June, 1826
How strange you felt, at this moment. Everything felt surreal as you looked at your lover, Robert Gray. He was beautiful- in an unconventional way. Many would argue that he was hideous and strange. But you knew him in a way nobody else had taken the time for. This was one of the reasons he loved you. While many mocked and ridiculed him, you were different.
~~~
It all started when you had gone to the circus one day. Prior to this day you had known of Robert. Of course, you would pass him on the side walk or perhaps bump into him at the market. While you didn't think twice about the encounters, only giving a small smile and a "hello", Bob held onto these brief moments in your presence. He had always thought you were enchanting. The way your sparkling (e/c) eyes would glance in his direction, or the way your lips would curl ever so slightly up into a smile. It mesmerized him. You were an angel in his eyes. An angel he believed would never be his; for he was a freak. At least that's what every one else had thought of him. Often getting made fun of for his teeth, disabilities, eyes, etc.
But then one day a couple of friends convinced you to go to the town's circus. It wasn't that you had an aversion to it. You were just very busy at this time in your life. However, on this day you were free and intended to spend the day with some friends. So, you and your group decided to go watch the performances- you thought getting some popcorn or cotton candy sounded amazing, anyway.
Since you hadn't gotten out much lately you were actually very excited. You put on one of your nicest dresses, pulled on your stockings, and laced up your favorite boots. When you had sufficiently dolled yourself up you met with your friends at a nearby park and made your way to the circus.
It was amazing. You hadn't been since you were just a small child, so this was magical- and a little overwhelming- to say the least. For a while you and your friends roamed. You got your palms read, watched the sword swallowers and fire breathers, and of course, you got yourself some popcorn. Just when you thought you guys had seen it all a loud man announced one final act.
"Don't leave just yet folks we have one last act for ya' today! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cheer. Introducing, Pennywise the Dancing Clown!"
The red curtains drew back slowly as the man bows in a presenting manner and walks off stage. Behind the curtains a large man emerges. His hair was a bright orange, the white paint on his face was interrupted by the red line coming from his lips, up to his eyes. The makeup was complete with the red painted tip of his nose.
As the clown emerged everyone began to cheer. The children, especially, loved him. He began doing his act, dancing and telling jokes; and you were thoroughly enjoying yourself, as were your friends.
Then something a little strange happened. In the middle of a joke, before the clown had reached the punchline, your eyes locked. He stumbled over his words at this point. After a couple seconds he laughed it off and the crowd laughed along, thinking it was part of the act.
When The Dancing Clown had finished up his performance he hurried back stage and then to his trailer. Robert couldn't believe what he had seen. The women he saw as an ethereal being was at his circus. Not only that, but she saw him look like a fool onstage.
He decided this was his chance. He was going to talk to you. So he quickly scrubbed off his makeup, put on his best clothes, took off the orange wig and tidied up his hair, and looked over himself in the mirror. Dread came over him quickly. He saw his lazy eyes, buck teeth, and strange build- very tall, very lanky. He looked at his clothes, even though they were the best he had, they weren't much. He took a deep breath and walked out the door. He built up his nerve for this moment and if he didn't go now he would lose his courage.
You were waiting near the bathrooms for your friends to finish up their business. After the last performance you guys decided you'd head out and find something else to do, but everyone needed a quick bathroom break beforehand. You were glancing around the circus, taking in all the sights that you had maybe missed before. There was a lot to see after all.
A quiet voice took you out of your thoughts. "Hello...", a man's voice, making you turn slowly to face him. You had to look up quite a bit to make eye contact with this seemingly gentle giant. "Hi," you replied enthusiastically. You weren't shy, especially since you were sort of familiar with the man before you.
You and Robert talked for a long while. He had taken you to get some cotton candy and he even introduced you to some of the other performers. The more you talked to him, the more you could feel the undeniable connection. While you had never had a real conversation with him before, there was a pang of guilt in your chest. It wasn't personal, but you had just never really paid any mind to him.
However, now that you've gotten to know him you decided that maybe it was time you start seeing him more. You continued to listen to him. It was evident that he was becoming more and more comfortable as the time passed.
Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, "(Y/N)!! We've been looking for you! What in bloody hell have you been doing?" It was your friend Adelia. She had worry in her face looking at you and the man sitting in front of you.
"Calm down. I was just talking to Robert while you all were in the toilets." Your reply was calm, however, there was look of disgust on Adelia's face when her gaze turned to Robert, that made your blood start to boil. You knew how the townspeople treated this poor, beautiful man and you were not about to let one of your friends do the same. You gave her a look telling her to choose any words she may have about him very carefully.
"Well, we must get going. The other's decided they'd like to go to the theatre, and the performance will be starting shortly." She replied, curtly. You could tell she was upset about you talking to Robert. You loved her to pieces, but she could be a little image-obsessed at times. So, her closest confidant talking to one of the lowest on this town's "food chain" didn't make her particularly happy.
You nodded with a sigh and stood. Robert's face fell, but he quickly replaced his sadness with a pained smile, trying not to look as upset as his poor little heart felt. He stood as well and you gave him a small smile.
You grabbed his hand very gently, as if it would break at your touch. He stiffened, not being used to physical touch. "It was great talking to you Robert. Please, let's meet again soon." And with that you gave his hand a little squeeze and made your way back to your group, a fuming Adelia in tow.
Robert stood there still, watching as you left. A hint of a smile crept onto the sweet man's face. He had a sad view of this world and didn't imagine his life would improve much, until now. The world had beaten and bruised him all his life, but perhaps, if he had his ethereal girl, it wouldn't be so bad...
