To Be the Stolen

Hallucinations

Never trust your eyes because they very well may be playing tricks on you.

I was seven when the treatments started. The sickness had begun only a month before, but the symptoms were progressing at an alarming rate. It all began when I had that very first hallucination. I was lying on my stomach, doodling in the park, when I felt like someone was watching me. Looking up from my drawing of a dog, I saw a woman sitting on the bench a couple of feet away from me. 

I had never seen her before which now that I'm older I realize was strange enough as it is, given the fact that we lived in a tight knit community and strangers had no place there. As a child, however, it wasn't her being out of place that confused me, but how she stared at me. Her gaze was tender and held so much affection it scared me. My own mother didn't look at me with so much care, so it just came off as creepy instead of comforting.

I looked away quickly but had to get another peak of the strange lady. Only issue was, when I looked back up not only was she gone, but the bench itself was missing from the equation. I hurriedly shot up and went to go tell my mother about the weird happening. Oddly enough though, my mom seemed to believe me, asking me all sorts of questions about the woman. I answered as best I could and after some intense interrogation, my mom looked mortified. 

She explained the there was never a bench near where I was playing, and there was no one that fit that description in our community. She chocked it all up to being my imagination, but I remember feeling like she believed me because even though her mouth denied what I saw, her actions said otherwise. That was the last time we went to the park.

The next occurrence happened less than a week after the park incident. I was in my parents bathroom playing in my mother's makeup when something odd happened. I had been looking in the mirror, applying what was probably my ninth layer of lipstick, when I noticed my eyes looked a different color. In awe, I stood on the step stool leaning as far as I could over the sink to get a better look. My eyes which were normally a dark brown color, were a dazzling gold color and the longer I peered into them the more I became lost in their depths. I could see a whole world in those new eyes of mine. Everything was depicted like golden sand in an hourglass, moving and taking shapes.

The shining sands created the strangest scene, there were dogs surrounding a castle. I leaned closer, no not surrounding, they were defending it! The sand suddenly settled but quickly rose and danced creating another scene. I could see a little boy who looked to be slightly older than me and he was crying. I couldn't make out much of him seeing as the sand was not the most detailed medium, but I felt so sad suddenly that I whimpered, and that's when it happened. The boy seemed to stop crying in his hands and looked up right at me. The surprise of his action scared me so bad I shot away from the mirror, causing me to trip and come crashing on my butt.

Rubbing my sore bottom, I gathered my step stool which had crashed loudly against the wall and took a look at myself. To my disappointment, my eyes were brown once more. The new world was closed to me, and I began to cry. That's how my father found me, leaning against the sink sobbing. I didn't even know why I was so sad but maybe I knew deep down I'd lost something very important. After he got me to settle down a little, he asked the million-dollar question,

"What In the world happened Joanna?"

With teary eyes and a quiver to my voice, I told him about how my eyes changed colors and I told him about the dancing sand in them and how it told stories. My father tensed at mention of my eyes changing colors, but he had me in an almost painful hold as I told him about a castle guarded by dogs. At my noise of displeasure, he relaxed his hold and told me to continue. I remember being uncomfortable with the thought of telling him about the boy. For some reason, I got the foreign feeling that I needed to lie.

"There was a boy dad...he was really sad. I couldn't really tell who he was though. All his crying made me sad though, so I started crying."

I looked up at my father to see if he believed me and caught a glimpse of a very scary look on his face. His hand once again gripped my arm and his voice came out dark,

"Do you think the boy saw you?"

I was alarmed at his question. How could he know that, I thought, but in response I shook my head vigorously.

"He was crying like this dad," I said making the motion of crying into my hands.

I then raised my head saying, "then he was gone, and my eyes were normal."

At that last part my dad visibly relaxed, but I was scared. His reaction to the boy was weird, my dad never looked scary before, and at the time I could count on one hand when I'd even seen him frown.

"Dad is something wrong?"

A sad look clouded his face as he nodded, "Joanna honey I think you might be sick."

"No dad, I'm ok see," I say putting his hand on my head. He lets his hand drop, and somberly explains,

"Joanna you've been seeing things. Your mom told me about what you saw at the park, and now this. This type of sickness is in your brain. I've seen this before, 11 times actually, and all of those people ended up hurting themselves and others because they couldn't tell what was real or fake anymore."

At that point I was full on panicking and blurted out the only thing seven-year-old me cared about,

"You really saw this 11 whole times!?"

He nodded, "but there is some hope. You said the boy didn't look at you which means you aren't as sick as the others; you also haven't heard any voices in your cute little head which is a good sign. we don't have to make you take any nasty medicine since it's not that bad."

Guilt and fear hit me like a tidal wave. I was lying about the boy not looking at me, so I dodged the medicine, but I lied about him not looking at me, so I needed the medicine. I knew I would never hurt anyone though, so I bit my tongue and grinned up at him in confirmation.

The last strike was right before the commune got attacked. I was taking a walk with my parents through the commune grounds when all of a sudden, I was seeing things differently. It was like I was a passenger in my own body. I looked around myself, up at my parents and at everyone passing us. We had just decided to leave the area when my parents noticed I was being really quiet. I heard my mother gasp and my father curse as I looked between them. All of sudden everything went dark, and I felt my dad pick me up, carrying me at a fast pace back to our home.

When we arrived home, my dad sent for the leader to come by and the doctor, and I knew what was going to happen next. They knew I was sick and now I had to take medicine before I became a bad guy. Eventually I heard our front door open and then multiple voices talking at once. I couldn't understand what they were saying because there were too many, and I was getting a headache.

"They're going to force us apart" A new voice says to me clear as day.

It sounded like She was sitting next to me, but I couldn't feel her when I reached for her, and I was done getting in trouble, so I wasn't going to move from the spot my parents placed me in. My eyes were still covered making me feel very vulnerable, so I asked,

"Who are you? What do you mean?"

"Its okay, I've called for help." The lady cooed and her voice was so soothing that for a moment I forgot I was scared. That was until my dad spoke up.

"Joanna who are you talking to? Answer me now!"

"There's a lady in here dad. Can't you see her? She wants to help me, that's why she's called the doctor."

The silence that filled the room was palpable. Then Dr. Tomlinson spoke up.

"You see my dear there's no one but your parents, Mr. Jacobi, and I here with you. I was called by your father not a woman."

He warned me that I might hear voices if it was super bad but I didn't know it would sound so real, I was becoming afraid of myself.

"Is she just a voice in my head, like dad warned me about?"

My question was met with complete silence as a more pressing question weighed down on everyone in the room. I turned my head in the direction of everyone's voices, swallowing thickly.

"Then what help did she just send for?"