The colors of spring and winter

Last chapter

Quarantine
To be in a state of isolation to avoid the spread of illness.

The busy world we all live in was pushed into silence,
Illness spread, people became sick, people died.
We were forced into our homes for weeks,
Left with ourselves and our families,
I never felt close to others,
At least not all that often,
But this was true isolation.
It couldn't have been all that bad,
But still my brain pushed the memories away.
I know it for the best,
But I wonder how many lives those two weeks ruined.
The lives lost, the struggles that came to light,
Two weeks turned into two years,
And as much as i will never understanding not taking precautions
I know humans are not meant to be far away from each other.

Queer
Not straight and/or cisgender.

In the beginning I was not hesitant to label what was there,
But as time goes on my thoughts have changed,
Because why should I label who I love?
Why should I put restriction to whom I wish to hold hands with,
Or have one single word to describe who means the most to me?

Query
A question most often to an organization or authority.

If god is real I have many questions for him,
I wonder why he allowed so many bad things to happen to good people,
So many criminals to walk free,
And why some of the kindness people I have ever met have been through the most pain.
I'll ask him why things ended up the way they did,
Why is there so much misery?
Does God give you more than you can handle?
I'm sure he has before,
Because children should not be in hospital beds praying they make it through,
Children should not be  in police offices relaying all the horrors of what another human being can do.
God gives more than we can handle. I know that for sure. I just wonder why.

Quiescent
Being at rest or inactive.

In this lovely world of ours there is so much pressure to work,
To work endlessly to work until you are beyond tired,
To work until you can't anyone, to work until your body won't let you.
I think there is so much more to life than pushing yourself until you can't anymore.
Because there is more to life than what you can produce.
Life is a painting you aren't quite sure you like but love with your whole heart,
Life is a piece of art you make progress in every single day,
Life is being a leaf floating in the pond on a rainy day.
Nobody looks back on life and wishes they had spent more time at the office.

Radio
A collection of songs played from a stereo.

Riot van,
reminds me of late nights in the eighth grade,
Or walking through the streets at midnight with my friend,
The song has an aftertaste of melancholy when you listen to it.
Work song,
Reminds me of the time i spent in austin,
Making art in my little notebook and the color green,
Such a happy song makes my eyes become heavy with tears when I listen to it.
All I want is you,
Reminds of when I realized I liked him,
But accepting the time wasn't right,
It has such an upbeat melody with such a depressing meaning.
Black sheep,
Reminds me of the time of puffy faces,
Memories I'd rather live without.

Recognize
To see as familiar.

It's a unique sort of pain to not recognize the person you see in the mirror,
To feel far away from the person you hear when you speak.
I don't look like me,
I don't sound like me,
I don't exist in the body I should,
And I don't know when I will.
I don't know when the thoughts that I will never be a real man will fade,
I don't know if they ever truly will.

Record
To document in some way.

I think it's a beautiful thing how humans document our experiences,
We write about our perspectives, our thoughts and our worlds.
I write in my journal, show my life through art, and capture the scenery through videos.
I write about my thoughts and my day,
Showing what it's like to be me in that moment.