The Prodigy

Ghost Protocol

Spoilers for Breaking Bad in this chapter. Whether you have watched the show or not, you have been warned. Unless it's not true. I don't plan on watching it. -Mal.

So, it's only been a day since Tamiko's wedding and Reagan apparently had the time of her life with the guy that came to rescue us. Apparently his name was Rafe Masters. And yes, they have been banging. I think. If I'm being honest, we were all looking forward to seeing Reagan after losing her virginity. Reagan came into HQ wearing her dress, which had blood stains on it for some reason. "Hey Reagan." Brett greeted playfully. "You were fucking hilarious last night." Myc recalled. "I hereby bestow my title of office wild card to you, Reagan." Andre said. "So, how was it?" I asked. "How was what?" Reagan groaned. "Oh, come on." Gigi replied. "We saw you making out with the Masters, Rafe Masters." "Please stop saying it like that." Reagan begged, taking some pain meds. "We need to know everything." Andre demanded. "What's his pube situation?" "Do his condoms look like little tuxedos?" Myc asked. "What happens in the bedroom is nobody's business except Congress." Glenn intervened. "But in this case, I'll allow it. Dish, girl." "Guys, there's not much to tell." Reagan confessed. "Forgettable sex, only five or six casualties, a fling." "Ugh, I've always wanted to be a superspy." Brett said. "I used to watch all the James Bond movies. I even had a secret identity. In public, my parents would tell people I was someone else's kid." "Yeesh." I commented after an awkward silence. "Brett's repressed trauma aside, it was just a one night thing." Reagan explained. "I'll probably never see the guy again." All of a sudden, Rafe burst open the doors of HQ. "Hello, all." Rafe greeted. "Holy shit!" Reagan, Brett, and I shouted. "Team, I'm not sure if you remember Agent Masters, other than Lisa, but seeing as he really saved our bums during that whole Flat-Earth pirate situation..." JR said. "That was me!" Reagan exclaimed. "I made an explosive out of an Amazon Alexa." "...we're going to be helping him out with an MI6 mission, stopping his evil nemesis, Dr Skullfinger, who currently, by the way, resides in a gorgeous seven bedroom, eight bathroom lair with 360 ocean views..." JR continues. "Scoundrel." Rafe grumbles. "...from unleashing a powerful mind control device on the populace." JR finished. "But, we use mind control all the time." I pointed out. "Like our memory erasers." Andre added. "Just last week, I used one on myself to forget the ending of Breaking Bad so I could rewatch it." "Walt dies, Jesse lives, big deal." Myc spoils. "Goddamn it!" Andre complains, erasing that from his mind. "But Skullfinger's device is far more powerful. This thing can wipe your whole mind clean. It's way more evil. So, we have to eliminate the competition. Reagan and Lisa, I want you two designing Rafe's gadgets and running point from the surveillance boat." Reagan wasn't in the mood, Rafe was looking at Reagan flirtatiously, and I was secretly fangirling about building weapons. "Hey, let me know if you need a bitchin' Spotify playlist." Brett offered. "Oh, my God, a spot-i-spy playlist. Oh, oh!" "Nice." I chuckled. "You can just send it to my work email. I kinda need some song suggestions." "I'll make the puns around here, thank you." Rafe said sternly. "Please like me." Brett chuckled nervously. "Rafe, so glad to be working with you." Reagan said sarcastically. "Yes. I can't wait to bond, Team Bond." Rafe joked as he and JR left HQ in laughter. "Shit. Shit. Shit. I cannot believe this." Reagan grunted in frustration. "I can't work with someone I've hooked up with." "Can't you just tell him you're not interested?" Gigi asked. "You're usually Miss Brutal Honesty. Remember when you made Glenn cry at his own birthday?" "I was dancing too confidently, and I needed to hear it." Glenn explains. "It's different with relationships." Reagan replied. "Everybody I've ever broken up with makes me feel like the bad guy just for being direct. From now on, my new strategy is to avoid hurt feelings, send zero signals, and just hope the guy gets the message." "How in God's name would that ever work?!" I asked. "At this point, he'll be bound to propose to you."

Later that night, after crafting some weapons for Rafe, Reagan and I guided him over the radio as soon as he released his parachute over the island lair. I gotta say, it's actually a pretty nice place from the pictures that JR showed me. "To the left." I instructed. "Now a little, a little to the right. Okay. Now, make your entry as quietly as possible." "Nice of me to drop in." Rafe said, completely ignoring me. "Rafe, what the fuck? You're supposed to be a secret agent." Reagan groaned. "And why are you wearing a tuxedo? This is a covert mission. It's not the Emmys." "Sorry, love. Loudly is the only way I know how to enter." Rafe apologized. "Come on, man!" Reagan complained, and everyone else was impressed. "Can we just keep things professional, please? Twelve bogeys approaching." "Initiate Shoe-merang!" I exclaimed. "Shoe-merang?" Myc asked. "Piss off, Myc!" I cursed. "You try making weapons at the last fucking minute!" "Sorry, gentlemen, just need to tie these laces." Rafe lied, activating my invention, taking out the goons by boomerang. "May God rest your soles." I turned to Myc again and flipped him off. Me and everyone else applauded. I knew Aunt Darcy's 'lucky boomerang' would come in handy. "This man is the Michael Jordan of casual murder." Glenn cried. "Okay, Rafe, now you just need to find the machine." Reagan said. "Well, if it isn't the constant thorn in my side, Rafe Masters." Skullfinger said. "Dr Skullfinger." Rafe rolled his eyes. "Seems I've managed to penetrate your defenses." "I assure you, that's the last thing you'll be penetrating." Skullfinger explains. "Are you sensing some kind of vibe between these two?" Gigi asked. "If you mean Dr Drakken and Kim Possible, then yes." I replied. "Glenn knows what I'm talking about." "I don't know. Everything this guy says is horny." Reagan groaned. "Behold Project Gaslight." Skullfinger reveals his device with a very interesting design. "Ha! Looks like a dick!" Andre and Myc laughed. "Beat me to it." Myc added. "Ever since I fell in that vat of skulls and became wickedly twisted, I dreamed of this day." Skullfinger explained. "Rafe, it's time." Reagan instructed. "Release the nano bots." "Skullfinger, prepare to receive my load." Rafe said. "Okay, yeah. I do hear it." Reagan said, just as Rafe released Reagan's nano bots to dismantle the machine. "What? No, my beautiful machine!" Skullfinger cried. "Where on earth did you acquire such advanced technology?" "From my new girlfriend." Rafe replied, giving all the credit to Reagan. "Whoa! We did not discuss that!" Reagan shouted as the rest of the gang began laughing. "Damn you, Masters!" Skullfinger yelled, pinned down on the ground. "I couldn't have done this without your wonderful gadgets, Reagan, and now that we've gotten rid of the skull, it's time to finger." Rafe complimented. Our team continued to laugh along with Rafe. Reagan and I were just annoyed by him. "Okay, fuck it, I gotta break things off with this guy." Reagan grunted. "Screw him." I added.