I count at least three times before I'm about to actually approach Talise. Each time, I stare at the back of her head, make a few steps forward, and then retreat because I'm not quite certain what to say. She stands with her arms crossed over the small balcony. I'm not quite certain what she finds attractive about the view considering it's mostly dying grass. The hairs sticking out of her scarf blow behind her in the wind.
I clear my throat. If Talise knows I'm out here, it will force me to talk to her. Talise turns around slowly. She looks down at the glass of wine in my hand then back up at me. "Is that for me?" she asks in small voice.
"Yours if you want it," I shrug. "I should probably limit my intake." I don't think all the wine in the world would stop my nerves right now.
I come to stand next to Talise on the balcony. It isn't as sweltering as it normally is, but beads of sweat have formed on her forehead already. The dark circles that have been under her eyes for the past week haven't budged. I'm sure the worry over Arman must be keeping her awake. I feel terrible that it's all my fault.
"Third times a charm, I suppose," Talise says flatly. "I was wondering how may times I'd hear you approach and return before you decided to speak to me." She looks me up and down, and it feels as if she's staring right into me.
"Oh," I mutter uncomfortably. "I just wasn't sure if you wanted to be disturbed."
"After being left in a castle on my own for so long, and being told I can't write to my father, a disturbance is welcome." The loneliness in Talise's eyes is evident.
"I apologize," I say. "But I promise, it's for the best. Arman-"
"I don't need you to preach to me about it again," Talise sighs. She twists a ring around her finger. "How I worry about him. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that anything could happen to him, and I'll never have gotten the chance to speak to him again." Talise wipes her eyes gingerly with her scarf.
I hand Talise my wine glass. She looks like she needs it. It might soften the blow of the news I'm about to give her. "I won't let anything happen to him," I say to Talise. My voice shakes the slightest bit.
"You're here because you can't even protect yourself," Talise says quietly. The gentle tone in her voice suggests her words aren't meant to hurt me , but are just another extension of her hopelessness.
She might be absolutely correct, but I at least have a better chance than she does. "Maybe not. But I can try. Talise, I have something to tell you." I feel as if I'm going to pass out on the spot from nerves. My face boils hot and it suddenly feels like there are a thousand more suns on me.
Talise raises her thick eyebrows. "Aros, nothing you've ever had to tell me has been good," she reminds me.
"Well, this news is up to your interpretation," I say slowly. "But I want you to know, truly, I've considered you a dear friend. However you want to think of me, just know I did what I thought was best. You have every right to hate me-"
"You're frightening me," Talise says. She turns to face me, a confused expression on her face. "What are you saying?"
I'm not sure yet. I should have rehearsed this more on the ride home. Or when I was changing. I simply didn't want to think about it because the thought of telling Talise the truth makes me sick. I take another deep breath and fear I might choke. "I'm... I'm saying you're only meant to be the princess because the true princess is dead."
"I'm aware," Talise says shortly. The amusement on her face says if she wasn't so worried, she'd laugh.
"But if she weren't dead, then she could take back her throne. You wouldn't need to be princess. Especially since that isn't what you want."
YOU ARE READING
Anti Heiress
RomancePrincess Sarina has no desire to become Queen of Ilythia. After an assassination attempt, she fakes her death and escapes with one of her ladies-in-waiting. Just when she and her lover think the royal life is in the past, the new princess is forced...