[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[132.] Unspoken. [TW]

NOTE:

Trigger Warning

****

They went directly to the bedroom, they didn't even need to discuss it. Lan Xichen helped his loved one get rid of almost all clothes, laying him in bed to rest, and getting undressed too.

- Zewu-Jun... What about....   -  Jiang Cheng tried to ask weakly.

- I am done with work for today, my love. We can have a bath and dinner here today. I don't really care any more.  –  he grumbled.

- Huan...  -  he whispered, feeling guilty.

Lan Xichen felt his greedy grip on his body the moment he lied down by his side. It broke his heart a little and he murmured:

- You forgive me, darling? You don't hate me...?  For what I did... for what I didn't do...

- Please, let's not talk about it. Please... for now. Please, hold me... Be with me. I love you.

- Yes, my heart... Yes, my precious.  –  Lan Xichen whispered lovingly.

Their bodies entwined and they lay together for hours, not moving, just being together. They didn't need words any more; each knew what the other was feeling. Jiang Cheng felt still a gentle warmth inside, remembering how his husband defended him, despite politics, despite all Clan rules, despite all odds. His brother too, in his own explosive and emotional way, had defended him, and their baby. 

He felt loved; it was a comforting, warm feeling that almost drowned his grief.

Lan Xichen knew; he understood that Jiang Wanyin needed time. He knew that there was nothing much he could do for him, but be there for him and support him. He had to go through all this on his own, at his own pace, in his own time.

***

Lan Qiren was furious. How was it again that he was the very last to know? When his nephews were younger, they would tell him absolutely everything. There was harmony and peace in their House. Then the damned Yunmeng Jiang Clan came along, and it all became a mess. He cursed the day Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng came to study at the Cloud Recesses! This was the day it all went downhill.

The servants were getting his horse ready for his journey back, as per Zewu-Jun's unceremonious order, but he nonchalantly grabbed a random servant and dragged her into one of the guest rooms forcefully  –  he needed to finally know the whole truth.

- Are you new?  –  he yanked her angrily into the room and closed the door.

- No, Master.  –  she bowed low, scared.  –  I have been with your noble House for two years now.

- Good, good.  –  he stroked his beard and sat down by the low table heavily.  –  Answer some questions, child. Then you can be free to go.

- Yes, Master.  –  she dared not look up, so she stared at the floor.

- Tell me about the fire at the Cloud Recesses first.  –  he grunted.

- Master?  –  she asked weakly, confused.

- Tell me, in your own words. Everything you know.  –  he tried to calm his breathing, and spoke slowly now.

The girl told him all she knew  –  about the Yunmeng arrows that set the Hánshì  on fire, about Master Lan's burned skin, about Master Jiang's prolonged illness. No one ever informed the servants of all this, of course, but they had secret ways of eavesdropping, and naturally  –  everybody at the Cloud Recesses knew everything. She was too scared to hold anything back, remembering stories about how strict Zewu-Jun's uncle's punishments could be.

- I see...  -  he hummed, growing paler and paler.  –  And now tell me what you know about... Zewu-Jun's... child? Children?  –  he said, still confused.

- Oh, Master! It was so sad...  -  she whimpered.  –  The Masters were in mourning for so long...

- They were?  –  he asked, surprised. He remembered hearing rumors  about it, and writing to Lan Xichen for confirmation, as it sounded too absurd to be true. His nephew never wrote  back to him.

She nodded sadly.

- Start from the start. Come on.  –  he urged her, frowning.

- I should know, Master... I was there when the doctor came... on Master Jiang's birthday... There was so much blood, Master... Zewu-Jun cried for three days without stopping... It broke my heart so much!  –  she almost sobbed, remembering.  –  The Masters lost their first baby, and Sandu Shengshou was so sick... We sincerely thought that he was going to die. Zewu-Jun just stopped eating... stopped sleeping... It was...hard... Master.  –  she hid her face in her hands, too emotional to go on.

He stared at her with his mouth wide open. So... this meant...  Sandu Shengshou... There was no way Yu Ziyuan had not known about this. He clenched his teeth helplessly  –  it was far too late now. So this was the reason why Lan Xichen was so stubborn, so adamant to protect his husband? That stupid woman had laid an elaborate trap, and then had fallen in it; only, she dragged hundreds more with her, down to their death.

- Go on.  –  he hissed in a couple of minutes.

- Well, that's it, Master. Now the Masters are expecting again.  –  she brushed her tears away, calmer now, blushing.  –  This is why Zewu-Jun wants the renovations to be over soon, both here and at Gusu. He wants it all to be ready for when the baby comes.  –  she smiled happily.  –  We can't wait for a new baby at the Cloud Recesses, Master! It is such a joy, such a blessing!  The Masters look so happy together again!

- You mean...  -  he stuttered.  –  You mean to say that they... are expecting a child... right now?!  –  he gaped.

- Yes, Master. Sandu Shengshou is starting to show. I help him bathe sometimes. And he rests a lot; Zewu-Jun is very particular about that. He is protecting him so much! He even moved him here, away from the war. Such a great husband!!!  –  he exclaimed dreamily.

- I see.  –  he scoffed. Now things became clearer.  –  Go! Go and don't dare say a word about this to Zewu-Jun.  –  he said sternly.

She bowed and left hurriedly.

Lan Qiren left  Yùlán   thinking about cause and effect. 

And also  -  about Fate.