The 13th of Friday

"There is a large asteroid heading directly towards earth, scientist estimate it'll make impact on this Friday the 13th".  A NASA spokesperson is on the news.  Undoubtedly, everyone with a TV or phone is watching this broadcast. 

Joe laughs and says, "I guess it had to end sometime."  He puts out his cigarette and gets dressed to head to the store for supplies.  When Joe arrives, it is pure mania.  People are running around the store trying to load as much as they can into their shopping carts. There are a couple of fights going on down the bread aisle. 

Joe isn't interested in any of those things. He heads straight for the wine section.  He doesn't spend much time reading the labels on the bottles like he normally would have he just grabs a few bottles of the cheap stuff and heads to the checkout line. 

"Will this be all for you, sir?".  "Hand me a pack of those rolling papers, and I'll be on my way."  Joe makes his way back home through all the chaos that is unfolding around him.  He cracks a smile and laughs for a moment. 

The apartment building Joe lives at has rooftop access.  The news says the asteroid is expected to hit around 2:00 in the morning on Friday the 13th.  It's now 7:00 at night on the 12th of Friday.  Most people are trying to get underground or in bunkers just hoping they'll survive the impact. 

Joe makes his way to the rooftop of his apartment building.  He's got a few bottles of cheap wine and a bag of some top-shelf smoke.  Joe sets up his lawn chair next to a table the other residents used as a smoking section.  He cracks open his first bottle of wine, takes a few large sips, and then starts rolling. 

Joe planned on being completely wasted when the impact happened.  It is now 1:00 in the morning of the 13th of Friday, and Joe is so gone that he has completely forgotten about the asteroid. 

Then the music he has playing on his portable radio stops and there is a loud, annoying buzzard sound that beeps a few times, then a person starts speaking "the asteroid or what we thought was an asteroid is slowing down, some scientists are saying this could be first contact". 

Joe starts to laugh. "Maybe they'll pay me a visit and take me off of this shit rock."  Joe keeps laughing. "I hope they've come to take me home."  Joe lights up another joint, and then he hears it. 

A strange sound he has never heard before.  A bright green light beams down onto Joe, as Joe shields his eyes he feels like he is flying, when he opens his eyes he is in a room surrounded by creatures wearing some type of advanced space suits. 

Joe is feeling terrified, but all he can do is laugh.  One of the creatures approaches him and takes its helmet off.  Joe can't believe what he is seeing.  "You're human?".  The alien laughs then replies, "It's time to go home, Joe."