[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[142.] Baby, why you saunter?

NOTE:

Art in the following chapters will be by one of my favorite artists. Please, check her out on Instagram, she is quite amazing! Author's permission is granted.

https://www.instagram.com/huli_weiba/

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Inspiration for this chapter's title:

Röyksopp ( feat. Robyn) - "Every Little Thing" 

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Jiang Cheng fell asleep in the carriage too soon, sulking; he hated to admit it, but the wolf hides kept him really warm and reminded him of Zewu-Jun too much, and he felt protected, and just couldn't help it. 

He was sulking, because Lan Xichen had insisted on riding that day, as they were approaching Gusu quickly; it could be felt even in the climate changing. They had started very early in the frosty morning, as Jiang Cheng had wailed for him to  "take me home, Zewu-Jun!!!",  and they had to wake the inn keeper up in order to pay for their stay.

He was sulking, because he was very much aware that he was being childish, and because he knew that Lan Huan was expecting trouble. The Yunmeng Jiang Clan had other allies too; perhaps for them the war wasn't over yet. It was a display of power that he hated, and he knew that he had to show strength if they were to stay out of any future conflicts. It made him worried, and nervous  –  mostly because of their baby.

He was also sulking, because he missed him...  He needed the sense of security Lan Huan inevitably brought along with his very aura, with his very presence. He was loath to admit it, but as his belly grew, and as the due date was approaching, his heart was filling up with dread. 

Was everything going to be alright? Would he be able to endure the pain? What if he lost the most precious they had? Would Zewu-Jun still love him? Would he blame him? Would he still want him? 

The thoughts were stopping air's access to his lungs, and he couldn't breathe, terrified.


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He woke up to gentle fingertips slowly caressing his hair. He smiled faintly  –  he realized that Zewu-Jun had undone his hair again, and was now stroking all through its length. On most days he would do his hair quite on purpose  –  just so that his husband could play with it while undoing the braids; it gave him so much pleasure. Now he regretted having missed that little moment, it was so precious to him. 

He rubbed his eyes sleepily.

- Are you hungry, little kitten?  –  Lan Xichen asked sweetly.

- No... No, I think not, my love. I was so warm... Thank you... It is so good to have you near... Huan...

He snuggled into Zewu-Jun's body, using every precious second just to be close to him. He tried to decipher the time by the light outside, but it was murky, and it was snowing lightly.

- Are we almost there? I think I'll eat when we get home... -  he mumbled.  –  I am so tired that I am not really hungry.

- Mmmm, a couple more hours to go, darling. But soon. I thought you might be peckish, the breakfast was really light.  –  Lan Huan said thoughtfully.

- So you left my brother all alone outside, and came to see me? Just to ask if I was hungry?  -  Jiang Wanyin grinned, content, now fully awake and approving.

- Hmmm, Wanyin, I think that Wei Qianbei is fully capable to finish off  20 men single-handedly!  –  Lan Xichen smirked, but was also blushing.

- Too true.  -  Jiang Wanyin's face darkened.  –  Perhaps even 50. He looks like a fool, but he is a damn skilled cultivator. Much better than me...  -  he mumbled.

- Oh, darling...  -  Zewu-Jun leaned in and kissed the top of his head.  –  It is not a competition! But it is good to have him... on our side. Just in case.  –  he frowned.

Sandu Shengshou frowned too, and they were silent, brooding. The new year was promising even more problems and hardships.

- Will you be by my side?  –  he whispered, finally.  –  In a new war, will you stay with me?

Lan Xichen looked down and his eyes met with the large girlish cat eyes that were staring into his face earnestly, openly. He bit his lip;  Jin Guangyao had never looked at him with such trust, with so much faith.

- I swear it.  –  he said briefly, but very seriously.