The Way I Love You

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Friend

I glared at my reflection on the mirror. I looked like a panda. Red eyes, puffy cheeks, looking like a mess. I breathed deeply to avoid myself from crying again. My phone beeped and I glared at it.

It's from Bhram.

I know your hurting right now. But please Sulli, take care of yourself. You are not in school daw.

Gago. You're the one who broke my heart. Who's hurting who.

"Jerk." I muttered. I know I am being childish but he never really gave me a reason why would he do that to our relationship. Everything was fine until yesterday. Until he broke my heart into pieces. Tapos ngayon text siya ng text parang siya pa yung nasaktan ah!

Kainis! I wiped my tears streaming on my face. Again. I am crying.

I looked around my room to prevent further breakdown but everywhere I look, I remember him.

My phone beeped again.

You know I have loved you. But we need to grow Sulli. And in order to grow, we need to be apart.

Ha! Reasons. Grow apart daw. Kalokohan. You don't grow by breaking a person's heart. You grow by nurturing. You grow by supporting each other. He doesn't need to broke my heart in order for me to grow.

I don't want you to waste your college years by being bind to me. I want you to explore. Meet new people. And knowing you, as long as I am always there for you, your fine. And I don't want that.

Please Sulli. Please understand that everything I did. I did it for you.

I closed my eyes. Everything he said is right. My world revolves around him, that I forgot those people around me. He wanted me to gain new experience, but what he doesn't understand that I wanted to gain those things with him by my side.

He's unfair. He knows I could not do this. He knows I am weak at this but he is forcing me to go beyond my ability. He's driving me into a corner where I have nowhere to go but in the dark. How unfair.

Humiga ulit ako sa kama at umiyak. I want to cry everything today so that when I face him again, I will be okay. He wants me to move a step towards the place I have no control. And I pray, that I could do it.

Sporting a new shades, I went to school with the nicest dress I could find in my closet. People looked at me, wondering where's the sun, when the weather is so gloomy. But I held my head high, and sat on my chair.

"Good morning, Sulli." Agatha, my seatmate said.

I looked at her and mustered enough courage to reply.

"Morning." I replied a bit harsh but I didn't mean to. She smiled, I can see little angels with trumpets around her. She do have that effect.

"This is a first." I tilted my head wondering what she just said. I mean, alam ko na man na I am rude sometimes, but I am not a snob.

"Is this the first time I greeted you back?" I asked her.

"Uhh uh..." Sagot niya sabang ngiti, showing me those little angels again.

"Lagi ka kasing busy sa phone mo, that when I greet you in the morning, you don't bother to smile or reply back."

I opened my lips to say something but then I realized, that maybe she's right. I am busy replying to Bhram's texts. I bit my lips feeling guilty. I have ignored people wanting to be close to me because of my relationship. I have tunneled my vision on my relationship to Bhram.

"Sorry."

"It's okay."

I looked at her, she's looking infront with a small smile. She looks nice. A bit too nice for me. I tap her shoulder lightly. Napatingin siya sa akin at ngumiti.

"Uhmmm... Can we be friends?" I asked. Her eyes twinkled and when I said that when she smiles there are angles around her, now not only there are angels, flowers are bouncing at every direction with her full-blown smile.

"Of course, Sulli."

Agatha, my seat mate became my first friend after Bhram broke up with me.

Agatha drained me. She's energetic. Too much energy.

"Come one, Sulli. Hurry!"

Halos lakad takbo na gawin ko makasunod lang kay Agatha papuntang field. Her cousin is playing baseball and we need to support him daw.

"Need ba ako dito A?" Tanong ko habang naghahanap kami ng pwedeng upuan.

"Yes, I need you here. You promised to be with me today, to meet new people and make friends right?"

"But A, it's so hot." I argued as we found bleachers clean enough to sit.

"Don't be silly." Tumawa siya sabay abot ng soda sa akin. "How will you meet new people if you're hold up on your room?"

Maybe I was wrong when I said Agatha is nice. She's a bit too much nice for me. I told her everything about me and being friends with her for months is refreshing though she drains my energy. She knows what happened to my past relationship and she understands me.

"Saan ba diyan pinsan mo?" Tanong ko sa kanya, while looking at the people on the field. I have no idea how baseball works. And there are so many of them on the field, it's hard to know whos' who.

"The one pitching. That's my cousin." Agatha pointed the guy, on the center of the diamond like field. I can't make out his face because his far and he has a cap on.

"He's small." I muttered.

Agatha gasped, a bit offended.

"What, I mean his physique is small."

The look of horror on Agatha's face was so hilarious that I could not help but laugh out loud.

"I am joking Agatha." I continued to laugh. Agatha's reaction to things is beyond me. She always makes me smile.

"Wait till you meet him. My cousin is a giant." Bulaslas niya, that makes me laugh more.

His cousin's team won, and I don't know how. Funny how I enjoyed watching baseball even though I don't know how the game works. I just know they won the game because Agatha said they won.

Linking my arms with hers we went to the parking to meet up with her cousin.

"Did you see how August, pitched that last batter? A swinging strikes out Sulli." Agatha continued to praise how good her cousin is.

"Wait" I stopped walking at yumuko, my shoe laces come undone. When I am done, nakita kong nakatingin si Agatha sa kabilang parte ng parking. Napabaling ako doon, and there I saw Bhram. He was laughing. He is having fun with his friemds, some of them knew me but some of them don't. But what struck me the most in that scene, was how his arms was around a girl shoulders. The girl I got jealous before. They look so good together and it hurt. He said he didn't cheat, but did he told me the truth?

Bhram looked at our direction. Nagulat siya at tinanggal agad ang kamay niyang nakapatong sa balikat ng babae.

"Let's go Sulli."

Before Bhram could react more of my presence, Agatha, my friend drag me away.