Please love me more than I hate myself||Hyunchan ff

11

They sat down and Changbin reproached himself for not taking care of Hyunjin, he was lost in his thoughts till Chan ripped him out of them.
„Changbin? We need to talk. About Hyunjin."
He sighed
„I know..."

„Hyunjin? The others are gone. Do you mind weighing yourself now?"
„Mhm..." he knew he had no choice then to listen to the nurse. Slowly he pulled up his black hoodie. Luckily he had a longsleeve underneath so she wouldn't see his fat body and also not the marks. Then he slowly started to pull down his trousers. He was afraid, that the nurse now thought that he was overweight, or even worse, she would tell Changbin and Chan...
Before he could stress himself even more Mr. Kim started talking
„The shirt too!" her voice didn't tolerate any kind of contradiction, so he did. When he had finished, he started feeling cold and he got goosebumps.
„Ok now I'll first take your height. Your brother said it is about 1.70 let's see." Hyunjin had to stay against the wall with his back and she took the data.
„He was right. You are 1.70m tall. Now please step on the scale." his heart dropped. And he walked to the scale with shaky legs. He didn't bare to look down to see his weight.
„Ok I have it. You can get dressed again."
He did and she started tipping something into the computer. Nervously Hyunjin sat their in silence. He hated it when it was completely quiet. He was able to hear all the small disturbing sounds and at the same time, nothing was there to stop his thoughts...

„Changbin? We need to talk. About Hyunjin."
He sighed
„I know..."
„I saw today, and I'm pretty sure you already saw the state he is in. He is light as fuck, extremely pale, always tired or cold and now he collapsed and has a big bruise around his neck. Changbin What the fuck is going on?!" Chan got angry. Changbin was Hyunjins brother and he knew for a while that something was wrong, so why hadn't he done anything?
„I-i... where should I start?"
„At the beginning?!"
„Ok... so I think it started when our parents got divorced. He started to be quieter, didn't talk to me or Jeongin that much anymore. He tried to hide, that he was hurt and it worked, at least in the beginning. My father and he never were that close and now he also isn't close with mum anymore. He is often not home, then he is with Simon." Changbin said that name with so much disgust Chan knew something was off.
„Simon is his boyfriend and he is already 18 years old. Anyways. I soon noticed him changing. His looks, the way he talks to me and his attitude. Suddenly he became even quieter. He started to get skinnier and to sleep less, he got nightmares and anxiety attacks. And then... then yesterday he said he would go to Simons. And me and mum were home. We started arguing, really bad. But Hyunjin was already back from Simon so he heard everything. I didn't think about it yesterday but this morning I wanted to wake him up, he wasn't in his bed. I found him in the bathroom... Chan? It was horrible." Changbin started to tear up by the memories from this morning. Chan hugged him brotherly and Changbin continued talking.
„I-I...he... he was laying there completely exhausted, trying to stay awake. He was laying there so-so small. He had marks all over his body and this big bruise around his neck. And he... he had blood running down his chin. Chan? He told me that, when he is nervous, he starts biting his lip and it was really deep, he had bitten away a piece of skin. A piece of skin!" Chan was shocked , it was even worse then he thought.
„And-and... the wo-rst thing is, that-that he is so, so skinny. I saw his bones, I could count his ribs. Chan what should I do? Why didn't I saw it earlier?" Changbin was despaired. And Chan tried his best to process what he just heard. Both sitting there in silence lost in their own thoughts. Till they heard the door open. They jumped up in sync and walked towards the Nurse.
„You may come in now." they followed her inside, to see Hyunjin on the bed.
„Okay, since you don't want your parents to come Hyunjin, I need to talk to Changbin. Can you come with me?" she pointed to the office door.
„Can I come too?" Chan suddenly asked, surprising everyone, even himself.
„Changbin has to decide."
„Yeah, yeah it's fine. He can come." and with that the three went into the office and left a frightened Hyunjin alone.
Changbin and Chan took a seat infront of Mrs. Kim. She put some papers infront of her and looked at the boys.
„So, Changbin since you are already 17 and his brother, I can talk to you instead your parents. And let me say there is a lot."
Changbin knew it but got more nervous the longer she waited to talk again.
„First of all why he collapsed. He is overworked, has lack of sleep and nutrients. Also I talked to him and it seems like he has some kind of social anxiety, and that made it even harder for him to walk over the school yard. The cut on his eyebrow isn't that deep so you should just change the plaster every two days. The next thing I noticed is, that he has a lot of bruises and marks on his upper body. I'm not in the position to say what you should do, but if somebody is abusing him, you can always talk to me and you should go to the police." Changbin nodded, he didn't expect her to be so kind.
„And the thing that worries me the most is his weight. He is underweight and seems to have some type of disordered eating. He is 1.70m tall but only weights 48kg wich is way too less. His Bmi is 17.3, and he should at least, at least weight 54kg." Changbin was shocked. He knew it was bad, but that was to much, his brother his Innie. Chan felt the same. He was trying to hold his emotions back, cause he knew it wouldn't help if he would lose control now.
„So what should we do?" Changbin asked.
„First of all talk to him, be there for him, show him that you care. Then he should see a psychiatrist but he will probably refuse. Don't pressure him too much with it, and you could try by yourself to help him. Make sure he eats three times a day, and I'm not sure about that but he may try to throw it up afterwards. But if it won't get better, please go and see a doctor. I can't do more for you than that." she said seeming sad about the fact to be unable to help. Changbin nodded, Chan thanked her and they got out the office, to find a sleeping Hyunjin on the bed...
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Heyyyy!
I really don't know where all that motivation to write comes from(probably cause I avoid doing school work😅) but I'm not mad about it.
As always, take care of yourself and I hope you liked this chapter :)
C🌻