Forever Intertwined (A Zayn Malik Fan Fiction)

Chapter 23

“Jayd?” Eleanor asks, concerned. Liz is sitting in between me and Harry on the couch in Liam’s living room. Zayn is sitting on the couch across from me, in between Niall and Liam. Zayn refuses to look at me, and hasn’t allowed any eye contact with me since the bowling alley.

“Jayd?” Eleanor calls again. This time I snap out of it and look at her. She’s sitting on the floor next to Louis, and everyone is looking at me worriedly.

“Yes?” I answer.

“Did you want any of the pizza?” she asks.

“Oh no, thank you.” I say, causing Liz to stomp on my foot.

“Ow! Why’d you do that?” I say, rubbing my foot.

“Because you haven't eaten in five hours.” she says so quietly that I’m sure I’m the only one who heard. I roll my eyes and then grab a slice.

“Happy?” I ask, when I finish it.

“Yes.” Liz says, giving me a small smile.

“Excuse me.” Zayn says, getting up and walking out to the terrace. Liam hesitates, and then gets up to follow him.

“Anyone know why Zayn’s so upset?” Louis asks, before looking at me.

“Not a clue.” I say quietly. Liz tries to change the subject, but I’m distracted. After about five minutes I can’t take it any longer.

“Excuse me.” I say, getting up to walk to the terrace.

“Well maybe you should try asking her, mate.” I hear Liam say as I come out. They have their arms folded on top of the railing, staring at the field below. 

“Ahem.” I clear my throat, announcing my presence. They both turn to look at me. Zayn has a cigarette in his hand, and Liam gives him a pat on the shoulder.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” he says, walking back inside. Zayn sighs and turns back to the railing.

“So. What’s up?” I ask him once Liam’s gone.

“Nothing.” he says, taking a pull off his cigarette. I walk up to him and hug him from behind. I softly kiss his neck and behind his ear.

“Just tell me what’s on your mind.” I whisper in his ear. He sighs again, and then turns around to face me.

“Do you want to go public?” he asks, taking me by surprise.

“What do you mean? I said I would, didn’t I?” I ask.

“But do you actually want to?” he asks.

“Where is this coming from?” I ask him, confused.

“Tonight you had a chance to tell some fans about our relationship and you opted to deny it.” he says, and I can see the hurt in his eyes. “As soon as the fans came, you left my side.”

“Zayn, look—”

“And it’s not a bad thing if you don’t want to. I know my life is hectic, and I don’t want you to feel suffocated. But I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do.”

Here’s my chance. I can tell him right now about the true reason I’m hesitant of the press, the paparazzi, the fans. The question is, can I force myself to do it? Can I admit it to him? Will it change the way he feels about me? I don’t want to lose him, but if I don’t tell him now, someone else will figure it out. And then Zayn will find out. It isn’t something I can hide, so my best option is to just tell him. Besides, it’s better for him to hear it from me, instead of in a magazine or online or something. He’s giving me the perfect opportunity to say it, but I can’t bring myself to do it. So I smile at him instead.