I want to say sorry for all the bad decisions I've made that made you suffer. I'm sorry for not being good enough, for not being smart, and for not being strong. I'm sorry if I got you in the position wherein you can't do anything but stay in that toxic surroundings. I'm sorry, I really am. Maybe because I am a coward, I don't want to take risks. Although I want to be successful someday, I don't know how and where to start.
Maybe all I wanted was to escape from everything even for a short of time. Maybe all I wanted was to drink to take all the pain that I have received because of my decisions. Maybe all I wanted was to rest for a while, maybe sleep for 12 hours, maybe take a bath for 3 hours, or maybe go to the mall to wander around for 5 hours all by myself.
It's getting to feel like I am suffocated to everything. I feel like drowning in all the responsibilities I should do for being a student, tutor, niece, daughter, big sister, friend. I don't want to start another day feeling tired already. I'm tired. All of a sudden, I'm feeling done, tired, restless.
I hope you won't feel or experience all of these again. I hope you will find someone who will make you feel a special friend without expecting anything in return. I hope you will find the right path at a right time. I hope you feel happy because you are contented.
