Summary: Y/N does her best to help Hanji cope and let go their stress, even if it's just for the moment~♡
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Third Person POV
"I'm tired..."
The words fall from commander Hanji's lips in an exhausted sigh as they sit in the brightly lit room alone. Or so they thought.
Everyone else has left, but you didn't. You knew the responsibility of being commander took a toll on Hanji's happiness along with loosing Erwin and Moblit. Hanji always knew life wasn't in anyone's favor ever since Titans reappeared but at least they had an escape and people who made them feel as if they had family. They miss the days of working in the lab on Sawney and Bean, sitting you in their lap while writing notes or you bringing food if they ignored their growling stomach. The cute dates you two would have were never forgotten either, Hanji would kill to have more...it's been two years since the last one back at that beach. They're mentally burnt out and seeing them so stressed everyday is depressing, especially when Hanji use to be the opposite. Their bubbly and talkative mannerism, shrieks of joy when discovering something more about titans or spending time with you, taunting Levi, it was rare to see Hanji upset too. But now, well you know how it is and it hurts.
"Hanji, you're doing your best, okay? Look at me." You say rubbing their back. "...I know I am, that doesn't mean it's good enough."
"Don't beat yourself up like that we've made it this far haven't we?"
"I'll be the same reason people die an unneeded death too, my leadership isn't like Erwin's." Hanji's now leaned back in the chair letting you see their sorrowful expression and dull eyes, it broke your heart a little. "You know what messes me up the most though, darling?" Hanji questions.
"What?"
They gesture for you to sit in their lap facing them which you comply before getting a response. "It's loosing another one who I love. That person being you. You're beyond important to me. Leading the right way isn't all of my concern. We haven't spent quality time together in God knows how long and what if you died tomorrow or seconds from now? I've taught myself to accept the inevitable of loosing someone but I can't when it comes to you, I just can't and don't want to..."
"Babe, you shouldn't worry about that I'm still here with you. I'm sure it's difficult not to but look." You lovingly pepper Hanji's face in kisses leaning into them as they hug you tight. You missed feeling that embrace. "You felt all those kisses right? So I'm still here, times are more hectic but nothing's taking me from you that easily. We will live out our dreams when this is over. You also don't have to be like Erwin because all you need is to try your best, to do what you can or regret the least. Erwin knew you wouldn't be just like him but he still picked you. Why? Because he trusted you enough so you should trust yourself too. We admire you Hanji especially me."
They never looked at it that way. Hanji replays that sentence in their head realizing you have a great point. Why else would he have chosen them to take a huge responsibility? That says something right? Comfortable silence consumes the room for some time before Hanji speaks feeling more at ease now.
"Thank you sweetie. For simply being here and believing in me, I hope you're right." You spot a soft glimmer in your lover's warm eyes after they kiss your lips. The same glimmer that makes your heart melt..the old Hanji is still in there. "And yes, I did feel your kisses hehe."
"I'm glad, I love you hun."
"I love you more, darling."
|Nightfall at 10:20 pm|
"Hanji, I came back from Niccolo's place! I hope you like seafood!" You bring them the styrofoam tray filled with shrimp, lobster leg meat, two corn on the cobs, and pasta. "Woah, Niccolo never fails to cook up mouthwatering dishes! It's definitely enough for the both of us. Let me hold this so you can climb in bed."
"Sounds good!" You hand the tray and climb in before Hanji sets it in-between you both, the delicious aroma growing stronger. "Is there part of the tray you ordered specifically for yourself or we're sharing everything?" They ask followed by a giggle seeing you stare at the food like you had to babysit it "Huh? O-oh! We're sharing everything, sorry!" "It's all good, love! I don't blame you. Now, let's dig in yeah?"
"Yes please!" You wrap yourself in the blanket as much as possible without making a mess before chowing down on shrimp as Hanji eats some of the lobster meat. The whole tray being emptied in a span of thirty minutes to an hour. You could see why Sasha obsessed over the chef's food. From bread and potatoes to this? What an upgrade to live for! Despite that now you're both stuffed like ducks. "That is so freakin' good. I'll have to thank Niccolo in the morning..are you getting sleepy, Y/N?"
"A little bit. I want to read a book of yours before I go to bed though, like old times."
"Of course! Here, wear my glasses while you're at it! You always look adorable with them." You close your eyes as Hanji places their eye glasses onto your face. "Awww look at you!" They gush in glee with that lit up face you know and love. "Now here's one of my favorite books. It's different theories other scientists had on titans long before we were even born! Very intriguing work in my opinion."
"I'm sure it is." You smile back uncontrollably.
"I hope you keep that smile, it'll be enough to give me the will to live each day."
"Same goes to you, Hanji.."
• • •
[As long as you're next to me, just the two of us.]
