Not So Hot Girls Summer

5

It was around 5am when I heard a murmur of voices heading down the hallway of the villa. I hadn't slept very well considering the day we had experienced, but more so because Mike wasn't lying next to me.
I climbed out of bed and slid open the bedroom door quietly in order to avoid any attention being drawn to the bedroom. Outside stood the group of boys in the kitchen, including Mike. He stood, leant against the fridge looking incredibly drunk, but smiling with the rest of the group. Satisfied that he was safe and hadn't left the country, like my over thinking had encouraged me to believe, I sneaked back to bed and pretended to return back to sleep in hope that he would eventually enter the bedroom.

Five minutes later, he did.

''Mads,'' he whispered in my ear.
I stirred, pretending that I had been asleep before opening my eyes and putting on a face of gratitude and relief.
''Mike. Where have you been?'' I 'tiredly' grumbled.
''Just out. We had a good night out just us guys.''
''Well that's good,'' I replied, slightly confused where he was heading with this.
''Anyway, I forgive you. Don't worry about it,'' he said before leaning in for a kiss.
It wasn't sincere. It was the drink talking, I could smell it. I wasn't stupid either, he just wanted to have sex. But instead of paying for a prostitute, he knew he had a free one laying in his bed back at the villa- me. This was quite clearly his way into my knickers for the evening. Through lies and affection, taking full advantage of the fact that he knew I was sorry and that all I wanted was him. So, I let him have me. What difference would it have made? It wasn't like I didn't do it for money back home.

We clambered out of bed late the following day. It had gone 11am. I had wasted the morning.
''We're heading out at 12,'' Jordan announced to the remained of the group who were awake and dressed (except Frank of course) as I stumbled out the door feeling ashamed and dirty.
An hour to fully wake up, eat and wash away my sins. It was going to be a challenge on a few hours' sleep. Nevertheless, we stuck to Jordan's time schedule and was out the door by 12, heading directly to the dock to make the 12:25 speedboat. Whilst I was quite excited to be leaving the island, I still remained apprehensive about Mike's next move. Despite sleeping with each other in the early hours of the morning, he clearly wasn't over what he had found out and was just putting on a remarkable show. Not only just in order to sleep with me last night, but still throughout the morning (probably to settle everyone's worries of the animosity that would have arose in the group otherwise). I just knew that very soon; it was all going to come crashing down again. Still, I sat next to him on the speedboat in order to go along with his performance, in hope that there was the smallest potential that perhaps he actually was ok with it. Like I mentioned, I was now desperate.

When we arrived at Gili T, I could have kicked myself. This is the island we should have stayed on. The streets were filled with an abundance of twenty something year olds, all dressed in swimwear as they leisurely strolled the pavements. Each pair of eyes in our group did not stop flickering as we set foot on land, either mesmerized at the sight of so many beautiful people, or in Amelie's world, out of anxiety at the amount of people.
Mike was also looking. He smiled to himself, before capturing the attention of the other guys and winking. It was almost purposeful so I would notice his interest in the other women. But I guess I deserved it.

Despite the party looking as if it was on land, Jordan had booked an excursion for us to sail out on a Catamaran to a coral reef- in fact, I'm sure you heard all about it from Amelie's perspective. Don't get me wrong, it was a nice excursion. The sail out was relaxing, minus Amelie throwing up and the cold water that coated us on the way out, and the snorkelling was enjoyable, but it wasn't overly exciting.
However, what seemed to be common behaviour for the group of this holiday, we split into separate groups, even on the small boat there seemed to be a partition between us, which only widened further when we returned to land. Amelie, James and Jordan went off to a bar whilst the rest of us headed to the ocean swing that Frankie wanted a picture on. Again, I wasn't fussed about pictures, but it was nice to see different parts of the island whilst capturing memories instead of just sitting in a bar getting drunk.

I just wanted us to be together.

There was a queue for the swing when we finally reached it, of course there was, but we had promised Frankie that we would wait, so we did.
''Did you enjoy snorkelling?'' I asked Mike as we waited patiently together.
''Yeah, it was good. Made a change to everything else we had done so far, steering away from the drinking and dancing,'' he replied.
It felt like he was having a dig at everything that had been organised so far- not that I had organised the pool party, Frankie had. I would just have to arrange something more cultural to prove that I wasn't just a party whore which he perceived me to be.

''Yeah, it did make a nice change. You'll have to think of where else you'd like to go. The monkey temples are meant to be good,'' I replied.
I'd done my research.
''Yeah maybe,'' he bluntly replied.
I knew he wasn't ok.
I took Frankie and Caleb's picture. I didn't know what their relationship status was, but they seemed to be acting like a couple. Then she took mine and Mikes. We smiled lovingly for the photo, but that's all it was for, the photo. Clearly neither of us meant it at that moment in time.

''Let's go find the others shall we?'' I asked, jumping off the swing in hope of adding more bodies to the group to escape the awkwardness.
''Yeah, lets,'' replied Josh, who must have been feeling equally as awkward with the four of us.

We found the three of them in a bar laughing and joking amongst themselves. James had clearly plied Amelie with alcohol having given her a swollen lip as she looked happier than she had all holiday.
''Hey guys, want to see the pictures?'' I shouted across the bar.
I was desperately ready to join in with their fun having stood for an hour making awkward conversation with someone that obviously no longer reciprocated the way I felt about them for me.

Caleb got in a round of shots, they were needed, and then the catch up drinking commenced.
Frankie had squeezed in next to Amelie to show her the pictures from the swing, leaving me peering over the top. It was the first time in a couple of days that we had actually properly sat together and had a drink without any drama's and I was finally enjoying it, even if I was staring at a picture of me and Mike falsely looking at each other adoringly.
''You should upload that one to Instagram,'' Frankie stated.
What a lie that would have been, but I guess that's what Instagram was for.

In the moment that social media was mentioned, when we returned our gaze from the phone, we had lost the attention of Amelie. No more than thirty seconds looking at the pictures and she had found her opportunity to return back to conversation with the guys, acting as if we were no longer there.
I looked at Frankie in disbelief that she was acting as if we hadn't existed since we had arrived in Bali. But we ignored it and continued drinking between ourselves, shrugging it off until she finally decided she was leaving.
''Guys, I'm going to shoot off,'' she announced, not long after we had arrived.
It was the most we had spent together all holiday, and now, at only 6pm she was going to leave. It didn't make sense.

''Why? Stop being so boring,'' I instinctively responded, now slightly agitated at her lack of interest in us- her supposed best friends.
She began to bumble on about being tired and getting up early, but we were on holiday, and we had barely seen her...but she didn't seem to care, no matter what I said, she got anxy at me.

''Whatever then, just go,'' I replied defeatedly.
There was no point trying to make someone stay who clearly didn't want to be with us. I had no idea what had got into her, but I wasn't enjoying this side of Amelie.

Not surprisingly, she began to get upset which Jordan immediately responded to, meaning both of them were leaving.

''I knew it. I knew something was going on. It's the bloody Jordan and Amelie show,'' Frankie shouted.
She couldn't help herself. And whilst I would have usually stopped her, she was right.

It was beginning to look like an awkward holiday for 6. This wasn't the hot girl's summer I had planned anymore.