SCARS

Chapter 1- Confessions

It was quite early in the morning. Glittering warm sunrays seeping through the barriers of the curtains woke her up. Bondita's eyes fluttered open only to find herself enveloped in her husband's protective embrace. She looked up & saw Aniruddh, still fast asleep looking angelic in his sleep like always. Bondita slowly inched up to his face & pecked his forehead careful as to not to wake him up. He didn't, instead his grip on her waist tightened.

Bondita smiled & kept looking at him, her eyes gradually filling up as her eyes fell on the light old faded scar on his forehead. He was staying with Bondita disguised as Roopa. Thakuma had beat him because he gave water to Bondita while she was on her periods. Bondita was overwhelmed as she caressed his face lovingly. Aniruddh gave up everything for her, he lost everything, he even got stabbed!! She squeezed her eyes shut as the horrific memory flashed in front of her eyes & hugged him again. The rhythmic lub dub of his heartbeats calming her down to some extent.

Bondita looked up again & this time planted a soft kiss on his cheek & started to speak her heart out.
"Pati Babu.... Mai khud ko shayad kabhi maaf hi na kar pau. Meri... Sirf meri wajah se aapka jeevan kharab ho gaya. Na aap mujhe bachate na aapki zindagi mein itna sab kuch hota. Aap aaj sukoon ki zindagi jeete... Us..s.. Uske saath jo aapke yogya hai... Jise aapko jeevan ke har mor pe bachana nahi padta, jo aapko duniya ki har khushi deti.... gham aur chotein nahi. Mujhe pata hai ki mujhe shayad aapke jeevan se dur chale jaana chahiye. Par mai swarthi hu."

She pecked his closed eyelids softly. Thankfully Aniruddh still didn't wake up.
"Mai aapse bohot bohot bohot pyaar karti hu pati babu. Mai nahi jee sakti aapke bina. Nahi jee sakti."
Bondita gave a final peck to his lips before untangling herself from Aniruddh's arms. She got up from the bed only to be hurled back into it again. She landed back on Aniruddh's chest as he pulled her down. Aniruddh was quite awake when he felt Bondita's lips on his forehead. But when Bondita started speaking, his heart broke but he let her speak her heart out. Now looking at the visibly flustered Bondita in his arms looking at him with wide eyes.

"Hi Bondita. Good morning darling. Subah subah toh tumne mujhse bohot saari baatien karli. Unn baaton ka jawab nahi jaanna chahogi kya??"

A tear rolled down from Bondita's eye. Aniruddh wiped the tear out with his thumb.
"Bondita kya tumhe pata hai ki ghar kis jagah ko kehte hai??"
Bondita was a bit puzzled by this question of his. She couldn't understand what this question could possibly be of any importance in this conversation. Nonetheless she replied, "Jaha hum rehte hai uss jagah ko ghar kehte hai."
Aniruddh smiled a moment & then said, "Sahi bola tumne Bondita. Lekin ghar ka kaam kya sirf wahi hai kya??"
Bondita looked at Aniruddh squintingly trying to gauge what he was trying to say.

"Ghar woh jagah hai jaha aapko shaanti ka ehsaas hota hai, jaha aapko sukoon milta hai, aisa sukoon jo aapko sirf wahi milta hai, chahe aap duniya mein kahi bhi chale jaao, zyada din ghar se dur raho toh aap bechain ho jaate ho, aapka kahi mann nahi lagta. Haina??"
Bondita nodded slowly. Still not getting the point. Aniruddh continued, "Ghar woh jagah hai jaha aap safe hotey hai, jisne aapke saare dukh, saare dard dekhe hotey hai."
In a swift motion Aniruddh swapped their positions so that Bondita was laying flat on her back with Aniruddh hovering over her. He watched in fascination at how adorable his life looked while she pouted in absolute confusion & frustration, her eyes still painted with unshed tears.

"Pati Babu kya kar rahe hai aap?? Kitne kaam hai mujhe... Chhoriye na, kaka sas..."
Bondita stopped mid sentence as she heard Aniruddh uttering his next words, her heart filling up with warmth & love.

"Tum mera ghar ho Bondita...."

Aniruddh went on to speak further.
"Tumhare saath hone se mujhe sukoon milta hai. Tum saath nahi hoti toh sab adhoora lagne lagta hai. Tumhara haath mere haath mein jab hota hai toh aisa lagta hai ki har jang jeet sakta hu mai. Tumhare gale lagte hi mere mann ke saare darr, saari aashankayein bhaag jaati hai."

Bondita couldn't hold her tears back. She cried profusely. Aniruddh slowly bends down & kisses her forehead & wipes the overflow of pain.

"Tumhe pata hai hai Bondita, tum jab roti ho na aisa lagta hai ki hazaaro khushiyo mein bhi meri duniya kahi ujad gayi."
He slowly took his hand down to her belly & tickled her, Bondita squirmed underneath him letting out peals of laughter. He let go & said, "Aur tum jab hasti ho toh laakh dukhon mein bhi aisa lagta hai jaise iss poore jahan ki saari khushiya mujhe mil gayi ho. Tumse zyada der ke liye dur hota hu toh man mein ek ajeeb si bechaini hone lagti hai," He kissed her eyelids slowly, taking his own time in admiring her. Meri Bondita, He thought looking at her lovingly. He wanted to take all her pain & insecurities away & keep her safe within himself loving her & cherishing her for the rest of his life & beyond.
"Tum pyaar karti ho mujhse Bondita. Tumhari zindagi mein mere bohot maaine hai. Haina??"
Bondita nodded tearfully. Her insides filling up with the sheer warmth of love. Aniruddh pressed a kiss on her nose & said, "Mere liye pyaar ka matlab hi tum ho Bondita. Meri zindagi ke har bhav ka matlab tum ho Bondita. Logo ko yeh baatien shayarana lagengi, kitaabi lagengi par yahi meri zindagi ki sabse badi sachchai hai. Mere jeevan ka aadhar hai."

"Mujhe pasand hai tumhara baat baat pe roothna, tumhara poore din ke baad mujh mein aake simat jaana, tumhara bachcho jaisa rona pasand hai mujhe, railgari ki tarah patar patar bolna pasand hai mujhe, tumhe manana pasand hai mujhe, TUM pasand ho mujhe Bondita. Agar tum ho toh apni zindagi pasand hai mujhe."

The last line came out as a whisper as Aniruddh finally captured Bondita's lips in his pouring out all the love through it & reading all the unsaid words lingering on hers. After what seemed like an eternity both parted away. Aniruddh pressed his forehead to Bondita's whilst being careful as to not crush her with his weight.

His words came out as a whisper but they reverberated into Bondita's soul.
Bondita chahe duniya mein kuch bhi ho jaaye, chahe zindagi mein koi bhi mushkil aaye, yaad rakhna, tum meri zindagi ka iklauta sitara ho Bondita. Aniruddh Roy Chowdhury ka tumhare bina koi wajood nahi.
Bondita smiled. Her voice cracked.
Aur Bondita ka uske Pati Babu bina koi astitva nahi. In normal circumstances Aniruddh would've protested against such a statement but he chose to remain quiet this time understanding the emotions behind it as Bondita pulled him down from above her to beside her locking him in a bone crushing embrace. Aniruddh hugged her back with equal enthusiasm.
This was Bondita's happy place.

She didn't want to get up from there ever. Aniruddh had hugged her tight, his one hand splayed across her back & the other one across her waist. His fingers caressed the old sword scar on her back repeatedly. Bondita looked up at him to see him looking at her with an undecipherable expression. It was only for a moment before he smiled at her & pulled her more close than she already was.