Bench

13 | Talk

It's been a week since I haven't talked to Dae, I never gotten any text messages or any missed calls from him since then. I mean I did tell him to figure things out with himself so I can't really expect much. If you tell a guy to leave you alone, he will do so and respect that privacy of your, if he tries to make a move of talking to you after a couple of days maybe he has realize what he has been missing. There is just so much that a guy can think, if he has that same mindset that you are thinking. I always knew how guys are, but when your stuck in a situation with one your mind is recalculating everything you remembered, leaving you overthinking about every part of them.

I'm on my couch watching romantic comedy's, half focused on the movie and half focused on every messy thing my mind is thinking about. I'm eating cold noodles I made like 30 mins ago, wearing my comfy pajamas. Why is it that movies make love stories seem so easy to resolve? How the boy easily learns from his faults and somewhat along the way it's like nothing ever happened?

Well I ended up falling asleep on my couch a couple hours later and I get a text from Dae. I didn't end up reading it since I knocked out but when I woke up the next day and saw my phone my eye's widen.

~ t e x t m e s s a g e ~

"Hey Jackielyn, I know we are having are distances but I just wanna talk to you, properly. I wasn't thinking the first time I tried to talk to you in the parking lot but now I wanna just clear things up between us. If your free maybe we can meet at my place tomorrow at 4 pm? I know it's all so sudden but I wouldn't wanna make this distancing continue on." - Dae

"Hey Dae, it has been a while since we talked and I'm surprised you decided to talk to me after all that happened. You were a great guy Dae but all of a sudden I felt like that changed or that I saw a side of you I didn't expect. We can meet but not at your place, just come by my house at 4." - Jackielyn

Holding my phone lying down I replied and felt a bit of a relieve, with the silence of who is going to talk to who first. I needed to clear things up with Dae or else I would be stuck in this cycle of thinking of one thing then everything.

So later on the afternoon I get myself dressed. Then 1 hour later Dae arrives knocking at my door. I walk to the door feeling weirdly nervous, doing quick breathing exercises, and then in split seconds I saw his face. His hair is freshly showered, he's wearing a black hoodie and grey sweatpants, He looked just as nervous as I am.

After opening the door for Dae I closed the door and the room was silent. Nobody talked, all I could hear is the wind blowing from the window. I was waiting for him to say something but nothing came from that waiting. So I just started it, just as it was in the beginning.

"So......how you been?" - Jackielyn

"I'm doing okay, Louise has been blowing up my phone" looking around he said - Dae

"Wow. Can't believe you haven't worked things out with Louise either." lifting up my brows and tucking my lips I said - Jackielyn

"I know it's messed up but I just need the space away from here. I just want to fix things with you first." looking at my me he said - Dae

"I just don't get it, like why? Why did you have to make such a screwed up move?" walking towards the couch I said - Jackielyn 

"The thing is......I was confused." sitting beside me he said - Dae

"Confused about what, liking me?" - Jackielyn

"Sort of? But I was just confused with who I liked more." looking away he said - Dae

"What do you mean more, is there another person?" - Jackielyn

"Yes but it's not some random girl I just met, it's Louise. That is why I'm avoiding her because I needed to figure out this feeling I had for her." - Dae

"Wait I thought....you saw her as a buddy, a family friend? looking surprisingly shocked I said - Jackielyn 

"All that I said to you wasn't a lie but a few day's after I talked to you, Louise came to my place. We were talking and then it just happened." - Dae

"What the actual fuck. So you somehow catched feelings for your best friend because you guys had a one night stand? Does that add up? - Jackielyn

"Okay when I started to become friends with Louise in the beginning I had a small crush on her but then that faded away once we gotten closer, but when we hooked up it flashed me back to that day." - Dae

"Damn...I mean there will always be that one person in a girl-boy friendship to like the other. But even though you had this history with Louise, it still wouldn't change the fact that I wasn't in your mind 100%."  - Jackielyn

"I.......I.......I screwed up okay. But I like you Jackielyn and your the only girl that I want." - Dae

"I like you too Dae but if you really wanted me you would have focused only on me. I'm not being selfish in a way of saying this but if you truly like someone, nothing should get in the way of making you question why you like them." - Jackielyn 

After saying that last words of mine I walked away from the couch. Dae just sat there, silent. I couldn't wrap my head around with all that he said, him being confused got me confused. 

"What can I do to have you forgive me and just make things up with this mess? turning around towards me he said - Dae

"Who said I haven't forgiven you. All the things that you did I forgave you already because it would hurt me more to not and would just be a waste of time to even hold it in. I honestly just need time and for you also to really figure this out." - Jackielyn

"Okay, well I guess I should get going." - Dae

"But thank you Dae for this talk. I know sometime in a bit things will clear up." - walking to the door with Dae I said - Jackielyn

"Yah for sure, thank you as well." - Dae

We both looked at each other not knowing if we are just gonna wave goodbye or give each other a hug. But then Dae started to walk towards me which gave me a vibe that he wanted to hug me so I hugged him. While we were hugging all I could think about was Dae and Louise, them doing it. How could I not notice their attachments? After we hugged he left and I closed the door. 

I need to process all this crap in my head.