The Allure Of darkness

chapter 19

☆Ravenna's POV:☆

i fell asleep on nik's chest, when i woke up he was still sleeping, and azalea was still between us, we were laying under the blanket and azalea was basically also covered by our bodies.
i was staring at nik, i can't stop myself from smiling when i look at him.
his voice pulled me out of my thoughts "you're staring"
"i'm gazing"
"it's creepy" he replied
"it's romantic" i said.
he smiled and he kissed me.
"what time is it?" he asked, i turned and checked my phone, "1am"
"it's so early baby go back to sleep" he said while standing up, "where are you going?" i asked
"i want to empty my mind a bit, i'm going to paint" he replied.
he put on a boxer and some sweatpants, and he went to the painting room, i quickly followed behind him, i wore my red bralette and one of his boxers since he tore my panties, and i entered the room, i hugged him from behind when he was putting colors on the palette.
"why are you still awake sweatheart" he asked, he put the palette down and his hands met mine, he then turned me around fast so he was behind me, he took the brush and he dipped it in some paint as he started painting, he was continuing a painting he started a week ago, and i could tell he's really creative from what he created.

"nik, what will happen to azalea if we don't work out?" i asked him, i was very curious and insecure,  i don't know why he loves me, why me, there are a billion women his age more beautiful and hot and experienced than me, so what's special, i stare at myself for hours everday trying to figure out what he sees in me but i never get any answers.
he stopped what he was doing, he put the brush on the table next to the canvas and he turned me to face him, i was staring at the floor, so he held ny chin up roughly and he said "look me in the eye and tell me what on earth got into your head, what makes you think we wouldn't work out, i love you and i'll always protect our relationship with my life, azalea will know you as the mother she always needed.." he said, his face then turned into a sad expression "unless you don't want to be with me"
"noo, no i didn't mean it like that, look at me, i love you, i would never leave you, you saved me and you showed me that i'm not alone and that i deserve happiness, but i, i-"
"you what, just say it"
"i just don't know what you see in me, why do you love me, i lived my entire life being bullied and being told that i'm never gonna be loved, and that even my parents left me, and i was made fun of at school for being the girl who everyone i love dies, and that i'm just a nobody and then you show up in my life and turn it upside down and i have no idea why me there are a lot more beautiful and hot and experienced women your age surrounding you and still you chose me and i'm afraid you'll eventually get tired of me and dump me" i said running out of breath, he looked at me, not saying a word, he froze for a while then i said "say something you should be saying something right i mean i'm freaking out and you're just so calm how do you do it".
he bursted out laughing, i was so shocked at his action but his laugh was so addicting,
"oh god i can't i-" he tried to talk but his laughter wasn't helping.
"you're so adorable when you're insecure baby, i chose you, you are just perfect, i love you till death, i don't care about other women, about their experience, you're so pure and that's what i care about, they're hoes and change men like i change shirts. and you think i love you because of sex? well you couldn't be more wrong, your body is perfect, our sex is perfect, it's the most amazing sex I've ever had, and what is that you're afraid i might get tired of you? how can i get tired of you when i can't get enough of you? and i honestly am afraid that you would dump me when you realise what monsteryou're dealing with, i'll never leave your side"
he said frankly, my eyes watered and he saw that, i couldn't help the tears rolling down my cheeks, he wiped them with his thumbs and he placed a kiss on my forehead, "don't cry baby, i hate to see you cry"
he hugged me so tight.
"you're not a monster.. i love you so much please don't break my heart" i almost begged, he looked at me, he had his hands on my head "never, i promise"
he led us back to bed, we layed next to izzie, we talked for a while before i fell asleep.

♤♡Niklaus's POV:◇♧

when she fell asleep in my arms, my anxiety came back, she was begging me not to break her heart, but still few weeks later i have to go on the most dangerous mission i've ever faced in my life, there's a very high chance i won't come back alive, but i have to go and kill them, it's either they die or kill my daughter and they probably want raven dead now after she beat them, i can't risk having their life in danger and i definitely don't want them to grow up hiding and afraid someone will attack every 5 seconds.
that mission is a do or die situation.
how do i tell her that? how do i tell her i'm probably going to die there, how do i look in her eyes and tell her that i broke our promise and that i'll probably break her heart of i didn't survive. this is a game of survival i've been playing since i was a child, i had to run, to fight, to cry, i've spent so much time running and hiding and killing and fighting just to survive. and i didn't survive back then because i am who i am, it's because i never looked back, i'm not as brave as people seem to think i am. but now i have to do something or else my family will be destroyed, always and forever will become a story, a legend people in the mafia tell their kids as a bed time story...

i want to give something to izzie, it's from katherine, when she was pregnant she gave them to me and told me to give them to azalea, and tell her that mommy loves her so much in case she doesn't make it in labor, i feel like she felt like she's going to die, and that breaks my heart more, my bestfriend was killed and here i am alive to avenge her, and for izzie who had to grow up like this, raven is a great mother, she loves her as if she's her own. she knows how to be both a mother and a father and she always advise me on how to be the perfect father izzie could have, and everything she said is reality,  i remember when i grew up i hated my parents, and i was afraid that i might become like them, but raven is not esther, and i am not mikael, raven proved to me that i can be better and that i already am better because izzie loves me so much..

i woke up at 7am, the girls were still asleep, i didn't want to wake them so i carefully got out of bed and went to the bathroom, i brushed my teeth and got changed and then i went downstairs, i was making breakfast for them knowing that they will be awake moments later, they usually wake up around this time.
raven doesn't like eggs, she likes pastries and stuff like that, she loves croissants and toast and azalea eat biscuits or cookie's crunches in milk, i have no idea where raven got this idea from but it works.
i usually go for whatever raven is eating, she's got a very good taste, in everything.

moments later i can hear raven's footsteps on the stairs, she made it to the kitchen with azalea, azalea was walking with her, of course she had her hands in raven's and she was walking down the stairs very carefully and slowly.
when azalea saw me she ran to me almost falling, i held her in my arms and i threw in the air and caught her again, she started giggling and laughing and she was kissing my beard and my neck and pulling my hair.
raven doesn't like it when i throw azalea and catch her because she's afraid she will fall.
"hi" raven said while kissing me.
"hello" i replied.
"what is this" she said pointing at izzie's bowl, i crushed some of azalea's favourite chocolate cookies and i was ready to pour milk in them
"izzie's breakfast"
"oh my god nik, you have to crush them more,  she could choke on these, her teeth are so sensitive right now" she complained, she took them and put them in the blender, she mixed them for a few seconds,  she doesn't want them to be powder,  just small crunches, and she put them in the bowl and added a lil bit milk to them and mixed them. i put azalea in her seat and put this towel like thing around her neck, raven put the bowl with a spoon in front of her and started to feed her a bit, then azalea took the spoon and decided to be a big girl and feed herself.
me and raven ate and talked a bit.
i don't know how to tell her, i would choke on my words each time i try.