I always try to keep a fake happy smile plastered onto my face, but sometimes I let my real feeling a soak through by mistake. I try to bottle everything down deep and ignore them until I'm alone.
Every night I feel as tears roll down my cheeks, never fully knowing why. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be crying myself to sleep and begging to die.
When somebody asks how I'm doing, whiteout thinking it's become a reflex to say "I'm fine," or "I'm doing good,". I never even think if they could help me.
I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like the empty shell of a girl who used to dream big. Now I worry I won't even live long enough to be able to do them. I worry I'll never be that girl again.
Everyday it feels like I push all my emotions behind a huge door and lock them until I'm "happy" again.
Because I can't let anyone see me like this.
Because I'll never get help.
Because I'll just get my hopes up.
Because I'll just get more hurt
So each and every day I put on a fake face and pertain screaming. And like I don't feel numb.
YOU ARE READING
Poems From the Mind of an Extremely Anxious Person
PoesiaThese are poems I've written in the past year about my emotions and how I feel in general. This was just a way for me to vent and feel better so don't expect anything amazing. These are just copied from my notebook so there might be a few mistakes. ...
