Nadie Necesita Saberlo (Nobody needs to know)

Something wicked this way comes

When the party's over (cover) by James Blake

Just as I found myself tiptoeing towards REM sleep, I heard an inhalation of air and a quick shaking of our outdoor bed. I shot up myself and turned to Lin, who was rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. I looked at him with care and concern.
"What is it?" I asked, placing a hand on his bicep.
"I fell asleep," he said, checking the time on his phone.
"Yes....yes you did. As did I. Is that not ok?"
"Yeah I just-I lost track of time...it's 2 in the morning...I...I have a bit of a day tomorrow. I should go."
"Yeah, Of course." I said understandingly. But as he quickly stepped into his shoes and threw his jacket under his forearm, I felt confusion creeping up like a thief in the night.
I wrapped myself in the blanket and sat on the edge of the swing. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"Do you need a ride?"
He gave an enthusiastic "No!" but immediately caught himself.
"I can find my way back."
"It's dangerous-"
He silenced me with a genuine kiss that assuaged my worry.
"It's ok. I'm from Washington Heights. I can handle it. I promise I'll text when I get back to the hotel. Good night. And thank you."
I watched him disappear into the mist and listened until his footsteps faded. Only the sound of crickets and far off police sirens remained. I sat with what I felt, though I had only wanted to focus on the lively remnants of the explosions in my body that were still alight. I felt them fade to ashes. Was falling asleep with me too much for him? Did we cross a line? I recalled a line from one of my favorite novels, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, though I didn't know just how it showed up in my mind...
"Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman)."

Surely not. Surely he didn't feel the need to disconnect. He'd be back. I should go to sleep alone and be thankful for the time he's just spent alone with me, giving of himself to me, and returning favor right back.
I collected the flowers, my phone, my discarded clothing. I put the blooms in a vase and threw my clothes at the base of the stairs. They could be dealt with later. I climbed to my room and discarded the blanket that stood between me and nakedness. I hit my bed and threw my phone to the side. I didn't want to hear it, or see it. I only wanted sleep.
Lo vas a Olvidar by Billie Eilish and Roasalia

6:37 a.m.
Lin: " Please understand, Secreta, that I want you. I want you fully and often. I'm sorry I ran. I can't begin to describe it to you, but I'm here. I'm here and I'm here again for more of you. Please answer me. I'll make it up to you."
I read it over and over. Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit neuf... Nine times and surely it would be clearer through my weary eyes. My eyes that connected to my brain that ran zigzag to my heart. I cut off the connection to keep my heart out of it.
"I'm here." I texted back.
"Good. I worried you'd run."
"If only I could."
"When can I see you again?"
"That depends on when you can see me again."
"Tonight. As soon as I'm done. It won't be late."
"Come back to my house?"
"Yes. Yes of course. If only we could go out...I would love to see more of your city...."
"There may be a way..."
I thought of the invitation. A costume ball. No one would know. Could it work?
"I trust you."
"I'll be in touch."
I grabbed my robe and ran downstairs. I noticed the invitation from Magda beside the flowers he'd brought to me only hours before.
I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text.

-I'm coming to the ball. Need your help.
-I come. You going  alone or....?
-Or....?
-Ah yes, Mr M. I remember. I see you this evening, friend.