The Greek Midnight Rainbow

Chapter 2: Me and my brother have "the talk" (not that talk you mortal!)

I knew my mom wanted to break down and cry right then and there, she had already lost her first child (she had gotten pregnant at the age of sixteen and later on Kole was born when she was twenty two, I was born when she was twenty five) to war. "They where dark times" was all she would say when I asked about him. I was roughly one when he died. My brother Kole had gone into his first war at the age of thirteen, I was ten back then. He was fifteen now. I knew Kole was a skillful and fearless warrior, but that did not lessen mom's constant worry. She wouldn't show it of course but I could feel it, the tense aura around her, as if she was ready to spring and run away at any moment.

Cressida was a tall woman, her lean hourglass-shaped body and long brown hair made her wrinkle-less thin face look even younger. The shape of her mouth made it seem like she was always about to crack a smile. Her top lip was thin while her bottom one was puffy. Perhaps this had to do with the fact that she was always biting at it, a habit I had inherited from her. Her nose, was slightly pointy but beautiful all the same. Her deep green eyes seemed to change color depending on the day, unfortunately I had not gotten those eyes. She was gorgeous I could clearly see why Ares had been attracted to her.

Unlike mom, Kole was muscular and fit. He had the same eyes as mom but they rarely changed color, he was a tad taller than Alexander. And tanner. He had black hair that fell over his ears. I remembered how as a kid he seemed almost fragile, training and war had transformed him into a full grown man though he was still a teenager, even his voice was deep and raspy. He looked good, but I couldn't help, and miss that fragile boy who would dance with me around the living room, constantly stepping in each others foot, not always by accident.

I raced to my room, my heart pounding. Taking a bag made of fabric -that I knitted myself, thank you very much- I took as much clothes as I could fit into it and squeezed the bag shut by pulling on either side of it until it made a satisfying crack. There was only one thing missing, my lucky amulet - a snake-shaped hair clip I carried everywhere. Now, let me get this straight, i'm not one of those crazy people (if you're one of these people, you're not crazy, the others are) who believe in luck signs and whatnot. But this hair clip had belonged to my family for generations, my grand mother had given it to me when I turned five and I would give it to my grand daughter when she turned the same age. I called it a lucky amulet because that's how my grandma called it, thats all.

After I finished packing up, and there was nothing else to keep me busy, I started to think about the war and whether I was strong enough to survive it; I wondered if I was coming back home alive, and if I did would I still be sane? I wondered if I was going to be brave, and then the questions all jumbled together in my mind, there were just too many questions, too many ifs.

The most important question though was how-

The door opening took me out of my train of thought. I stared at the door, though the hallway behind it was completely dark, it felt completely empty as well, I was about to stand up and close it, when a dark-haired head appeared through the door, followed by a tall and fit body. Kole.

He looked around the room that used to be ours before he went into war. This room now belonged to me. Only me. Even thought I loved to have a place for my own, things can get silent and lonely. The room hadn't changed much since he left almost three years ago. In fact the room hadn't changed at all. Both beds stood side by side. The room wasn't big, but it was big enough for two people to move around. The night before my brother left, we didn't talk much. I made attempts to start conversation but there was too much of a dark mood around the room, I gave up after a couple tries.

That night the room had seemed way too big and cold, and it had seemed even bigger with his absence the night after. I knew this night would be the same, only one thing would be different this time: tomorrow this room would be even bigger, because no one would be here to occupy it, and perhaps -may the gods forbid it- never again would this room be occupied.

"You're scared" said Kole, I had almost forgotten he was here until he spoke again, his voice booming through the white walls of the room.

It had not crossed my mind that such a thing as fear could be felt. It was not until he said so that I realized that I was frightened. But I would not let myself admit so, for I knew if I did, I would be driven crazy by it. Fear was not part if my vocabulary, it had never been.

I shook my head trying to deny the undeniable. But I could not meet his eye.

Kole sighed, "Sel...It's okay to be afraid, to be honest, I was terrified to the bone the night before leaving. And the first few days...they were an absolute nightmare"

Sel, that was what Kole used to call me, no one else called me that. Ever. So hearing it again sounded strange, alien, even to my own ears. And I could tell Kole sensed it too, by the way he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another. It seemed strange how such a strong warrior could get uncomfortable in a situation like this. However, I did not mind being called Sel again, it was a part of my childhood I would never let go of.

"Does it get better?" I asked, my voice sounding small even to my own ears.

"Huh?, oh the fear you mean?" I nodded.

Kole sighed again and sat down next to me, the bed shifting under his weight. He folded his hands on his lap and stared at the wall in front."The fear subsides with time, but It's always there in the corners of your mind. But fear is not what drives most warriors crazy. Guilt does. We are all aware -from the way we have been trained- that most of the warriors from the other side, don't even know what they are fighting for, then again we can't assure we know for sure either. It is one thing knowing you're truly fighting against the enemy, killing it, It's another thing knowing, or at least being aware of -in some subconscious level- that we are killing innocent people."

"If the warriors on the other side aren't the exact enemy, then who is?"

Kole looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time, and even though he had a far away look in his eye I could still feel as if he wasn't just looking at me, but rather into me, through me.

"The real enemy, dear Sel, is the war, the war and those who lead us into it"