The Prodigy

Clone Gunman

Before a meeting one morning, Brett and I waited for Reagan. "Hey, there she is." I said. "Hey partner!" They both greeted with a handshake. "Hey, Lisa." Reagan said to me. "It's my second week and my third can of Axe body spray." Brett said, spraying himself, coughing right after. "Oh, God. You ready to carpe that motherfucking diem, girls?" "Hell yeah!" I exclaimed. "Yeah, I'm ready to make a d-d-difference!" Reagan shouted. "Yeah, I like that. That's fun. Okay, let's go in there and change the world." Once she opened the door, all we saw was Glenn, Gigi, Andre, and Myc having a paintball battle. "What the hell? This place is a mess!" Reagan exclaimed." "Rae-Dog, cut them some slack." Brett said. "We almost got nuked." "And then, Brett told me that the gang had to go straight into a cover up." I added. "I had to implant a subdermal shock collar in the president." Andre explains, showing a video of the real president having a press conference. "I had to reheat the Cold War." Glenn scoffed. "I had to derail a whole news cycle by leaking Prince Charles's nudes." Gigi added, showing us a naked picture of Prince Charles. "No one was happy about that." "But, who's gonna pay for all this damage?" I asked. "Relax, kid, we have more money than God." Myc replied, handing a globe and a baseball bat to Reagan. "Yeah. What's the point of unchecked power if we don't abuse it?" Reagan wondered, hitting the globe towards the screen. "WE'RE OUT OF MONEY!" JR panicked on the screen before it was shattered by the globe.

Later at lunch, I told the gang about the inventions I made. "And my most recent project is my animal communication implant, which I created specifically for my cat. I even filmed a video of him snorting catnip, which reminded me of Andre." I laughed, showing them the video of Rocky. "Holy shit. That is Andre." Myc joked. All of a sudden, Brett came in the room, looking nauseous. "We have to fire someone!" Brett announced, vomiting in the trash can. All we did was gasp. Reagan slapped herself on the forehead. "You good, Brett?" I asked. "Look, skip the part where we pretend this is a hard decision and just fire Myc." Gigi said. "Hey, fuck you, shoulder pads." Myc cursed. "If I'm going down, I'm taking you all down with me!" "I'M NOT RETIRING WITHOUT A FIGHT!" Glenn shouted, flipping the table, running to a planter, showing some hidden weapons. "I KNOW WHERE THE WEAPONS ARE HIDDEN IN EVERY ROOM!" "It's gonna be me, isn't it" I asked. "It's always the minor who gets fired for no goddamn reason!" "Guys, don't freak out." Reagan reassures us. "We haven't made a decision yet. Just stay calm and don't go gossip." As Reagan and Brett left, me and the gang looked at each other. "We're all thinking it." Myc said.

We all decided to head to McUltra's for a drink. I ordered a root beer and sat at the bar with my coworkers. "Can you believe they'd even think of firing me?" Andre asked. "I've invented almost as many cures as diseases." "I need my pension, you guys." Glenn said. "Dolphins only live 60 years in captivity, and I'm 51." "Not many jobs will accept me for being a minor." I explained. "But, damn it! I can't be stuck giving an employee discount to Rand Ridley at Wetzel's Pretzels for the rest of my life." "And I am not going back to my last job doing PR for the Kims." Gigi complained. "Kardashian and Jong Un. One of them has killed hundreds, and it's not the one you think." "Guys, I know how we're gonna keep our jobs." Myc said. "Stop taking 3 hour lunches and coming back drunk?" Glenn asked. "LOL, Glenn, no, that's a good idea. Just kidding, you idiot, you simpleton, no." Myc replied, standing on top of the bar with his whiskey. "We're not gonna fucking do that. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna kiss ass like we've never kissed ass before!"

I was reading my book when Reagan and Brett came in with some news. "Guys, you'll be happy to hear..." Reagan announced. "Reagan! I'm ahead of all my deadlines, and so I started tiding up." Andre interrupted. "It's true what they say, meth really is the Adderall of cocaines!" "Is that why it smells like meth in here?" I asked. "And I had my makeup team whip up a little youth serum for your skin." Gigi explains, putting the stuff on Reagan's skin. "Wow, I look like an after photo." Reagan said. "Reagan, I've been doing some soul searching lately, and..." Myc said, shoving Gigi aside. "You mean searching for a soul?" Reagan asked. "Eat my ass, bitch... is what old Myc would've said." Myc replied. "But, new Myc says, "O Captain! My captain!"" "And I resolved the Israeli-Palestine conflict." Glenn said. "But I can put it back if you want." "And I did absolutely nothing." I added. "Why? Because my coworkers are being delusional as hell." "Guys." Brett said. "We've decided to fire..." "Nobody, yet. So many factors." Reagan interrupted.