age I learned to take care of myself, I didn't need her.all she did was leave me. 

I sat alone on my air matress I looked at my phone, it was 4:30 am I couldn't sleep as usual troubled by night mares. I never slept anymore. I laid back down and stared out my window and tried to hold on to what ever sanity I had left. the moon was out tonight, the stars dotted the sky it was beautiful and calming.  

I started thinking about my mother. she was beautiful, she had long brown hair and hazel eyes with freckles scattered around her nose and cheeks, she looked young. too bad she wasted her time with random guys that she met at party's.I hated her for everything she put me through. 

I slowly dosed off into sleep that only lasted an hour before I had to get up to go to school. I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror my long brown hair that closely resembled my mothers was a tangled mess and my green eyes where still foggy with sleep. I brushed my hair, put on some jeans and a T-shirt with a Beanie then left for school. just before I got the the door. 

I heard a hoarse voice call my name "terra?" great. mom was up. "yes?" I said quietly "why are you leaving?" "I have to go to school mom." "why even bother going to school? your a worthless nothing and nobody loves you" she started giggling. "your drunk" I told her in a shaky voice, and I ran out before she could say anything else. I got into my car and drove to hell...... I mean school.  

I grabbed my bag out of the passengers seat and when I turned around I accidently ran into someone and fell. "oops im sorry" I didnt look up to see who it was because I was too embarrassed. "no im sorry" a male voice said, he helped me get up "sorry im so.. so.." I stumbled over my words. I looked at the boy, and he had black kind of spiked up hair (like Taylor lautner) and sea green eyes. he was wearing jeans and a black T-shirt that was snug so I could see the outline of his muscles, "no it was my fault" he grinned at me and I blushed. 

"im Max" he stuck his hand out "terra" I stated as I shook his hand, his touch left my hand tingling. "No" I thought to myself "you are not going down this road" "what class are you going to?" he asked me "English" "me too" he seemed genuinely pleased we had class togeather. "do you.... ummm mabey want to walk togeather ....? " he asked me "umm yeah sure" suddenly I heard my name "TERRA!" the voices belonged to my best friends Bella and Felix. 

Bella had brown wavy hair and brown eyes, while Felix had brown hair and dark blue eyes. "yeah what's up guys?" "who's this?" Bella asked "this is Max" Felix raised his eyebrow with a smirk on his face "well bells I think we should leave" Felix looked at Bella and winked and she giggled and looked at me and Max and gave me that "what's going on" face. "haha" I said sarcastically. Felix chuckled "we'll see you at lunch" Felix grabbed Bella's hand and walked off.  

I looked over at Max who was already looking at me, I blushed. his eyes where so beautiful "we're gonna be late" I prodded. I took my usual seat in the back and he sat next to me wich made me slightly uncomfortable, I was used to being 

isolated and I like being alone so I could get lost in my thoughts and not have to worry about anyone else.  

our teacher assigned us a few pages in our text book so naturally everyone was talking. "hey terra?" "yes?" "I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party tonight?" I thought about it for a second "sure" "alright can I pick you up at 8:00 ?" at that second a hundred thoughts raced through me. what if my mom is home? "ill just meet you there" "alright" he said. I turned my attention back to my book. before I knew it the day was over. I hadn't seen Max the rest of the day ..... not that I looked for him. im just saying.