Mistakes (A Nathan Sykes One Shot)

~Kate's POV~

"I'm done! Every time you go out drinking, I'm always here at home, wondering when or even if you're coming home! I get hate wheever I'm seen with you, and even more jeers when you're seen with some other girl! And when you do come home, you always yell at me if I make a tiny mistake!" I shrieked. Nathan seemed taken aback by my yelling. Honestly, so was I. I had never snapped at him before. He seemed to snap out of his trance.

"Then go! I'm so sick of your mood swings, how you're always so depressed! I try everything to cheer you up, and don't even succeed half of the time! I love you, and sometimes I wish I didn't!" He yelled, slamming the door behind him as he stormed away. Curling up, I sobbed into my knees, letting the tears flow down my face. He doesn't know. He doesn't know that my mood swings aren't just mood swings. He has no idea I suffer from depression.

-15 minutes later-

I gripped the toilet seat with white knuckles as I threw up once again. I've lost count of the number of depressant tablets I've taken since Nathan left, and the effects were taking a toll on me.

I love you, and sometimes I wish I didn't

Those words kept plaing in my mind like an annoying siren. Hearing them once again, I let loose another spew of vomit. My body was shaking, a thin sheet of sweat was coating my face, and my vision was blurry. Normally one tablet was enough to calm me, but this time it seemed to do the opposite. I grew more panicky. Walking over to the sink, what I saw made me want to puke again.

My hair was messy, my eyes red from crying, mascara was running down my cheeks creating black tracks on my fair skin. I had bags under my eyes due to lack of sleep. My cheeks sagged slightly. I looked like a madwoman on the loose.

I hated myself. Even more so, I hated what I had done to Nathan. He was so sweet, so kind, always asking if I was alright. Every time I pushed him away. He was the perfect boyfriend and I was stupid not to see that. I didn't deserve him, or my friends. I didn't even deserve to live. I deserve to be buried under miles of soil, where I couldn't ruin anyone else.

Stumbling into our room, I scribbled a long note for him, reaching a desicion. I left it on our bed. Walking back into the bathroom, I shook the remaining contents of the almost empty bottle. Three tablets. One chance to end all my pain, his suffering.

Without hesitating I slipped the tablets into my mouth and swallowed, feeling my body shake even more. My vision blurred once again as I let blackness greet me.

~Nathan's POV~

I stormed down the street, ignoring the world. My head was flooded with emotions and I was exhausted. Maybe I shouldn't have yelled at her. I regretted my words immediately after I had said them. I had let alcohole take over and now I really had to apologise to Kate.

Fumbling with my keys, I pushed the door open and walked in everything was still in place, including her keys. But there was no one. Call me weird, but it felt too quiet. Very eerily quiet.

"Kate? Kate, baby where are you? I'm so sorry I yelled at you. Kate?" I called searching everywhere.

Rushing around, I found the bathroom light on and ran in. There she was, collapsed on the floor.

"Kate! Jesus Christ, Kate, baby wake up!" I cradled her to my chest. Frantically searching, I found a very weak pulse. I could feel it slowly fading.

"Kate, you stupid girl. Please, wake up, please," I sobbed into her chest. Quickly ringing an ambulance, I rushed in saying everything and begged them to hurry. I looked about the bathroom, looking for something that had triggered Kate, my beautiful Kate to do this. I spotted a prescription bottle and reached for it.