Dance Through Trauma

November 24, 2021

So much has happened like my new short haircut and my completion with therapy thanks to an amazing therapist named Nikki that I will miss so much, but I want to jump right into what my mother's boyfriend has been doing lately. He's been accusing my mom and I of making Facebook accounts about him online and said that I also made an Instagram account, and posted pictures about him on my turtle's account, when that isn't even true. He's been taking us out to places like the Chinese restaurant, so I thought that he was back to being peaceful, but I was wrong. Today, he set up two cameras in the house to spy on my mother for what reason? There is no reason to have cameras in the house because a house robbery is very rare in this town, plus we've never been robbed. He's obviously doing this to record my mother and keep an eye on her to make sure that she isn't going out with another man, or to record an argument of theirs to make her look crazy. From what I've heard with my own ears, he only asks my mom about why she is mad about a camera, but like who wouldn't be angry at someone like him? Knowing what he is like, we already know the cameras are there because of his controlling behavior. While my mom told him about how creepy it was to have the cameras installed in the house (one in the living room, and one in their bedroom). Ovidio only responded to her calmly and barely showed any aggression. He did it to make my mother look like a crazy woman while he is a calm, innocent man. This man is seriously scary, and I have a feeling that he will one day take our lives away. I really wanted him to improve and be a better man for my mother and siblings, but he continues to fail everyone. He is a broken computer that can not be fixed. If we don't leave soon, then he will commit something that we've been denying for so long. My mother plans on moving out tomorrow, but I'm not sure how that's going to work with so many kids. It can feel like there's no happy ending here, but I'll wait and see what will happen. When I think about having my life taken away, it's not death that I fear. I'm just afraid that my father will be in trouble if I pass away so soon because he's lost three family members in the last few years. His mother, father, and brother are all gone. Now imagine his eldest son. I don't want him to suffer, but if I leave this world, then I only want to be remembered from what I've created, like my photography and writings. I wish I could've been a singer, and that's a plan of mine in the future, but if that doesn't happen, then I just want whatever I've created to be remembered. I don't want my father to duel on my death. This situation was something that I couldn't control. My greatest wish would be for the world to provide free or affordable mental health services to everyone because that will better humanity. Mental health care should be mandatory or something for children like every child should be checked upon to make sure that they aren't growing up into an evil person. I want as many people in the world to be good people. It's time for humans to learn that all their bad deeds do nothing but destroy themselves and others.

- November 24, 2021