if you were still with me - saiouma

if you were still with me

shuichi stared up at the ceiling with a blank expression.

his breathing was slow and his eyes empty. whatever was left of his hope had simply vanished for the time being.

ouma-kun...

what was burning him inside hurt so much, it was physically impossible to move anything but his eyes. they wandered on the ceiling, stopping at anything that looked out of place.

someone knocked on his door and it opened. 

"saihara...?"

maki's gentle voice called from the door and she walked in.

"you're awake, right?"

he paused and blinked slowly. "...hm..."

she sighed and folded her arms over her chest, glancing away.

"don't... don't blame yourself. you should know it's not your fault we're stuck like this."

if maki was trying to make him feel better, no offense to her, but it wasn't working.

shuichi turned his back to her.

"yeah."

a loud enough of a mumble for her to hear.

"well, you should get up. it would be a waste to spend the day sleeping." and with that, she closed the door quietly.

he would get up if his limbs would work. but no matter how much he tried, nothing seemed to go his way.

nothing ever did, anyway.

~

after a while, shuichi managed to leave his room. it was just to eat, as his stomach didn't really care about the way he felt.

"saihara-kun!" kiibo greeted, standing up.

"morning," he replied and took a seat as the robot boy watched him sadly.

it was easy to read the room, wasn't it?

shuichi didn't plan to stay long. he would just grab something to eat and then go back to his room, disregarding maki's earlier statement.

when he was finished, he began his trip back to his dorm until kiibo's voice echoed from behind him.

"wait... saihara-kun!"

he stopped and glanced over his shoulder as the robot caught up to him.

there was a silence and kiibo shifted forward, a small smile on his face.

"we're here for you, okay? we'll get out of here, i promise!" 

shuichi appreciated his enthusiasm, but something wouldn't sit well with him at that moment. 

"okay." 

leaving kiibo staring after him, he kept his gaze on the ground, watching each tile pass.

how long would he even last in this stupid game? it was about time he died.

death....

he looked up. 

it wouldn't hurt to just... end it here...

right?

he opened the door to his room and hadn't realized the items on the shelf above the door, particularly the stack of books all held together, had been hanging right at the edge until they came crashing down...

on his head.

immediately, he felt lightheaded and his vision went black.

~