when's it my turn?

Pt. 1

what's up.
I guess this is gonna be the beginning of my adventure here.
really I'm just here because I have nothing else to do. No one to listen to the pain I've been out through. The decisions of others caused my life to change and never be the same again.

I'm in nothing but an endless pit of sorrow.
Patiently awaiting my death.
I do not wish to die, I have a few people I truly love.

My boyfriend will, My best friend Austin, and my sister Alaina. That's who I live for. That's why I'm here.

my boyfriend- sound asleep on call.

again. I'm mainly here for him.

The simple pleasure of seeing his face and his smile make me happier than anything ever has.

as a kid, age 1-almost 3, I was almost put in the system..my grandparents taking me in "last minute." "Because they loved me."

Never heard such a lie in my entire life.

I lived in a town near a pretty good area. My grandpa was a carpenter and my grandma a nurse. I also lived with my great grandma, but being too old to work she just stayed at home eating circus peanuts and watching shows on her big t.v that I would go into her room to watch my shows on since I was just given a pink box t.v.

Anyways, as a little kid too young for school, I went to a Christian private school thing, and then for pre-k and kindergarten. Then I went to a normal, but wealthy elementary. We mainly lived off my great grandmas income, she ran multiple restaurants and businesses in the past, lots of dollars coming in checks monthly.

I guess my grandma soon realized my great grandma would definitely be dying soon as she was turning 90, so she decided to move to (state) with my aunt and uncle.

We bought a house next to theirs on a farm. That's when things went downhill. I already wasn't used to the poorer, country things down here. I was used to rich city type shit, so it wasn't easy adjusting. But I soon found out I loved mud and playing in it.

My grandma was a control freak.

A horrible one.

She wouldn't let me go outside.

Especially since the first couple months of living here, I broke out in hives and almost died. She blamed it on everything, limiting what I could eat or drink thinking it was food dye, and when I could and couldn't go outside.

Our house was being built so we lived with my cousins for a while, it was fun but tiring.

Eventually, our house was done, we moved into this beautiful home. It is basically a large trailer. I can't remember the name for it. It starts with a C I do believe. It's got foundation and everything too.

I was forced to get a lot of things I wasn't happy with getting. I liked the simple things. They made me wear embarrassing things and do embarrassing things my whole life living here. That wasn't the bad part though.

The bad part is the things they said, they way they "disciplined me"

I'm entirely fine now.
It's been said and done and it's over with.

But it still hurts to know the people who saved my life, took me "out of pity" but really wanted money and control.

I'm not going into detail. I don't want them to get in trouble. I know they did wrong to me and their own kids, but im over it. It's fine. It's done with.

Sorry. This is as much as im gonna write rn. Im tired af. Don't worry about me. Yes everything I will write is true. It's been dealt with. I don't want cops being called, I don't need them dying in jail. They don't have much time so I might as well let them live it freely. I don't mind.  I love you guys and thank you so much <333

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