What am I doing I ask myself that every once in a while what am I still doing, I have a few passions and friends in my life but I wonder do I really deserve them do I deserve to have happiness in my life
My first passion I try to be unique and creative making a persona that isn't me but still has traces of my personality within it, my reward being blackballed from every sector but one that understands me and doesn't think I'm a monster but maybe I am
I share my second passion in the for of writing stories with the help two men who don't judge but actually appreciate my different style and unique tastes these men I consider more then my friends I consider them my blood with a special connection but is it real
Do these men actually like the things we write together or do they just write just make me happy and if so am I abusing them like some for of Stockholm syndrome and if so maybe I should cut myself like some sort cancer and remove myself from their lives to make them better
In my mind I see the proverbial razor that made us blood brothers and I think about dragging it starting from me ankle to my right thigh and the same on my left finally going coast to coast on my throat would that make things feel better I don't know but I don't know tomorrow is new day and I'll ask myself again
