Over Again

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August 2018

Today, I've got a meeting with my manager and some other people.
When I arrive it seems that I was the last one. I greet Jeff and we both take a seat around the table. I take a look at everyone and my eyes fall on a woman with her head low. A woman or a young lady. She's probably new and/or shy.
"So Harry, fans want new music." Jeff starts and I stop staring at her.
"We've had an idea. What about a duet?!" a bald man with a beard says from the other side of the table.
"With whom?" I ask.
"It's still yours to decide whether you do it or not but we think thought it would be a great idea. It would be with the lady over there." he points at the only girl around the table (why is there so many men?) she doesn't look up.
"Imagine :you're the two favorite artists of the past 2 years!" a man says.
"This is Liam Payne, her manager." Jeff tells me. I nod to let him know I've heard him then look back at the man, Liam, who is now staring at the girl.
"So Camila?" Camila?!
"No." she stands up.
"What?" Jeff chokes on his water.
"We haven't talked in years. I'm not as talented or experienced as he is. We don't do the same music genre, he probably hates me. So no."
"Camila, please think about it. It'll boost both your careers." her manager says as she starts to leave.
"I don't wanna do it just to boost my career Liam, I don't care how big or famous I become I just want to do what I like and enjoy it. I don't care if nobody kows me, I just don't want to heave any regrets. And I think he thinks like me. This song would be a mistake. "
She runs away. Well, nice one. We haven't talked in years and when we do that's how it goes. Nice. Very nice.
I look at Jeff and Liam who are looking desperate.
Liam takes a piece of paper and writes something down on it.
" Her number. " he hands it to me. I give him a look of incomprehension.
"You can convince her. We can't do nothing more." he explains and I nod.
"Why would you hate her?" Jeff asks me as I'm leaving the conference room.
"You don't need to know Jeff." I hold the door handle.
"I'm your manager." he replies.
"I know and I love you for that. Bye Liam, see ya Jeff." I blurt out in one breath before leaving this room.
I decide not to leave now. I know a nice cafe at the corner of the street, I could call Mitch or Niall.
"can you pick me up?" I turn around at the feminine voice.
"Oh, okay, I'll find a way, don't worry." "Hi Harry." she fake smiles at me. I won't ask her why she is sad now but I might if, hopefully, we keep in touch.
"Hi Camila, how have you been?"
"Fine, and you?"
"Oh,erm,fine thanks." Butterflies mode : activated
"They're crazy." she speaks, more for herself than for me to hear but I still do.
"Excuse me?"
"The whole team. I mean, you probably hate me, why would they imagine we'd write, record, shoot, and perform together?"
"Yeah" that's where you're wrong girl, I don't hate ya.
"By the way I love your songs, Kiwi and Sign Of The Times."
"Oh thanks, Havana and Crying In The Club are really good too! I used to listen to them all day long."
"Really?" she smiles, though I can't say if she smiles or smirks.
"Well, my girlfriend."
"What's her name?"
"Sorry?" why is she asking me my ex girlfriend's name?
"So I can thank her."
"Oh yeah, Camille Rowe."
At the mention of her name Camila's eyes widen.
"What?"
"What?" I answer, veryyy dumbly I must admit.
"Are you guys still... dating ?"
"No, we broke up a month ago."
"Oh my..."
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing." Liar Camila, liar.
"You know her?"
"Of course I do ! We both work at L'Oréal. We were pretty good friends. She taught me better French but one day, she kinda did something wrong."
"Oh really, now that I think of it she might have mentioned her musical friend or something like that." i remember Camille talking about one of her friends at L'Oréal, she wanted us to meet but I didn't have the time to because one day I went home thinking I would surprise her. Indeed I surprised her. You should have seen her face and the face of the man she was fucking when I opened the door.
"Well, it was nice to see you again!".
She walks away.
You know, sometime seeing someone you had feelings for after losing them, it could seem sweet and nice, but when those feeling did not disappear naturally but because they had no choice but to do so, I swear seeing her again did not do good in my nerves.
That's when she left that I felt my heartbeat getting lower, normal. That's when she left that I stopped overthinking and overlooking my movements. That's when she left that I left a sigh of relief escape my lips.
I was excited to see her again. I wanted to see her again.
I wanted to see her again the way u imagined it. I wrote the script in my mind, sleepless nights thinking of this. She didn't follow the script. She didn't acted the way I thought she would.
She acted so cold and so... distant. Like we didn't even know each other. Like every of our kiss didn't exist. Like those weeks didn't mean anything. God I must sound stupid. Weeks. Dude you can count your time of loving her in weeks. You can't call this a relationship.
A summer love.
That's what it was.
That's all it was.
A summer love.
Then if it was just a summer love, why do I feel, felt that way huh?
I don't think it was just a summer live.
I don't think either my head nor my heart are ready to accept it.
I wanted to see her again. Yes i did.
I didn't want to fall for her all over again.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 16, 2021 ⏰

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