In the middle of the night

Chapter 1

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Mew prayed with his entire heart that this would just be a nightmare - a horrendous, terrifying, and appalling nightmare but much to his dismay, it was a reality.

A reality filled with an endless loop of torment and affliction...

Thick velvet curtains in black, blocked out even the slimmest chances of both the sun and moonlight from peeking through the window's gaps and coloured Mew's condominium to be as dark as the empty night skies. But his poor aching heart felt even darker and lonelier with the absence of the love of his life.

It was only whenever Mew would absentmindedly manipulate the switch of the bedside lamp that a flicker of light would appear as consolation.

No amount of depiction matches up to his desire for a glimmer of light to be shed in his heart.

Gulf who was once his light,
became his source of darkness.

For days and nights, Mew remained on the same spot by Gulf's side of the bed with their shattered photo frame clutched against his chest. He cried incessantly and begged to the empty walls for Gulf to return, but only darkness and silence responded to him.

Both his mental and physical state suffered tremendously.

He was in a dire need of sleep but sleep wasn't an option. Whenever he closed his eyes, he would be pulled back to that dreadful day and he would start crying all over again. If he got to sleep for an hour or two, he would consider himself lucky.

Only heaven knows how long he has been up.

The rainy season painted an even more depressing mood for the miserable man, but Mew sought solace in the weather as he pretended that the sounds of rain pattering down were teardrops from heaven, as they cried along with him.

Mew's body felt heavy, his limbs grew weak, and his head throbbed terribly. On top of that, his eyes were swollen, red, and puffy.

It would be a miracle if someone was able to recognize Mew in his devastated state.

"Gulf..."

Papers scribbled with lyrics were scattered all over his room. Countless crushed, empty beer cans and bottles were strewn all over the floor as well.

It was just him sitting by the pile of trash in his condo.

The trash had become one with him; sleep and alcohol had become his best friends.

Mew was a terrible mess.

As memories of their happy days replayed in his mind, tears filled his eyes once more.

"Gulf..." Mew bawled while he drowned another half-empty can of beer.

"Gulf... why..."

Mew had spent the crawling days drinking his sorrows away and kept himself isolated after the breakup.

The heartbroken man relied solely on alcohol to numb his pain. Mew knew it was stupid but it was the only way to cope with the painful nights.

To aid his addiction, the convenience store was just located below his condo. Buying and constantly indulging in alcohol was easy.

If fans were to see Mew then- they wouldn't be able to recognize the once confident, smiley and cheerful actor.

Mew reeked of alcohol and body odour from not showering for days; his shirt was drenched in tears and had patches of snot. The clean freak had reduced to being one with the mess.

He looked like a disaster - with his oily, unkempt hair, unshaven face, stinky breath and odorous body. Mew went weeks without keeping himself clean.

From a lover to someone who doesn't
want to be my love.
- Mew, Thanos

There isn't a passing day where Mew wouldn't be reminded of their days together. Tears would stream uncontrollably down his face and turn him into a sobbing mess.

He had isolated himself from the world for countless days and weeks; he did nothing except to wallow in his sorrows.

Family members including close friends were not spared from the agonizing worry of not being able to reach Mew after they knew of the breakup.

Even his beloved mother.

Mew knew seeing his mother in his vulnerable state would just ache her even more. And seeing her would remind him of Mama T along with the old memories when both of their family members would hang out with each other.

As much as it pained Mew for pulling this stunt, he wanted to be selfish for once.

Gulf meant everything to him and they believed that they would stay together until their last breaths - as promised.

Losing Gulf was akin to losing his entire world. It was just too much for Mew to bear.

"Gulf... why did you leave me..." He wailed aloud.

He crushed the empty beer can and tossed it across the room at the painful reminder of the broken promises. His fingers were covered in scars caused by the beer cans whenever he crushed them too hard, but the emotional pain outweighed his physical pain.

Mew screamed at the top of his lungs and grabbed the neck of an empty glass bottle to smash it across the room, breaking the painted portrait of them gifted by fans.

The frame dropped and glass pieces shattered everywhere on the floor. The noise quadrupled in the quiet room until Mew burst out crying once more.

Mew then punched the wall with his bruised fist caused by the prior punches he had thrown at the same spot of the wall.

Rather than being mad at Gulf for choosing to walk out on him - Mew was mad at himself for failing to keep Gulf by his side. He blamed himself for the lack of confidence Gulf has in him, that he won't have a change of heart and for falling short on his expectations.

"I'm sorry... Gulf... please come back...I'll do better...please... I'm begging you..." Mew begged but only silence and pain responded to him.