The two who should have never met

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Opening his eyes 👀, he looks 👁️👄👁️ in confusion. Sitting up, he blinks a few times.

"The last time I checked, hell 👹 didn't look like this... Neither does heaven 😇..." he mutters. Falling back down he starts to complain. "Awww! After I thought 💭 I finally died ⚰️, I'm alive ✝️ again?"

Picking himself up, Dazai wanders into the new world 🌏, which was similar to the Tokyo 🗾 he would go to on missions.

Walking around, he soon found an eery looking building 🏚️. Dazai being Dazai, obviously when inside. Humming he sees a creature. The demon-looking creature was a sickening shade of purple 🟪. The skin was all wrinkly and saggy. The eye 👁️ stared at the brunette 🟤, large mouth drooling 🤤. (I imagined Mike Wazowski and Thanos merged together. Don't question. I saw it one in my dream and we ate cotton candy while burning down banks.)

"Hello! Will you eat me? Oh make it fast though, I don't like pain very much." He frowns🙁 but smiles🙂 again. "C'mon!" He encourages☺️. 

The creature's mouth opened 👄 and was just a few inches away from Dazai's face before something fast hit the odd creature, knocking it down 🌠.

A man stood, standing on the creature before stepping off. "It's okay. I'm the strongest 💪." (What is this Allmight shit)

Sighing, Dazai falls to the ground. "Ahhhhh! Why does my suicide always gets disrupted!"

"Oh? Suicide?"

"Oh well..." Walking up to the white-haired man, Dazai grabs one of his hands. "Will you please strangle me with these strong 💪 arms," He says, eyes shining 😄✨. "Please make it as ✨painless✨ as possible 😇."

The sorcerer was amused at this weird man 👽. Not only was he asking to be killed😵, but his cursed energy disappeared immediately when he was touched (*Boop!*).

"C'mon fight me, bastard." Another person appeared. A guy with pink hair 🌸and many tattoos and... Is that 4 eyes👀👀?

Dazai, doing the same thing as he did before, grabbed the hand ✋ of the pink-haired guy. "Will you please strangle✨ me with these strong arms?" He asked.

The demon king 👹👑 flinches, slowly feeling that his life force, his cursed energy was slowly disappearing and was forced to switch with the human🧍. Dazai on the other hand didn't know his ability still works in this world 😧.

"Eh? I thought I was going to do that!" the white-haired man complains 😔.

"Really?! 🤩"

"..." Gojo just smiles 🙂 at the strange guy. He didn't really know to say yes or no to that.

"Uh, Sensei, who is that- 🤨"

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"Oh? Watching movies is a part of his training?😮"

"Yep~ It's efficient for him to train his cursed energy.😀"

"Hmm... Efficient you say? Isn't discipline easier?🧐"

Itadori was secretly shocked 😱. He couldn't imagine a goofy person such as Dazai to teach using discipline.

"I should try that method one day... Watching movies..."

Itadori, who was getting a new movie from CD 💿 shelf🗄️ stopped when he saw Dazai leaning over him and looking at the cover of the movie 🎞️.

"They have this movie here too! Hey Itadori~ Do you want to know what happens?"

Before the boy could protest, he saw the brunette and his Sensei nod at each other and start reenacting the story 🎭.

🎬

"No...! No...! Please don't die on me!😟🥺" The bandaged man was holding Gojo in his hands 🤲 as if he was dying.

"I-its okay... I promise not to die...😔"

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"You will be defeated by the power of friendship! 👯"

"Magical duo, Magic clip 📎 and magic chip🍟!"
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"Oh no! I think we are losing!📉😣"

"Do not lose hope!🗣️ 🙏"
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"I forgive you... Elmo..."🫂👥

"*Sniff sniff*"🤧😢
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"Y-you weren't kidding?😥"

"Yes... I'm sorry for not telling you earlier...😣"

SLAP 😬

"I can't believe you hid that fact that your true ✅ form was foot fungi 🦶🦠!"

"I-i fell in love💘😍 the moment I became your😏 foot🦶 fungi🦠."
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"It was nice... Knowing you... I'm going to die now... Bleh 😵"

"Nooooooooo! I'll die ☠️ with you🏃‍♀️."

"Wait, how did you get a real knife 🔪😰 Dazai." Itadori asked in concern and confusion.

"Don't worry. I'm the strongest 💪. I am still alive ✝️."
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"I-i love someone who looks like you! 😳"

"I-is it me? 😏"

"Why would it be you⁉️? I was talking about your brother. 🙄"

"N-no way! 🤧"

"... 🌝 Yes"
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"Oh! Oh! Oh! Remember 💭 that scene where (insert a name of someone you hate) was killed by Elmo!? 👹"

"Oh! Do you remember how the main character died 😵 from tripping over a rock? 💀🪨"

"That was pretty unexpected. 🥸"

At that point, Yuji Itadori had given up. If he listened 👂 to them he would get spoilers and the nonsense they spouted.

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Back at the Mafia🕶️, it was time for Dazai to try a new teaching👨‍🏫 technique that he was taught. Watching 😎 movies.

When he introduced this idea to Akutagawa, he was scared. Really scared 😰. He was 50 times, no, 69 times, no, 420 times more scared than usual. He was practically quaking 😣. Dazai was never this nice to him before and that scared him even more than the normal Dazai.

Before this, Dazai was advised 🗣️ by Gojo what to do 🗒️.

Settling in, the two watch the large screen⬛⬛. 

Dazai was prepared he was so prepared that he even brought popcorn 💥🌽 and S.Oda 🪦🥤as advised by Itadori.

"What you are going to do is create the silhouette of the main character with your ability. It's going to help💪👍 with precision☝️and reaction speed✌️."

Nodding, the boy did as he was told🙌.

"Here. You can never watch a movie without popcorn🍿 and Soda🥤. That's a life lesson Akutagawa that I learnt🧑‍🏫. It's never the same without."

Internally shocked 😱, Akutagawa looks at the food 🍿 and drinks🥤 he was given, wanting to cherish it while repeating ✍️📝the life lesson📕 that his mentor just told him.

A week later, the cup 🥛 that had soda 🍊🪦 in it became Akutagawa's be favourite 🌟 trophy 🏆 and the popcorn box was stuck 📌 on the wall 🧱 full of Dazai pictures 🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️.

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AN: Hey! I have some other stories if you'd like to read so feel free to give them a go.