Be My Mistake ( Enhypen Jake ff)

1

Shenei's POV

"Hey, Shen!" Someone called me and when I turned around, it was jake who shouted my name. Gosh, why is he here again? How many times do I have to tell him to stop bothering me?

"What?" I asked and raised my right eyebrow, he smiled widely that making me think that he is crazy. "Tara, let's have lunch. Libre ko na." No thanks." saad ko at akmang aalis na sana pero he suddenly holds my hand. I looked at our hands, then at him, and said "Bitaw." Umiling siya. 

Argh. "Jake, ano ba? I said ayoko nga di'ba? Just ask someone else who will go with you. Your friends. Ask them, I don't have time for this. Please, let go of my hand habang hindi pa ako nagagalit." Dahil sa sinabi kong iyon, he slowly let go of my hand. 

"I'm sorry. I just wanna spend some time with you." I feel guilty about what I have said, but, I don't want him to give a false alarm that I like him too.

Hindi na lang ako umimik pa ulit at lumakad na palayo sa kaniya. I didn't even look back at him, I know he's waiting for me to look at him. We should just stay as friends, that would be nice for both of us.

Alam niyang may gusto akong iba pero that doesn't stop him to make me feel that I'm special to him. Hindi ko naman gustong saktan siya, it's just that I don't really like him, yes, he's handsome, kind, I really think that he is one of the sweetest people I've known. 

Even though the one I like is one of his friends, hindi siya nagalit. Though, wala naman siyang karapatan magalit? We were close back then, he suddenly confessed to him. Awkward, that's why napagdesisyonan ko na lumayo.

Baka sa ganoong paraan, mawala yung pagtingin niya sa akin. Hindi niya kilala kung sino sa kaibigan niya ang gusto ko, ayoko sabihin. I don't want to hurt him.

I remember what happened that day when he confessed his feelings to me. Nagulat ako, hindi ko alam na ganoon. He said he is willing to do everything just to prove that he loves me. I don't want him to do that, he will just get hurt. 

Masyado siyang mabait para masaktan ko pero alam ko sa ginagawa kong ito nasasaktan na siya. Mas masasaktan naman siya kung lagi ko siya pagbibigyan, paano kung umasa siya? Ayoko naman humantong sa ganon na umaasa siya na baka pwede kami when in fact hindi talaga pwede.

Am I bad for making him feel this way? 

"Shenei, anong ginagawa mo diyan?" That question made me realize that I was spacing out. I've been thinking yung nangyari kanina. 

"Huh? Ah, wala." I said and laughed awkwardly. Hindi ko napansin na papunta na akong men's restroom. Wth? Pinukpok ko yung ulo ko gamit ang aking kamay at sinabunutan ang sarili. Nababaliw na ako.

"Huy, ayos ka lang ba? Bakit mo sinasabunutan sarili mo?" Sunoo asked, he was the one who asked me kanina rin. 

"Sunoo, masama ba akong tao?" Bigla kong tanong sa kaniya at humarap sa kaniya. Nagtataka siyang nakatingin sa akin. "Huh? Bakit mo natanong? Pero oo masama kang tao." He said then laughed loudly. 

Agad ko siyang binatukan. "Seryoso kasi!" Bulaslas ko. Napakamot naman siya sa kaniyang batok. "Nagbibiro lang naman, bakit mo naman ako binatukan?!" He exclaimed while his right hand is still on his nape. 

"Bakit mo naman natanong 'yun?" Tanong niya. "Dahil ba kay Jake?" He added. I nodded as we continue to walk again. "Hmm, you're not a bad person, Shenei. Hindi mo siya gusto, that's okay. Pero yung pagtrato mo sa kaniya? Hindi okay 'yun. He has feelings too, nasasaktan siya. I know you like someone else and it's not Jake. I know whom you like, si Jungwon. Tama ako di'ba?" Hindi ako makapagsalita sa sinabi ni Sunoo, tama siya na 'di okay yung pagtrato ko kay Jake ever since na umamin siya sa akin. And he really knows me, he knows kung sino gusto ko. I didn't even tell it to him.

"Hindi ko alam kung paano siya tratuhin knowing that he has feelings for me. I always think na baka mas lalo siyang masaktan if pumapayag ako sa mga gusto niyang gawin namin dalawa, like yung mga lunch date mga ganon. Ayoko lang umasa siya sa akin, I've done enough. Alam mo naman 'yun right?" I said. 

"Nakapagusap na ba kayo ni Jake about that?" He asked and I shook my head. Hindi pa namin napaguusapan yung about doon.

"Mas magandan na magusap kayo for him na malinawan siya." Saad niya at tumigil sa paglalakad. He patted my head and smiled. "Dalaga ka na Shenei. Parang dati namomoblema ka lang sa mga laruan sa mcdo noon, ngayon love life na. Ibang klase talaga, sana all." And lauged. I jokingly punched his right arm, and he jokingly acted hurt. 

He really indeed my best friend, Sunoo.