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Chapter 23: Shoot Your Shot

Chapter 23: Shoot Your Shot 

"Alright," I say into the phone while carefully packing away my camera. "I'm leaving the office now," I tell him, swinging my bag over my shoulder and waving goodbye to Lan and Dean. "Is what I said earlier okay?"

"Sounds good," Ryan replies from his side of the line. "I'll see you in a bit."

By the time I get home, Ryan's already waiting at the front door for me. "A good host is usually here before the guest, I hope you don't continue to disappoint," he teases, a slantwise smile making it's way over his lips. "Should I cut my losses already?"

"Watch it. I want no 'tude and lip from you today," I tease him right back.

He knits his eyebrows together, a frown forming on his face. "Aww, not even a little 'tude and lip?"

"No, not on a special day like this," I say and approach him with my arms spread open. "Bring it in, Brewer. I can't believe it. Time really flies."

He dodges my advances. "I'm still not on board with your disgusting hugs."

I drop my arms and laugh. "I'm going to abstain from commenting on that just because I feel like everyone knows by now that you have a free pass to be a jerk all of the time," I joke and unlock the front door for us. "Jay and Greg still not home?"

Ryan shakes his head. "I phoned both while waiting on your tardiness," he deliberately reminds me of my being late, "but Greg's still at the bar and Jay's out scouting for new jobs."

Jay did mention that he wants to investigate other venues of revenue. It makes sense. I know that he doesn't want to be bartender for the rest of his life. However, I did hope he'd make it back here on time today.

"Right," I nod, feeling disheartened by the news. "I thought that at least either of them would be here to say goodbye. I wanted to send you off with a bang, but life got in the way."

I cancelled Ryan's going-away party after Zac's confession. It didn't feel right to hold a party while Bell and Max are grieving.

Ry chooses not to focus on the negatives. "Nah, don't worry about it. You're the only one that really matters," he exhales, looking away.

"What?" I ask, at a loss.

He sees the puzzled expression on my face and explains himself, "Your pals, your family, they're great, but at the end of the day, they're not my family. I connect more with you than any one of them."

I open the front door and step in, gesturing for him to follow. "I didn't know that you felt that way. I'm sorry."

It started with Sarah and Lan. I guess it only got worse after his latest break-up. I know that he's been feeling a disconnect from us since Nancy but what he doesn't know is that I'd choose him over Nancy a billion times over.

"It is what it is," he says with a shrug.

I take a chance with my next couple of words – I've been meaning to mention it to him for a while now, but I always chicken out. "I've noticed that you seem anxious a lot of the time. Is that something unique to my friends or is it with everyone?"

Ry stills for a moment, taken aback. "You noticed that?" 

"Yeah, but you hide it well."

I've seen the way his fingers twitch when in a large crowd. I've seen the way he withdraws and retreats into his shell when he's uncomfortable. And I've seen how socially awkward he can be when he doesn't know what to say or how to act. I also know that despite his attitude, he had real feelings for Nancy.